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January 31, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I want to dip the blowjob scene in gold and put it on display as the pinnacle of man's achievements.
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September 14, 2006 at 12:00 AM
[parachutes in from reviewing the last story]
>A miniature Bruce Wayne smirked down at them from a corner on the screen.>
>“I went out with him once. Before I had my career change.["]>
Particularly liked these lines.
>Ivy took his hand, shaking it vigorously. If he hadn’t been immune to her toxin, then the prolonged exposure would have likely killed him.>
Heh... nice. Maybe that was why she tried it...
_Love_ how you handled Two-Face. True to the "Begins" canon, the villains don't need crippling deformities or supernatural stuff like Lazarus Pits to make them a viable threat. You make Two-Face wonderfully believable in just this kind of way.
>“I’ve asked you not to call me that.”
“Lot of wishes in the world, Johnny, doesn’t mean they all get to happen.” Suddenly Dent’s hands were on him, entirely too familiar on his bound body.>
That Dent would be a smarmy asshole fits well, too, seeing how much he hobnobs with "drunken billionaire" Wayne.
>His answer came a few seconds later when the businessman slammed the door shut using Jonathan’s body>
Aha! Batman's turn! Talk about making an entrance...
>Apparently flirt and act innocent could take a hike.>
...
Dear _god_ I love your lines.
>Bruce responded by slapping him hard. Jonathan hissed at the pain, his arousal flaring up to supernova proportions.>
Being afraid turns him on? Heh heh... appropriate, I suppose. Fear _does_ tend to go hand in hand with a loss of control.
>“I was thinking about those lips of yours,” Bruce continued, still pulling steadily on Jonathan’s hair. “Thinking about them wrapped around my cock. Thinking about yanking on your hair until you screamed. Thinking about your damned gorgeous eyes filled with tears because it’s too much for you to take and making you take more.”>
...SHIT, that's hot.
>Jonathan groaned at the images Bruce’s words produced, his hands finally sliding down to find his own cock, rubbing himself through the fabric. Bruce pulled harder on his hair, causing a sound unmistakably similar to a scream to tumble past his lips.
“Don’t you dare touch yourself, not while you’re working for me. Now get to work!”>
I just... wow.
>“You fucking gorgeous little cock-slut,” Bruce said huskily. Jonathan was impressed by his description but was too busy to dissect it. He sucked hard, molding his cheeks around the member choking him.>
Ungh. Give me a minute or three here...
Whew. Now, where was I?
>He glanced up at Bruce, knowing that his expression was one step belong begging and not caring.>
"Belong," or "between"...?
>“That’s it, boy, that’s what I wanted to see.” Bruce chuckled darkly, caressing Jonathan’s head in a pointlessly soft way. “You did good.”
Well, Jonathan’s brain corrected snidely as he closed his eyes, feeling as humiliated as Bruce obviously wanted him to.>
Ha ha! Wow, if that doesn't illustrate how deep-set Crane's intellectualism is, nothing can! Very spiffy way of showing it.
>“Um,” Jonathan began, a terribly clever thing comment just aching to enter into his mind but being blocked by the parts that really just wanted to come.>
Did you mean "thing" OR "comment"? (It _is_ a great line, otherwise.)
>Bruce found that shit-eating grin again and spoke to Jonathan like he was very young child.>
This is where I beat back my own Grammar Himmler to keep from harping about the missing "a" between "was very," too. Kind of like the line "Bruce, honestly, how can we _saw_ that we want to help" in "Good Help"-- when it's just one or two lines in the entire fic, it's more like complaining over specks.
>He stood in one quick shot, fully intending on taking that giant stapler on Bruce’s desk and beating him to death with it.>
Good callback to the previous fic!
>Jonathan was halfway down the elevator with his armed escort when he realized that he didn’t have any proof of his encounter with Bruce, unless one counted the semen in his stomach.>
Scarecrow: 1. Batman: 1! (Nice, how you round the score off with the third fic.)
Overall, my one big issue with this story is how uncertain the lines between the "Animated Series" and "Begins" Batman continuities are, especially when you've started fleshing out characters not yet in the "Begins" canon so well (Two-Face) while others are glossed over (Mad Hatter, Scarface) or tossed in willy-nilly, with no changes or explanations to be found (Killer Croc, Mr. Freeze, and especially "Mistah J"'s Harley Quinn).
Of course, with "Sessions," you not only kept everything within the boundaries of the movie, but crafted backstories for the other villains mentioned that fit into the continuity _seamlessly,_ so... heh, feel free to ignore all this "advice," as it's obvious you've already well surpassed it on your own. [grin]
Right-o, onto the next fic!
>A miniature Bruce Wayne smirked down at them from a corner on the screen.>
>“I went out with him once. Before I had my career change.["]>
Particularly liked these lines.
>Ivy took his hand, shaking it vigorously. If he hadn’t been immune to her toxin, then the prolonged exposure would have likely killed him.>
Heh... nice. Maybe that was why she tried it...
_Love_ how you handled Two-Face. True to the "Begins" canon, the villains don't need crippling deformities or supernatural stuff like Lazarus Pits to make them a viable threat. You make Two-Face wonderfully believable in just this kind of way.
