rate_review Reviews

Ch.1 The Blood Remembers (I figured this would be a good way to keep you form getting confused about which review goes with which chapter.)

Nice first chapter.I think it could use a little more detail here and there, but that's all (Aside from the whole "Death Eater" really being "Death Dealer" thing, but I can see other reviewers already told you about that). I think this has the makings of a really good story, I'm looking forward to the next chapter, and please don't take my critiques as flames. I only mean them in a helpful way.

love the story!! next chapter please!! =)

Alright, the main part of the story is very good. I need to say that, but before I hand out any more compliments, you have to add a couple more chapters. Also, you ended that chapter kind of abruptly. You had gone into detail for the rest of the chapter, but then it just stopped in one sentence. Describe it just a little more.
Cheers,

Scott

theres only one irk i have with this story. They are Death Dealers, not Death Eaters ;)

While the basis of the story is good and the plot is sound, there are some nagging little details that make the story sound as though you wrote it for another fan base. For instance, in your summary, you call it "Everworld" instead of "Underworld" as it should be. Also, Selene was not a 'death eater' (that's from Harry Potter); she was a 'death dealer.'

Don't think of this as a flame, because I did enjoy the general story. However, it's the little details that really make a story and some of yours are distracting.

Not bad but it could use some work. Try paying a little more attention to detail, and extending the scenes. The reader will like this a lot more if their pleasure is mounting over time, instead of just shoving it in there faces and making it end so soon. :)

That's my two cents.