rate_review Reviews

update soon I really like your story and please don't make Jareth bald ^_^

I really like what you have so far, it seems pretty true to how the characters would have acted.

aah..I was really confused there at the begining of the chapter. but now it makes sense. I like your take on this challenge, It's very good. keep writing :)

Again, you went from third person to first person perspective. This time in the middle of a paragraph. This is *very* confusing. Also, the plural of woman is women. Please note the differance.

I liked these two chapters.... but I vote for love. Reading use and abuse (no matter the type) is a really sickening thought. The second chapter was well written, the first chapter was a bit odd. It started out from 2nd person or 3rd (basically one of those is telling it as a narrator as if it already happened, or telling it like a narrator as it IS happening. You started it with as if it were happening.) then you switched to first person (from the characters pov. Okay, I could have mixed up which number means what but what I mean to say is you started it one way then switched to another) so it was kinda a bit confusing. Otherwise the second chapter was great. Very well done, nummy too. Good luck writing the rest.

OOO|OH...nice. Is he really so insecure that he had to manufacture memories for Sarah? I can just imagine what she'd do if she were to find out. He may or may not love her, but there is no doubting his wanting her.

Oh... nice update. *looks around* But you gotta make him love her right?? I mean, I guess you dont but after all that?

I guess I really do like where your going with this and I can't wait for another update.

Kittenn

Nice start! Just so you know though change your "than" to "then." There are two that are used improperly =) Good job!

Ooh...I love it... ::drools:: Your Jareth is so DELICIOUSLY evil. And I wonder what you are implying with the title "The Goblin Kings WOMEN". Please don't stop now!

I like how it starts out and can be very shur that whatever you do with this, it will be an enjoyeble and interesting read!
Please update as soon as you can!!!!