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schedule
May 10, 2004 at 12:00 AM
i'm glad that SOMEBODY remembered that Achilles is gay/bi! thank you sooooo much! *lots of hugs* write more soon!
schedule
May 8, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Okay, you asked for constructive criticism, so here it its. These three things were bothering me.
First of all, the language they use is very "common.\at Iat I mean to say is, they sound like they're here and now. I'm not asking you to learn Greek, but, forgive me, they sound like bad-ass high-schoolers.
When writing, try to keep things in one tense. I noticed that verbs kept changing from past tense to present and back again. Stories want to be one or the other.
And finally... I don't think there were headlights in ancient Greece.
I do love the iof tof the story, of Achilles seducing Paris. Orlando is my guy and his vulnerability IS quite intoxicating... Remember that to get better at writing, you have to keep doing it! Power to the writers!
First of all, the language they use is very "common.\at Iat I mean to say is, they sound like they're here and now. I'm not asking you to learn Greek, but, forgive me, they sound like bad-ass high-schoolers.
When writing, try to keep things in one tense. I noticed that verbs kept changing from past tense to present and back again. Stories want to be one or the other.
And finally... I don't think there were headlights in ancient Greece.
I do love the iof tof the story, of Achilles seducing Paris. Orlando is my guy and his vulnerability IS quite intoxicating... Remember that to get better at writing, you have to keep doing it! Power to the writers!
schedule
April 25, 2004 at 12:00 AM
i dont see how a nice, pretty person like you writes this, but ill support you. Very good even though im not gay. But you need to spell better. No offense. Keep writing.
schedule
April 15, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Great chapter. I bet you won't get this in the film.
schedule
April 11, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Cool, another Troy fic! Update soon, this story has alot of potential!
schedule
April 9, 2004 at 12:00 AM
very good manda, i liked it, even though i am a guy. No i am not gay. I like your style but try to be less cliche withe the my pretty stuff. It was used in the wizard of oz. But keep writing, maybe youll become a writer of erotica someday.