AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for Bella

by Lizzo

schedule June 30, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Very sweet. Very sensual without being a lemon. I enjoyed it quite a bit.

One thought that I hope you take as a constructive criticism (as it's NOT meant at all as a flame!): Paragraphs...make it easier to read. I know it was basically a single thought...but it would have broken down into 3-5 paragraphs fairly easily, and I wouldn't have had to use my mouse to read...

Mostly though, I did thoroughly enjoy it!

Hellborne
schedule June 30, 2004 at 12:00 AM

I liked this. I had a vision of him in my mind as I was reading it and I was the one doing the tracing. Excellant!
person Anon
schedule June 30, 2004 at 12:00 AM
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