AFF Fiction Portal
person The8thSin
schedule July 7, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Kick ass,David's a sadistic bastard just like the real thing.update soon...?
person kili087
schedule October 29, 2005 at 12:00 AM
ohhhh...I love the story its....wow!
person SereG
schedule October 28, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I. Want. MORE!!!!
person lena
schedule September 26, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I thought this was an intriguing idea, but it could have been better executed. I've been a huge fan of this movie for years, and to me the characterizations were pretty cardboard compared to how they thrive in the movie and how I've seen them portrayed in other fic. I'd love to see better use of the humans than just being there for the aftermath...how does this affect /their/ lives? Technical things really got to me, as well..if Michael had broken ribs he probably wouldn't be able to stand talking for long, or walking around the way he does. I'm anal about spelling and grammar so I'll cut slack there, but the town is Santa CarLA, not Carlos, and Laddie's name isn't even spelled right. And we never find out how Max is suddenly killed if he doesn't show up to the house (and it's head vampire, not master vampire). If this is an experiment in writing m/m, that's cool, but give the fandom it's due. To be fair this is a hard fandom to write well, though the vampire bits are done well. I could have done with less recycled movie dialogue. The claiming aspect is a great angle, that would be very David, and I like bits of how that's portrayed in chapter 2. The smut has a lot of potential, but it just doesn't have the oomph that seems to be needed. I'd like to see more to see what's going to happen, and if the humans are used more, there could be great blackmail potential there. Keep it up but please go watch the movie again. All in all it's a decent start but a little lackluster.
person Rina76
schedule August 18, 2005 at 12:00 AM
You're doing a wonderful job with the Male/Male scenes, if I may say so. I did not know they were your first! You got the right amount of tension and hotness there. Everyone is so in character too. I definitely want to read more.
person skittle
schedule July 21, 2005 at 12:00 AM
hey update already
person Aray
schedule July 3, 2005 at 12:00 AM
great
david should kidnap mike and star
but faLL IN LOVE W/ MIKE
and keep satr prisonor to make sure mike listens to him
person aray
schedule June 30, 2005 at 12:00 AM
great
can't wait for ch. 2
person FerFer911
schedule June 17, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Very nice begining. Please continue.
person Rankai
schedule June 14, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Great story! I hope you update soon!