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August 27, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 13-15
Yay I’m back and I finally had some time to continue with your story. I have to tell you, I really had difficulty stopping this time. This story is just so action packed and intriguing, I absolutely love it!
So first off, we start out seeing Al’brk’vix licking his wounds. He really is quite the chump isn’t he? He’s such a hypocrite, deeming the proper behavior for a warrior, when he himself is a coward and a rapist. It’s amazing that he thinks of himself so superior. It will be his undoing I’m sure. It does make me nervous though that he is stalking Cass.
Cach is about as bad too, with an ego as big as Alaska. I’m wondering now what he is planning to do with Burns. Maybe if were lucky, they’ll torture him a bit.
Running Wolf seems to be one of the few good guys, bringing information to Cass about Cach. It would be just like Cach to use her grief against her when she’s down. I absolutely loved the fact that she threw hot coffee in his face.
I think you are doing a wonderful job as well bringing Vek’rin’ka and Cass together slowly. Not to mention, you really do pay attention to the little things like Cass not being able to pronounce his name and Vek’rin’ka losing his voice trying to speak English. It’s those little details that make your story just come alive. Vek’rin’ka really is good for Cass in so many ways, not letting her wallow too much in her grief.
The end was really exciting, and satisfying as well, with Vek’rin’ka being his badass self, eliminating some of the members of Cach’s team. Vek’rin’ka’s probably right though about Cass not being too comfortable with seeing his trophy case. I keep wondering if he has an Alien skull in his trophy case, just like in the movie. And I am glad they are able to talk easier with the translator.
Great Job! Really this story is superfluous!!
Yay I’m back and I finally had some time to continue with your story. I have to tell you, I really had difficulty stopping this time. This story is just so action packed and intriguing, I absolutely love it!
So first off, we start out seeing Al’brk’vix licking his wounds. He really is quite the chump isn’t he? He’s such a hypocrite, deeming the proper behavior for a warrior, when he himself is a coward and a rapist. It’s amazing that he thinks of himself so superior. It will be his undoing I’m sure. It does make me nervous though that he is stalking Cass.
Cach is about as bad too, with an ego as big as Alaska. I’m wondering now what he is planning to do with Burns. Maybe if were lucky, they’ll torture him a bit.
Running Wolf seems to be one of the few good guys, bringing information to Cass about Cach. It would be just like Cach to use her grief against her when she’s down. I absolutely loved the fact that she threw hot coffee in his face.
I think you are doing a wonderful job as well bringing Vek’rin’ka and Cass together slowly. Not to mention, you really do pay attention to the little things like Cass not being able to pronounce his name and Vek’rin’ka losing his voice trying to speak English. It’s those little details that make your story just come alive. Vek’rin’ka really is good for Cass in so many ways, not letting her wallow too much in her grief.
The end was really exciting, and satisfying as well, with Vek’rin’ka being his badass self, eliminating some of the members of Cach’s team. Vek’rin’ka’s probably right though about Cass not being too comfortable with seeing his trophy case. I keep wondering if he has an Alien skull in his trophy case, just like in the movie. And I am glad they are able to talk easier with the translator.
Great Job! Really this story is superfluous!!
schedule
August 23, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 11-12
You know I think you’ve handled Cass’ grief extremely well. You can just feel her pain, numbness and shock. You even go through the horrible physical effects that her grief is putting her through with the vomiting and dizziness. I feel so sorry for her. She has lost everything that she ever held dear. I’m sure this wasn’t easy to write. It’s so intense and there is so much raw emotion in it. You must have been exhausted when you were through.
That was a nice touch the way you ended chapter 11 with Cass recalling the story of the invisible man.
I also loved the way you brought Vek’rin’ka and Cass together. Really it was beautifully done. You brought them together so slowly and gracefully, nothing rushed or out of beat. It was great the way you showed what was going through both of their minds -- Cass’ fear and Vek’rin’ka impatience. I was riveted. Then Cass falls asleep in Vek’rin’ka arms – very nice!
Excellent Chapter!!!
You know I think you’ve handled Cass’ grief extremely well. You can just feel her pain, numbness and shock. You even go through the horrible physical effects that her grief is putting her through with the vomiting and dizziness. I feel so sorry for her. She has lost everything that she ever held dear. I’m sure this wasn’t easy to write. It’s so intense and there is so much raw emotion in it. You must have been exhausted when you were through.
That was a nice touch the way you ended chapter 11 with Cass recalling the story of the invisible man.
I also loved the way you brought Vek’rin’ka and Cass together. Really it was beautifully done. You brought them together so slowly and gracefully, nothing rushed or out of beat. It was great the way you showed what was going through both of their minds -- Cass’ fear and Vek’rin’ka impatience. I was riveted. Then Cass falls asleep in Vek’rin’ka arms – very nice!
