AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for elizabeths desire

by dinodoll

person Ibex
schedule January 11, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Nice start, I like this take on the many many many versions of the night on the island! However, you could focus more on showing the reader what is going on rather than telling them. Paint pictures with the words, I know this story must roll through your head like a movie, you're see it it all--as a reader, I want to have that experience too. And doing some research always help to set a mood--a telegram? In the 1600's? Keep writing, this is a good first effort!
person Corki
schedule May 9, 2004 at 12:00 AM
oh i love this story please update soon its really good i love jack and elizabeth fics
person Chelsey
schedule May 3, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Cool. I like the different twist. Keep it up!

-Chelsey- AKA: HisBeautiful