rate_review Reviews

I like it so far. I think he should toy with Sarah but in the end chooses her. Or at least makes her his head mistress or wife. Well done!

Oooh, this story is really good! You sooo need to update I want to see what happens next!!

Oh please tell me your gona update this....

I love your story and the direction it seems to be heading in. The dreams of past and unconsciously straying back to her old self, added with his dressier to seemingly want more that just her body. It sounds really good!!!!!

So loads of inspiration to you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This story is awesome! Beautifully told thus far, I look forward to future installments.

Woman is singular, Women is plural, but you use Women all the time, even when talking only about one woman. There are some other typo's and small grammatical mistakes like that.

Also, you jump around viewpoints in the same paragraph. You use "I" and "she" when referring to Sarah, and you do this in a few places. You should pick one way & stick with that version - it is less confusing all around.

You may think of having a beta look this over for you. Fixing those errors would take this from a good story and make it a great story. Keep up the good work!

For a rough draft, I though that Ch.3 was really good. If this is what you can write when you are uninspired, I can't wait to read what you can write when you are inspired.

wow!!! i love this story! your writing is just amazing. please, give us more chapters!

- Cryllin

please continue this story

damn...Jareth totally played Sara...this is really good.
Finally that bitch gets what she deserves...

Please write more. I love your writing and it is such a good piece. I look forward to more.