rate_review Reviews

e mail me when you have more it's super good can't wait
to see what happens next!!!
10/10

You have a Mary-Sue. Sorry, but that's what she is. It's an especially pitiable case because your grammar, spelling, and punctuation are pretty decent (although your tense could use some work). The plot's an old one, but I hope you do something a little more original. We're only on the second chapter, after all.

Loved it! Loved it! Loved it! Have I mentioned how much I love this story?! lmao like I can't even described what's made me fall in love with this story! Anyways, that bit at the end of chapter 2 BETTER be CONTINUED FULLY in chapter 3!!!

XOX J

you've got a very interesting plot going on. just have to "keep a sharp eye" on which tense you're using. And maybe do a little transition when you're switching between first person and third. Again I like the plot there's a lot that can be done with the story that you've set up and the background you've given your star character.

yours truly,
anna

The plot's intriguing, but beware run-on sentences and redundancies. Look forward to more.