Excellent Chapter!!!
schedule
August 21, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 10
Well this chapter begins as one of reflection, with everyone recuperating from the horror that’s already happened. Again I am saddened that Cass’s partner was killed.
As always I love to read Vek’rin’ka’s observations. It’s so intriguing to see the world through his eyes. You know I finally watched “Predator 2” last night and I had to laugh. Because of your story, I was rooting for the Predator the whole way through. lol
I couldn’t help it. I kept thinking about Vek’rin’ka.
Of course you are unable to keep things slow for long. (That’s a good thing!) And now Cass is racing out the door to her home, Vek’rin’ka accompanying her.
OH MY GOD! I am stunned!!! I just read what happened and I feel horrible. In a million years I would never have expected that. I guess I am too used to movies where everyone turns out to be okay. You’ve left me numb and gasping. It’s too awful! At least Cass is not alone, she got Vek’rin’ka. Of course she doesn’t know that yet.
And Cach is starting to piss me off, I hope someone kicks him in the nuts. And Burns -- he better be going down! I want that man to bleed!!! You’ve got me all rowed up now!
Well this chapter begins as one of reflection, with everyone recuperating from the horror that’s already happened. Again I am saddened that Cass’s partner was killed.
As always I love to read Vek’rin’ka’s observations. It’s so intriguing to see the world through his eyes. You know I finally watched “Predator 2” last night and I had to laugh. Because of your story, I was rooting for the Predator the whole way through. lol
I couldn’t help it. I kept thinking about Vek’rin’ka.
Of course you are unable to keep things slow for long. (That’s a good thing!) And now Cass is racing out the door to her home, Vek’rin’ka accompanying her.
OH MY GOD! I am stunned!!! I just read what happened and I feel horrible. In a million years I would never have expected that. I guess I am too used to movies where everyone turns out to be okay. You’ve left me numb and gasping. It’s too awful! At least Cass is not alone, she got Vek’rin’ka. Of course she doesn’t know that yet.
And Cach is starting to piss me off, I hope someone kicks him in the nuts. And Burns -- he better be going down! I want that man to bleed!!! You’ve got me all rowed up now!
schedule
August 18, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 8-9
Hey thanks for bringing chapter 8 back! I’m delighted I can continue!
You know I think I’m falling for Vek’rin’ka. You can stay in his point of view as long as you want. It makes me feel closer to him. :D
And I’m glad he’s watching over Cass, protecting her you might say. I’m afraid what Al’brk’vix might do to her, if he gets a hold of her.
Somehow I don’t think Cass will be taking that mandatory vacation. She seems like a very determined woman.
It was interesting to see more of Vek’rin’ka world. The counsel almost sounds like the inquisition with all their questioning. I feel for Vek’rin’ka --poor guy. They shouldn’t nit-pick him when he’s the one risking his neck. I guess that’s something the oomans have in common with the Yautjas.
Anyway, another wonderful couple of chapters!
By the way, are you familiar with the work of Luis Royo? He’s an amazing fantasy artist. Indeed as an Art student I just drool over his work. Your story makes me think of several of his pictures. Here, check out this website and you’ll see why.
http://luis.royo.free.fr/galeries/secrets/
Hey thanks for bringing chapter 8 back! I’m delighted I can continue!
You know I think I’m falling for Vek’rin’ka. You can stay in his point of view as long as you want. It makes me feel closer to him. :D
And I’m glad he’s watching over Cass, protecting her you might say. I’m afraid what Al’brk’vix might do to her, if he gets a hold of her.
Somehow I don’t think Cass will be taking that mandatory vacation. She seems like a very determined woman.
It was interesting to see more of Vek’rin’ka world. The counsel almost sounds like the inquisition with all their questioning. I feel for Vek’rin’ka --poor guy. They shouldn’t nit-pick him when he’s the one risking his neck. I guess that’s something the oomans have in common with the Yautjas.
Anyway, another wonderful couple of chapters!
By the way, are you familiar with the work of Luis Royo? He’s an amazing fantasy artist. Indeed as an Art student I just drool over his work. Your story makes me think of several of his pictures. Here, check out this website and you’ll see why.
http://luis.royo.free.fr/galeries/secrets/
schedule
August 17, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Hi Prairiefire,
I’m missing chapter 8. You actually have two chapter 9’s posted. You wouldn’t still happen to have chapter 8 would you? I would love to read it. I hate to move on without it. I feel like I'm skipping ahead otherwise. Thanks a bunch. :D
I’m missing chapter 8. You actually have two chapter 9’s posted. You wouldn’t still happen to have chapter 8 would you? I would love to read it. I hate to move on without it. I feel like I'm skipping ahead otherwise. Thanks a bunch. :D
schedule
August 16, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 7
That was really sad that Cass lost her partner. Now more than ever, I want to see Burns go down! He’s so vile, I really loath him, indeed much more than Al’brk’vix. I guess it’s because Al’brk’vix is such a coward. “Run away… run away!” lol
I get the feeling though, you will definitely take care of both of them in good time.
