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January 5, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Love the interactions, the flow of the story is fantastic and I'm having no problems following. Please do update soon.
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November 3, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Ooops, type errors.. I meant OFC. Can't wait to the next chapter!
Hugs,
Selina
Hugs,
Selina
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November 2, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Thank you kindly, Miss Selina, to take some time out to comment on my story!
1) What's an OOC? In my online experience it has meant "out of character"?... I'm sorry if it makes readers unhappy, but yes, I fully intend on bastardizing to my own selfish, naughty whims... (And I'll explain in the story, too, how it comes about.)
2) I will certainly take your nicely-put critiques into consideration. I cannot promise I will take them, though. Yes, I did make my Cat persona into a goddess-type. Mary Sue and whatnot - but that is because it is my fantasy. I will certainly think about roughing her up, at least for some part of the story.
3) Cliffers ers - I'll try to throw in whenever possible. Eventually, all-out smuttiness ~will~ ensue, however! But we have a while to get to that.
I am currently waiting on my friend to type the next chapter. There ~will~ be revisions as this is still quite a rough draft when I post the chapters. And then I go back and fix sometimes - when I realize I wanted something changed. But I am still having much fun with it.
Thanks for stopping by!!! Yes, go Latinas! *gg*
1) What's an OOC? In my online experience it has meant "out of character"?... I'm sorry if it makes readers unhappy, but yes, I fully intend on bastardizing to my own selfish, naughty whims... (And I'll explain in the story, too, how it comes about.)
2) I will certainly take your nicely-put critiques into consideration. I cannot promise I will take them, though. Yes, I did make my Cat persona into a goddess-type. Mary Sue and whatnot - but that is because it is my fantasy. I will certainly think about roughing her up, at least for some part of the story.
3) Cliffers ers - I'll try to throw in whenever possible. Eventually, all-out smuttiness ~will~ ensue, however! But we have a while to get to that.
I am currently waiting on my friend to type the next chapter. There ~will~ be revisions as this is still quite a rough draft when I post the chapters. And then I go back and fix sometimes - when I realize I wanted something changed. But I am still having much fun with it.
Thanks for stopping by!!! Yes, go Latinas! *gg*
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November 2, 2004 at 12:00 AM
My Dear,
What an outstanding chapter! I like this store more and more. Can't wait for updates.
"This form can simulate human functions as required, Ms. Hex."
Really nice one. Keeps you thinking ;-)
I also like the story because I am half Latin (Brazil) and my book, 'Tango With An Agent' has a main character, Helena, who reminds me of Cat. She's also Latin. Latinas rule the world YAY! :-)
However, I must give you some critique, if you don't mind. Take it as a constructive critique - because I love your story and have nothing bad to say. Just some suggestions.
1) Try not to make Smith an OOC. He is Smith and must remain Smith. At least for a while. ;-)
2) Some may say that Cat is a bit...Mary Sue. I think that some people would complain a bit about her perfect looks, which you describe a bit much, IMO. She is almost a Goddess. You see, when I started Writing 'Tango With An Agent', my character Helena was a bit of Mary Sue too. Perfect looks, perfect lips, smart and all that stuff. So I took her down from her piedestal, shoot her, made her a bit hysterical and dirty. I made her a bit more human. Perhaps it would be a good idea to give Cat some challenges, to would her a bit, etc. And then, Smith can come and save her from all this mess ;-)
3) Try to give readers some cliffhangers. Cliffhangers are very good for a romantic story. Just as readers think that things are about to get hot, you finish the chapter, leaving them on the edge of their seats.
4) Perhaps you should take a look at 'Ta? ;-? ;-)
All the best,
Selina
What an outstanding chapter! I like this store more and more. Can't wait for updates.
"This form can simulate human functions as required, Ms. Hex."
Really nice one. Keeps you thinking ;-)
I also like the story because I am half Latin (Brazil) and my book, 'Tango With An Agent' has a main character, Helena, who reminds me of Cat. She's also Latin. Latinas rule the world YAY! :-)
However, I must give you some critique, if you don't mind. Take it as a constructive critique - because I love your story and have nothing bad to say. Just some suggestions.
1) Try not to make Smith an OOC. He is Smith and must remain Smith. At least for a while. ;-)
2) Some may say that Cat is a bit...Mary Sue. I think that some people would complain a bit about her perfect looks, which you describe a bit much, IMO. She is almost a Goddess. You see, when I started Writing 'Tango With An Agent', my character Helena was a bit of Mary Sue too. Perfect looks, perfect lips, smart and all that stuff. So I took her down from her piedestal, shoot her, made her a bit hysterical and dirty. I made her a bit more human. Perhaps it would be a good idea to give Cat some challenges, to would her a bit, etc. And then, Smith can come and save her from all this mess ;-)
3) Try to give readers some cliffhangers. Cliffhangers are very good for a romantic story. Just as readers think that things are about to get hot, you finish the chapter, leaving them on the edge of their seats.
4) Perhaps you should take a look at 'Ta? ;-? ;-)
All the best,
Selina
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November 2, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Oh. I didn't realize that you've already seen 'Tango'.
Btw, that smacking Smith's ass thing - it was priceless!
Btw, that smacking Smith's ass thing - it was priceless!
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October 27, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Well here I am girls, at it again. This is your faithful reader here with another review!
I'm intrigued to say the least. Did I detect a little more than just a slight attraction to Jonathan on Cat's part? I sure hope not, or there could beubleuble.......can't wait for the next chapter!
C.
I'm intrigued to say the least. Did I detect a little more than just a slight attraction to Jonathan on Cat's part? I sure hope not, or there could beubleuble.......can't wait for the next chapter!
C.
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October 27, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Ladies, Ladies, Ladies!!!
Thank you sooooo much for the encouraging reviews. I know this story must "sucketh muchly" in comparison to many others you've read. I wasn't going to try ~too hard~ on making it good.
But again, I am having fun writing it. I am going mad with the power to bastardize that SexXxy Agent Smith to my own eeeeevil naughty ends! Bwa ha ha!!! And if anything, I hope you all have fun reading it.
Thank you sooooo much for the encouraging reviews. I know this story must "sucketh muchly" in comparison to many others you've read. I wasn't going to try ~too hard~ on making it good.
But again, I am having fun writing it. I am going mad with the power to bastardize that SexXxy Agent Smith to my own eeeeevil naughty ends! Bwa ha ha!!! And if anything, I hope you all have fun reading it.
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October 27, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Just two words, WRITE MORE!
C.
C.
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October 25, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Dear Cat,
It is my pleasure to invite you to our new Agent Smith Community.
It's a place for all Smith fans to meet, share, discuss and create. There's Fan Art, Fan Fiction, RPG and a lot more.
And it's all about Smih.
Go to this link to join it:
http://selina.suddenlaunch3.com
It is my pleasure to invite you to our new Agent Smith Community.
It's a place for all Smith fans to meet, share, discuss and create. There's Fan Art, Fan Fiction, RPG and a lot more.
And it's all about Smih.
Go to this link to join it:
http://selina.suddenlaunch3.com
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October 21, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Hurray! An update! Poor Cyren and Jonathan. The Matrix's version of Romeo and Juliet. Starcrossed lovers indeed! Please continue, this is getting very interesting. I one complaint: Where is Smith? I hope he makes an appearance in the next chappie!
I do like the whole starcrossed storyline, too. Good job girls! Keep it coming.
C.
I do like the whole starcrossed storyline, too. Good job girls! Keep it coming.
C.