rate_review Reviews

This is entertaining. The Padme dialogue *cough* dirty talk* cough* was kind of amusing because it's out of character for innocent Padme. It's not bad dialogue (or at least it's something people would say if they liked dirty talk); it's just out of character, but then again, most PWP stories in which Padme is a character are out of character for her (unless Anakin's in them), because she's so incredibly conservative/sheltered in canon. However, as a previous reviewer pointed out, this is PWP, so whatever. Canon details can be tricky to combine with random sex. Padme could randomly drop out of the sky and miraculously fall right onto Anakin's wee-wee, and it still wouldn't be out of bounds for PWP. I hope no one decides to write that one now, though, unless it's as a comedy. Well anyway, good story.

Hot in there. Good job. I was amused. These can be hard to write.

This is after reading the reviews.
It's true that Padmé's dialogue needs a bit help, but I liked it ^^


And, Benthere, was it? (I don't remember), I think he/she was quite exaggerated. There are some stories called AU, or Alternate Universe, where you can write whatever you want to: there are some stories where Jedi are 'allowed' to date, I read them myself. because it's an AU Star Wars Universe, one created by the writer. So I consider the fact that A/P couldn't date completely irrilevant. (it's PWP after all)

I have to admit that Padmé's really slutty here, but then I've read worse or even more improbable stories: well, I don't want to offend anyone, but then where in the movies you see Anakin and Palpatine lusting after each other like two mad cows??? or where Obi-wan and Anakin declare their undying love for each other, after hours of maddening sex???

What we like of fanfictions is that we can write whatever we want: if one wants to write a Obi-wan/Anakin, Anakin/Palpatine, Obi-wan/Maul, Anakin/Padmé or whatever, then it's their choise, you're not obliged to read.

so if you don't like slutty Padmé, then don't read--- well, you can read, but at least don't flame the writer.

That was very good, I really enjoyed it. It was changed around from the way these stories are generally written and it was nice to see padme written as the seducer for once. I would encourage you to write and post more A/P stories here, espeically to counter some of the slightly random Obi/Ani pairings, that have suddenly become popular.

To add on having seen the comments(why don't they let you do that before you post reviews?). While the dialogue is not very Lucas like, it still fits in with the tone and rather light hearted nature of the fic. I've seen much worse "action" and prose on supposedly serious pieces on this site.

This is terrible. You're not even in the Star Wars universe with this. We all know that Jedi don't date, at least not openly. And could Padme BE any sluttier? Dude, you need to get over your obsession with Natalie Portman. I smell a restraining order.

Wow. That was hysterical, I love parody fics! Seriously though, when I watched the film I got the distinct impression that Padme was uptight one, not Anakin. I think if she'd been inclined, Anakin would have taken her on the fine Nubian dining table, servants, Jedi Council and anyone else meddling be damned! Your dialogue needs some work though; it reminds me of a bad porn movie, and not in a good way. That takes me out of the fic more than Padme's aggressiveness, which I can take as an interesting "what if?" But the dialogue needs work. Badly.

lol, ok i'll work on it. this was my first attempt at this kinda story. i'm usually use to writing sweet PG style romance with the usual star wars action.

but i wouldn't say Anakin's dialouge was unrealistic... i totally based him off of myself in real life, just like a stumbling stuttering moron.

eh, what can I say, I'll go back to force choking Padme with Suited Vader. =)

Hot, hot, hot, hot!
I'm burning!

Absolutely hot and cool story!
Good job!

Very very hot.