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November 30, -0001 at 12:00 AM
I think your story is good so far. Definitely would like to read more.
You may want to ellaborate a bit more in your descriptions. The second chapter was great and I love the idea but it also seemed a bit rushed from the point of when Erik saw her to w
You may want to ellaborate a bit more in your descriptions. The second chapter was great and I love the idea but it also seemed a bit rushed from the point of when Erik saw her to w
schedule
November 30, -0001 at 12:00 AM
I like the changes you've done to Erik. You're defintely capturing his darker qualities.
Just a few suggestions. He was holding her arms pinned down the one moment and the next she was raking them through his hair. That part seemed to jump a bit.
Just a few suggestions. He was holding her arms pinned down the one moment and the next she was raking them through his hair. That part seemed to jump a bit.
schedule
November 30, -0001 at 12:00 AM
Very good beginning! Please say you will continue?
schedule
November 30, -0001 at 12:00 AM
there's only one that that really bugged me and that's the fact that erik's mask is suppossed to cover the right side of his face not the left. other than that i love it so far. keep up the good work. May 3 Phantom DVD comes out!!!!!! yaaaaaaayyyyyness
schedule
November 30, -0001 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 4
I'm back! :) Sorry for the delay but I was gone for awhile and had mucho many things to catch up on. You updated! Not once but twice. Yeah!
This chapter is really good! I like hearing it from Erik's point of view. My only criticism,
I'm back! :) Sorry for the delay but I was gone for awhile and had mucho many things to catch up on. You updated! Not once but twice. Yeah!
This chapter is really good! I like hearing it from Erik's point of view. My only criticism,
schedule
November 30, -0001 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 4
It's me again. I just wanted to say "Pardonez-moi!" I used the name Virginia in my last review when I meant Victoria. So sorry!
This gives me a chance to make one more suggestion. When Erik sees her in her underwear, you might want to
It's me again. I just wanted to say "Pardonez-moi!" I used the name Virginia in my last review when I meant Victoria. So sorry!
This gives me a chance to make one more suggestion. When Erik sees her in her underwear, you might want to
schedule
November 30, -0001 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 5
Nice chapter. Another suggestion. Victoria seems a bit subdued in this chapter which I thought might be a bit uncharacteristic. I'd have thought that she would be planning an escape of some sort away from Erik especially if she is so afra
Nice chapter. Another suggestion. Victoria seems a bit subdued in this chapter which I thought might be a bit uncharacteristic. I'd have thought that she would be planning an escape of some sort away from Erik especially if she is so afra
schedule
November 30, -0001 at 12:00 AM
I love your story! The idea is great and your writing is exellent. Don't you dare stop!
schedule
November 30, -0001 at 12:00 AM
Great story! So original! Please, keep it up!
schedule
November 30, -0001 at 12:00 AM
Kermurphel...The sound one makes when they stumble across a really good seduction scene and the Coke goes up their nose!!!!
She has to escape... but, why??? Why leave that hotness that is the Phantom of this universe????
She has to escape... but, why??? Why leave that hotness that is the Phantom of this universe????