rate_review Reviews

Um. Wow. That was just...I'm speechless. I hope Bastila enjoys that case of flesh-eating bacteria as much as she did the anal-to-vaginal sex without the benefit of a shower stuffed in there somewhere. Because, you know, that's what happens. I guess you'd know that if you weren't a virgin who wrote this after looking up sex in an encyclopedia. This reads like a really bad medical journal.

ALSO.

Vagina is not important enough to capitalise.

This has potential but needs a lot of work. You use random captials and there are several other grammatical mistakes. I don't think you spend enough time describing anything; nothing feels erotic because it's so rushed. The premise has potential, but I think you cheat yourself out of an oppertunity for real sexual tension by not describing the pazaak game. Please don't take this the wrong way. I wouldn't make these suggestions if I didn't think the fic was completely worthless.

Oh, and Bastilafan, if you know of any other Bastila anal sex fics, could you let me know?

Bastila getting fucked in the ass is always good, but you need more detail. It was a good start, but you can flesh out the sex scenes a lot more, and use more description than simple "he stuck his penis in". Use more adjectives, and different words - i.e. 'member' or 'cock' etc etc.

Other than that, nice. Like I said, Bastila + anal = instant win. There's depressingly few Bastila fics on this site.

The world needs more KOTOR lemons, keep going

Not bad.

Was that appropriate use of the Force?

Well hot fic finally a Revan Bast pairing don't see 'em often

great story - loved the chracters and the "action" lol was very hot