That’s interesting about Cass’ history. I get the feeling she had lived a really hard life. She’s quite the gritty heroine isn’t she?
Excellent fight scene at the end! Here it started with Al’brk’vix taunting Vek’rin’ka with the loss of his ship. So Vek’rin’ka just takes his. That’s great! I also loved “He would wait until Al’brk’vix skull was hanging in his trophy case.” I guess I know what’s going to happen to Al’brk’vix now! lol
Anyway, great chapter! I’ll be back tomorrow. You really don’t know how much I want to keep reading, but I can’t…I’ll be up all night. I must savor it. :D
That was really sad that Cass lost her partner. Now more than ever, I want to see Burns go down! He’s so vile, I really loath him, indeed much more than Al’brk’vix. I guess it’s because Al’brk’vix is such a coward. “Run away… run away!” lol
I get the feeling though, you will definitely take care of both of them in good time.
That’s interesting about Cass’ history. I get the feeling she had lived a really hard life. She’s quite the gritty heroine isn’t she?
Excellent fight scene at the end! Here it started with Al’brk’vix taunting Vek’rin’ka with the loss of his ship. So Vek’rin’ka just takes his. That’s great! I also loved “He would wait until Al’brk’vix skull was hanging in his trophy case.” I guess I know what’s going to happen to Al’brk’vix now! lol
Anyway, great chapter! I’ll be back tomorrow. You really don’t know how much I want to keep reading, but I can’t…I’ll be up all night. I must savor it. :D
schedule
August 15, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 5-6
Now you see, I was only going to read chapter 5, but since you left such a cliffhanger I just had to continue to chapter 6.
Already I’m kind of sweet on Vek’rin’ka because he is just so honorable. I can’t get a good vision of what he looks like thought. I haven’t seen the original Predator since I was a kid and “Predator 2 I’ve never seen at all. Consequently, I’ve decided to check that movie out.
“Teeming with life,” – how funny! Last year, my geology teacher used to say that all the time. I always worry that’s what going to happen to my kitchen if I leave dirty dishes sitting in the sink too long. lol
Wrk’va’s death was really well done. I felt sorry for him, and I could feel his regret for his poor choices in life. It was moving. You made Wrk’va a sympathic character so effortlessly in just a few lines.
I’m so relieved Kristen is okay. Yay! Burns really is the scum of the Earth. It’s too bad Vek’rin’ka didn’t kill him.
Anyway, great chapters! I’m just so impressed with your story!!
Now you see, I was only going to read chapter 5, but since you left such a cliffhanger I just had to continue to chapter 6.
Already I’m kind of sweet on Vek’rin’ka because he is just so honorable. I can’t get a good vision of what he looks like thought. I haven’t seen the original Predator since I was a kid and “Predator 2 I’ve never seen at all. Consequently, I’ve decided to check that movie out.
“Teeming with life,” – how funny! Last year, my geology teacher used to say that all the time. I always worry that’s what going to happen to my kitchen if I leave dirty dishes sitting in the sink too long. lol
Wrk’va’s death was really well done. I felt sorry for him, and I could feel his regret for his poor choices in life. It was moving. You made Wrk’va a sympathic character so effortlessly in just a few lines.
I’m so relieved Kristen is okay. Yay! Burns really is the scum of the Earth. It’s too bad Vek’rin’ka didn’t kill him.
Anyway, great chapters! I’m just so impressed with your story!!
schedule
August 14, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 4
Again, I can’t say enough how much I love your story! It’s awesome really!
Let me explain: I had this one story that I posted on another site, and whenever I could leave a double cliffhanger, I’d give myself a pat on the back. And if I could leave a triple cliffhanger, well then I was really happy. Of course now I can’t do that since I’m writing my story in 3rd person omniscient, but what my point is, you seem to leave double cliff hangers all the time, and in chapter 4 you left a triple. Wow! Not to mention, we’re dealing with three assholes now instead of just two, because Cach is a butthead ( I hope Vek’rin’ka scares the poop out of him) lol
Anyway, you are so good girl, really! Give yourself a pat on the back! This story is just bristling with action! It has so many connecting plot lines and stories and I’m only in chapter 4. Really Excellent writing!!! I’ve decided to savior it and read it slow because it doesn’t look like you’ve started another story, althoughI do plan to check out “U'sl-kwe” when I am done.
