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schedule
June 3, 2004 at 12:00 AM
great chapter! Wonderful! I can't wait for the next chapter. Please update soon!!
schedule
June 2, 2004 at 12:00 AM
I like the story so far, and am looking forward to your next update! There are so many stories about various Turner/Sparrow children, but this one seems to have better potential than most...
schedule
June 2, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Ahhh! More! More! More! I am absolutely loving this. I wasn't so sure about it in the beginning, but now I am hooked. Please update soon and add me to the list!
schedule
March 15, 2004 at 12:00 AM
hurry up and make him meet his kids! lol. i love the stroy, can't wait for more!
schedule
March 13, 2004 at 12:00 AM
really good story line! love it i love it lol
keep it cuming ;)
xxx Ravnx
keep it cuming ;)
xxx Ravnx
schedule
March 13, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Wow, I like this! You could really go a lot of different directions with it. Keep up the good work!
schedule
March 9, 2004 at 12:00 AM
This is gonna be a great story, i can just imagine the reaction to Jack meeting Will's children (could be very interesting)
PLEASE UPDATE SOON!!!
PLEASE UPDATE SOON!!!
schedule
March 9, 2004 at 12:00 AM
wee, I like this story :)
but I do have a few issues that you may want to consider for future reference or however that works for you authors :p
I think the story is going way to fast! I understand the speed with the prologue, but Will went from alive to dead ina couple paragraphs :p
and in the first chapter, James and Liz went from arguing about telling the kids to telling them so fast... I think maybe you should have had a bit about their dinner there, with tension between Liz and James.
I also think the kids reaction is a bit.. .well.. not written well. There is an allusion to their shock, but there is nothing like "And the twins st at at Liz and James in shock" or anything. and I'm a bit confused, do the twins know that James isn't there dad? did they just think that Will died before finding out about them? How did he die? Little details like that will help a lot I think :)
otherwise, I really do like this story, although I must admit I was a bit hesitant to read it at first. I can't wait for more :)
but I do have a few issues that you may want to consider for future reference or however that works for you authors :p
I think the story is going way to fast! I understand the speed with the prologue, but Will went from alive to dead ina couple paragraphs :p
and in the first chapter, James and Liz went from arguing about telling the kids to telling them so fast... I think maybe you should have had a bit about their dinner there, with tension between Liz and James.
I also think the kids reaction is a bit.. .well.. not written well. There is an allusion to their shock, but there is nothing like "And the twins st at at Liz and James in shock" or anything. and I'm a bit confused, do the twins know that James isn't there dad? did they just think that Will died before finding out about them? How did he die? Little details like that will help a lot I think :)
otherwise, I really do like this story, although I must admit I was a bit hesitant to read it at first. I can't wait for more :)
schedule
March 9, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Woo! Lookin' good! Story looks great, it really is lovely. I'm so honoured. *beams* Nicely done. La la la. Yay! Joy! Ha, I'm so hyper now. Thank you!
schedule
March 9, 2004 at 12:00 AM
I love this story. Would it be to much to ask that you would email me when you update. I'd really like to see where this goes.