schedule
December 13, 2004 at 12:00 AM
there were some kinda big typo deals. you may wish to find a beta before you post in the future. It's a bit strained and nervous but that will ease as you write more. I like that you used Specs. he never gets any het action.
Specs has a bowler hat, not a cap. if it's changed then you may want to say something about that in the story. just a short blurb.
this is one that if you revised it and made it a bit longer could be really good. as it is, it's barely R more like PG-13.
you have pretty good basic form and there is definately potential there. Keep writing. I'll read your stuff. I'm sure others will too, especially if you revise a bit and draw us in more. :-)
Specs has a bowler hat, not a cap. if it's changed then you may want to say something about that in the story. just a short blurb.
this is one that if you revised it and made it a bit longer could be really good. as it is, it's barely R more like PG-13.
you have pretty good basic form and there is definately potential there. Keep writing. I'll read your stuff. I'm sure others will too, especially if you revise a bit and draw us in more. :-)