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Typo: “Sir, I think we have a rouge.” I think you meant rogue, right?
Again, I can’t say enough how much I love your story! It’s awesome really!
Let me explain: I had this one story that I posted on another site, and whenever I could leave a double cliffhanger, I’d give myself a pat on the back. And if I could leave a triple cliffhanger, well then I was really happy. Of course now I can’t do that since I’m writing my story in 3rd person omniscient, but what my point is, you seem to leave double cliff hangers all the time, and in chapter 4 you left a triple. Wow! Not to mention, we’re dealing with three assholes now instead of just two, because Cach is a butthead ( I hope Vek’rin’ka scares the poop out of him) lol
Anyway, you are so good girl, really! Give yourself a pat on the back! This story is just bristling with action! It has so many connecting plot lines and stories and I’m only in chapter 4. Really Excellent writing!!! I’ve decided to savior it and read it slow because it doesn’t look like you’ve started another story, althoughI do plan to check out “U'sl-kwe” when I am done.
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Typo: “Sir, I think we have a rouge.” I think you meant rogue, right?
schedule
August 13, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 2 - 3
“It was the natural order of things for females to be in charge. They were smarter than males after all, and the future of any species.” I love it!
As always, I think you handle the action scenes extremely well. This story is so fast paced!!
It’s actually quite fascinating to see our world through Vek’rin’ka’s eyes. I’m really quite intrigued with him. Now, with the way you started, with him watching over Cass like a guardian angle, I want a relationship to develop between him and Cass. Yet I can’t help but wonder what it will be like, them both being two different species. It really is quite a provocative idea. I may have to start reading other Predator stories as well, just because of that intriguing premise.
It’s great that way you have two stories running together at the same time and they’re both so interesting, with two equally despicable villains. I’m really hoping that Cass gets to the little girl in time, and I can’t wait to see how Vek’rin’ka will play a part in this.
Excellent writing, really! I will most definitely be back tomorrow to continue!
“It was the natural order of things for females to be in charge. They were smarter than males after all, and the future of any species.” I love it!
As always, I think you handle the action scenes extremely well. This story is so fast paced!!
It’s actually quite fascinating to see our world through Vek’rin’ka’s eyes. I’m really quite intrigued with him. Now, with the way you started, with him watching over Cass like a guardian angle, I want a relationship to develop between him and Cass. Yet I can’t help but wonder what it will be like, them both being two different species. It really is quite a provocative idea. I may have to start reading other Predator stories as well, just because of that intriguing premise.
It’s great that way you have two stories running together at the same time and they’re both so interesting, with two equally despicable villains. I’m really hoping that Cass gets to the little girl in time, and I can’t wait to see how Vek’rin’ka will play a part in this.
Excellent writing, really! I will most definitely be back tomorrow to continue!
schedule
August 12, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 1
Hi there!
You were so nice to leave me my hundredth review that I thought I would come over here and check out some of your stories before I went to bed. Little did I know that you would be such an incredible writer! Wow! I have only read one chapter and already I’m completely hooked. I’m actually very annoyed I have to get up so early tomorrow because I want to read more.
You have created quite the villain with Al’brk’vix, not to mention that creepy guy in the park. You write so dark and gritty, which I like very much and you do such a good job of getting into the minds of your characters. I almost cringe when I am there.
I also think you write amazing action scenes. That fight scene with Al’brk’vix and Esh’ta was exciting! I can’t believe how I was drawn into it immediately, wanting Esh’ta to win, feeling a sense of loss when it didn’t turn out the way I had hoped.
It sounds like Cass is going to be a mean and touch heroine and I’m already rooting for her already. Great job and excellent writing! Believe me, I will be back tomorrow to read more!!!
Hi there!
You were so nice to leave me my hundredth review that I thought I would come over here and check out some of your stories before I went to bed. Little did I know that you would be such an incredible writer! Wow! I have only read one chapter and already I’m completely hooked. I’m actually very annoyed I have to get up so early tomorrow because I want to read more.
You have created quite the villain with Al’brk’vix, not to mention that creepy guy in the park. You write so dark and gritty, which I like very much and you do such a good job of getting into the minds of your characters. I almost cringe when I am there.
I also think you write amazing action scenes. That fight scene with Al’brk’vix and Esh’ta was exciting! I can’t believe how I was drawn into it immediately, wanting Esh’ta to win, feeling a sense of loss when it didn’t turn out the way I had hoped.
It sounds like Cass is going to be a mean and touch heroine and I’m already rooting for her already. Great job and excellent writing! Believe me, I will be back tomorrow to read more!!!