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November 19, 2005 at 12:00 AM
*blinky blinky* How the HELL did I miss this when browsing the archives a few months ago? *boggle*
Great work!
Great work!
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March 29, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Those two do belong together...I haven't read many of the new books so I can't see as to who's supposed to be paired up with who but with the young jedi nights series I love to read and currently own (and will always own) I believe those two belong together.
(And Dru, considering a lot of stories I've read, PWP and otherwise, this is one of the better written ones...)
Sorry to rant!
Good job HermioneMalfoy...love it lots!
(And Dru, considering a lot of stories I've read, PWP and otherwise, this is one of the better written ones...)
Sorry to rant!
Good job HermioneMalfoy...love it lots!
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February 10, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Wow. Truly an amazing well thought out plot. ... jesus, there is something called exposition.
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February 8, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Actually I can take constructive criticism and thank you for what you had said. I didn't mean for my comment to sound so terse and defensive, it wasn't meant to be so. I always look to improve. There is no point, in my opinion, to continue writing if you don't look to improve. It's how we learn in everything that we do. I appreciated your comments actually. Once again I apologize for sounding so defensive, it was not my intent.
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February 6, 2005 at 12:00 AM
"...the fact that I used the term pussy is because the person I wrote it for did want it to be more porn like. And the person I wrote this for enjoyed it and therefore I am happy that she did."
My mistake. Since you posted this story at a PUBLIC forum where a multitude of people would therefore be reading it, I was under the impression that you would want your story to appeal to more than one reader.
Frankly, considering you've written a few stories (I've since looked at your bio) I'm surprised you can't take a little well meaning constructive criticism with better grace. My original comments were mixed in with encouragement and some compliments, they never approached flame territory. Yet I get the distinct impression from your response that any helpful advice flew right over your head and that you went into huffy defensive mode. You do realize that giving advice, suggestions, and encouragement *is* what the Review option is for right? In other words, it's not just there for glowing praise and ego stroking comments. It's also supposed to be a tool to help improve one's writing. Again, I guess it was my mistake thinking that you were someone who actually wished to improve. Even the best writers seek to improve themselves because once you stop striving for excellence you are doomed to wallow in mediocre.
My mistake. Since you posted this story at a PUBLIC forum where a multitude of people would therefore be reading it, I was under the impression that you would want your story to appeal to more than one reader.
Frankly, considering you've written a few stories (I've since looked at your bio) I'm surprised you can't take a little well meaning constructive criticism with better grace. My original comments were mixed in with encouragement and some compliments, they never approached flame territory. Yet I get the distinct impression from your response that any helpful advice flew right over your head and that you went into huffy defensive mode. You do realize that giving advice, suggestions, and encouragement *is* what the Review option is for right? In other words, it's not just there for glowing praise and ego stroking comments. It's also supposed to be a tool to help improve one's writing. Again, I guess it was my mistake thinking that you were someone who actually wished to improve. Even the best writers seek to improve themselves because once you stop striving for excellence you are doomed to wallow in mediocre.
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February 6, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Damn, finally someone to write a non-Jacen/Danni story....thank the force I found you! Anyway, keep up the good work....and think you could do a strait up Jaina/Zekk bit without the other guys? ^^;;
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February 6, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Yes I do know she only has one arm. I never mention anything about her arms, but I do mention her fingers.
I write smut a lot, and the fact that I used the term pussy is because the person I wrote it for did want it to be more porn like. And the person I wrote this for enjoyed it and therefore I am happy that she did.
I write smut a lot, and the fact that I used the term pussy is because the person I wrote it for did want it to be more porn like. And the person I wrote this for enjoyed it and therefore I am happy that she did.
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February 4, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Well done. Excellent job. I only found one problem with your story. Tenel Ka only has one arm— her right. She lost her left one just above the elbo, as you may or may not know, and has completely refused a cybernetic replacement.
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January 31, 2005 at 12:00 AM
wow, I mean that was really powerful and intense and just plain hot. I really enjoyed reading this, Jacen taking a dominat role is very sexy and you played him just right.
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January 31, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Not too bad. You had some typos: peaking instead of peeking. You overused moaning and groaning, a Thesaurus would help you out there. Also, 'Oh!' Could they say something else? I did like how it turned out to be a married role playing game, that was a cute little twist, not terribly original but still not all that expected either. One other suggestion, and this might just be a preference thing, but I would suggest not using the term 'pussy', it immediately turns any story into sleazy porn. If you are really trying to write a quality fic (and yes even a PWP can be quality) then find another word to use. Good effort over all, I think with time you'll get better.