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May 28, 2005 at 12:00 AM
This was very cute. I've always been a sucker for Yoda's teasing:) After seeing the rating for this story (and your other ones), I thought I'd drop you a review. Your premise and story are well written, but I believe you might get more positive feedback if you find yourself a beta reader. Your spelling is decent, but some of your grammar is a bit "off" for lack of a better word. I can also see a few problems with tense in several sentences. I've read some of your other work as well, and am particularly interested in your "Jedi and the Senator" bit, but have noticed errors there as well. You have some very promising ideas, and I can't wait to see where your stories will go, but I do hope you'll consider my advice and find yourself a beta. The Star Wars fandom alone has a massive list of people willing to assist, and another pair of eyes will without doubt improve your work. You deserve 5 star ratings, and you'll likely get them once you clean up a bit. Besides that, you're one of the better authors on here, with interesting ideas. Good luck with your writing, I hope to see more soon:) ~Cheers