>“I’ve asked you not to call me that.”
“Lot of wishes in the world, Johnny, doesn’t mean they all get to happen.” Suddenly Dent’s hands were on him, entirely too familiar on his bound body.>
That Dent would be a smarmy asshole fits well, too, seeing how much he hobnobs with "drunken billionaire" Wayne.
>His answer came a few seconds later when the businessman slammed the door shut using Jonathan’s body>
Aha! Batman's turn! Talk about making an entrance...
>Apparently flirt and act innocent could take a hike.>
...
Dear _god_ I love your lines.
>Bruce responded by slapping him hard. Jonathan hissed at the pain, his arousal flaring up to supernova proportions.>
Being afraid turns him on? Heh heh... appropriate, I suppose. Fear _does_ tend to go hand in hand with a loss of control.
>“I was thinking about those lips of yours,” Bruce continued, still pulling steadily on Jonathan’s hair. “Thinking about them wrapped around my cock. Thinking about yanking on your hair until you screamed. Thinking about your damned gorgeous eyes filled with tears because it’s too much for you to take and making you take more.”>
...SHIT, that's hot.
>Jonathan groaned at the images Bruce’s words produced, his hands finally sliding down to find his own cock, rubbing himself through the fabric. Bruce pulled harder on his hair, causing a sound unmistakably similar to a scream to tumble past his lips.
“Don’t you dare touch yourself, not while you’re working for me. Now get to work!”>
I just... wow.
>“You fucking gorgeous little cock-slut,” Bruce said huskily. Jonathan was impressed by his description but was too busy to dissect it. He sucked hard, molding his cheeks around the member choking him.>
Ungh. Give me a minute or three here...
Whew. Now, where was I?
>He glanced up at Bruce, knowing that his expression was one step belong begging and not caring.>
"Belong," or "between"...?
>“That’s it, boy, that’s what I wanted to see.” Bruce chuckled darkly, caressing Jonathan’s head in a pointlessly soft way. “You did good.”
Well, Jonathan’s brain corrected snidely as he closed his eyes, feeling as humiliated as Bruce obviously wanted him to.>
Ha ha! Wow, if that doesn't illustrate how deep-set Crane's intellectualism is, nothing can! Very spiffy way of showing it.
>“Um,” Jonathan began, a terribly clever thing comment just aching to enter into his mind but being blocked by the parts that really just wanted to come.>
Did you mean "thing" OR "comment"? (It _is_ a great line, otherwise.)
>Bruce found that shit-eating grin again and spoke to Jonathan like he was very young child.>
This is where I beat back my own Grammar Himmler to keep from harping about the missing "a" between "was very," too. Kind of like the line "Bruce, honestly, how can we _saw_ that we want to help" in "Good Help"-- when it's just one or two lines in the entire fic, it's more like complaining over specks.
>He stood in one quick shot, fully intending on taking that giant stapler on Bruce’s desk and beating him to death with it.>
Good callback to the previous fic!
>Jonathan was halfway down the elevator with his armed escort when he realized that he didn’t have any proof of his encounter with Bruce, unless one counted the semen in his stomach.>
Scarecrow: 1. Batman: 1! (Nice, how you round the score off with the third fic.)
Overall, my one big issue with this story is how uncertain the lines between the "Animated Series" and "Begins" Batman continuities are, especially when you've started fleshing out characters not yet in the "Begins" canon so well (Two-Face) while others are glossed over (Mad Hatter, Scarface) or tossed in willy-nilly, with no changes or explanations to be found (Killer Croc, Mr. Freeze, and especially "Mistah J"'s Harley Quinn).
Of course, with "Sessions," you not only kept everything within the boundaries of the movie, but crafted backstories for the other villains mentioned that fit into the continuity _seamlessly,_ so... heh, feel free to ignore all this "advice," as it's obvious you've already well surpassed it on your own. [grin]
Right-o, onto the next fic!
schedule
August 19, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Write more!
*Sics ravinish flesh eating gay men on you*
Attack! Attack!
((In truth I totally luff this,please continue))
*Sics ravinish flesh eating gay men on you*
Attack! Attack!
((In truth I totally luff this,please continue))
schedule
August 18, 2005 at 12:00 AM
your story is SO SO SO SO SO hot
keep writing sequels!
keep writing sequels!
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August 15, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Wow, that was intense. Loved Bruce. I think he should lose a bit of control. There will be more, right? Please?
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August 7, 2005 at 12:00 AM
more!
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August 7, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Fabulously written and it definitely made my day. I can't wait to see more. :)
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August 4, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Holy shit! When I saw the movie today I knew I needed to find me some Crane/Wayne stuff, but I wasn't expecting anything this awesome. THANK YOU. Ohhh <3
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August 3, 2005 at 12:00 AM
you rock! can u do a crane and ducard fic please!
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July 31, 2005 at 12:00 AM
wow morri, you're really making magic with these characters. i love the way you portray jonathan crane, i really do. i love the power structure you've created here. looking forward to reading more of your stuff. :)