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rate_review Reviews

for The Viper's bite

by Malestorm

person Anon
schedule March 23, 2013 at 12:00 AM
loved this story is it finished can not get enough of it
schedule January 8, 2012 at 12:00 AM
I hope you will update this someday!!! Its such a wonderful story, fantastically written and I hope to find out what happens next!!
person jectex57
schedule September 4, 2011 at 12:00 AM
I hope that you are going to finish this. It would be a shame if you didn't. I did notice some mistakes, but they did not detract from the story. Please let me know if you do update this.
person beliefinkakashi
schedule December 30, 2010 at 12:00 AM
That was awesome! I really enjoyed reading it. I loved how the story evolved... Lmao that the Hard Flesh had a thing for her...
I loved reading your work, hope to read more of it.
Good luck!
person Sadoko
schedule October 20, 2010 at 12:00 AM

I liked the idea of a human/Yautja pairing. I also liked the idea of The Viper feeling sour after Set'ra leaving him.

However, this fiction is too un-Yautja like. I was really enjoying it with its good beginnings and potential, however, it's just too randomly sexual and shallow male/female-oriented in a un-Yautja sense.

Firstly, Yautjas are visceral/bodily beings thus I liked it that Paula attracted Ky-an but I mean Yautjas are more than superficial beings attracted to the opposite sex not only for their bodies. In fact Yautja females are hunters too and are equally agressive as the males. Their portrayal here comes off a bit one-dimensional. I mean the only person here who got an attitude is Set'ra and I don't think it's good 'cause Set'ra is a bitch.

Secondly, Ky'an acts too much like a domineering human male at times and Paula as an ignorant person and I believe that their dynamic is supposed to be too strong for that. Also, I know this is erotica so Paula is beautiful and sexy but isn't there any other reason Ky'an likes her? I mean Yautjas generally do choose mates accordingly to the best possible person. And Set'ra's "betrayal" seems less than the General - in fact she did have a good reason , Ky'an is never around but the General did have sex with her out of intoxication so I expected Ky'an to go berserk on his ass too. The general's excuse of how Set'ra is stupid because she left Ky'an when all he wanted was her to be at home and wait for him seemed really odd because in one way that negates Set'ra's bitchiness - many men and women feel their partners ignore them and we support their choice to leave their partners because of that. So, Set'ra is being too reasonable for her backstabbing nature. Also the General is hitting on Mya which is quite odd I mean I have no problem with their age gaps but Mya sounds kind of inexperienced so I wondered what both these characters think.


Overall I think this story has a lot of potential so I am reading it. I hope that Paula and Ky'an gain more maturity as a couple.
person maialia
schedule February 4, 2010 at 12:00 AM
So are you gonna finish this story? I noticed that it's been quite a couple of years since this story is written but, this is a good one. Exactly my style and the kind I like to read. Never thought of reading Predator stories until I read this one. I thought it was pretty good and did a little browsing but, not a lot of good ones out there. I hope you'll finish this one!
person Bee
schedule December 8, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Bluflame, please for the love of your story, update! I just re-read the whole story again because I am in love with your story and everytime I come to chapter 12, I am sad because I am dying to know what happens next. Please don't tell me you have stopped writing this story because I will cry. It's almost the Christmas holidays how about giving your loyal readers a nice christmas present by updating your fantastic story!! I want to know if Paula is pregnant, will Grails mate with Mya, who are the three guys coming on the ship for Setra, will one of them try to take Paula away from Ky'an??? See I need an update! lol.
P.S. Your Ky'an is super delicious.
schedule August 19, 2009 at 12:00 AM
oh please, won't you post some more of this?
person Ruth
schedule March 9, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I'm truly enjoying 'the Viper's Bite'. I love your character Ky'an!
person ginstar3
schedule March 6, 2009 at 12:00 AM
very well written, definitely on the top of my favorites list. can't wait for the next chapter, please hurry