AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for The Ripple of a Stone

by vanillalace

person Cara
schedule October 23, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Really? Which island? I'm on oahu.
Christmas time isn't really a good season...it gets rainy and a wee bit cold (like 75 degrees omg it feels like the effing Artic lol)
Yaaaaaay chapter 21!!
Dhm'ni is so sweet. Can't wait to see how they grow closer.
Hilarious part when Nala says she thinks the Kainde amedha hunt is a good way of thining the herd. I laughed out loud when they tried the toothpaste. lol. I would love to be in a bath tub full of naked male yautjas. mmmmmmmm. God everyone says the yautja are well hung but like how many inches?
I'm curious.
Btw did I tell you I love your long chapters?
Only thing is you can separate the dialogue so it makes it a little easier to read. hopefully the next chapter will be coming soon. :)
-Cara
person aqaumum
schedule October 23, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Hmmm.... a whole bath full of Yautja.....- LOL
Why does Nanali get to have all the fun...I'm soooo jealous. hee hee
I'm looking forward to Dhm’Ni becoming closer to Nalani and I'm so glad that he feels so relaxed and comfortable with her
- even if he is a virgin - yum.
person aquamum
schedule October 23, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Oh I forgot - more tongue please - god I'm naughty.
person angelpred
schedule October 23, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Wow...this story is very beautiful!!!!!!Fantastic the scene in the baths....
I love Dhm'Ni...is very awesome!!!!!
You are very good to write!!!!!!!!!!!!
Please update soon!!!!
Oh I can't wait to see what happens next.!!!!!!!!
person Cara
schedule October 9, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Wow I've spent ....maybe three hours reading this whole story.
My eyes are tired. :(

1. I love Nalani. She is such an awesome character, very funny too. I wish I could kick ass like her. (btw I live in Hawai'i. Have you ever lived there?)
2. I love Dh'nmi. I prolly spelt that wrong. My favourite parts are when they talk and boy I really hope something happens between them...it's sweet how protective he is.
3. I love how all of your characters are different and original. Your writing is fresh and exciting. Much action too. I love it. Love the story. Great job.

Cheers on your 20th chappie. =) Amazingly your chapters are long, which is great because I hate short chapters. Take your time writing the 21st if it means you'll be writing as addictively great as you have been. Er, hope my sentences make sense. It's sorta late.
Anywayyyyyyy some gramatical errors but other than that I thoroughly enjoyed this story, so far. =)

-Cara
person Narranasa
schedule October 8, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I simply love this story. It's intriguing, gives good background to the characters, and is well written in general.

Just like your other story. :)
person Prairiefire
schedule October 8, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Way good.

Nala's right when she said no one needs to roar before each charge. If it didn't intimidate your opponent the first time, it's not going to work the second, third, fourth and so on. It will just show that you are immature and are going to get yourself killed sooner rather than later.

Sya, Sya, Sya-He is such an awesome father figure. Just the right amount of patience with the right amount of firmness to teach effectively.

Those implants sound horrible. I think I will stick with my theory of vacuum seals and hidden lacings/buckles.
person Prairiefire
schedule October 4, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I don't know what to say other than I want to know more. More. MORE! All those little details you kind of include, but then wrap in a shroud of mystery make this story intoxicatingly addictive.

I must say that I am relieved that Dhmn'Ni and Nala aren't at each other's throats as much any more. It really sucks when you hate your roommate.
person Prairiefire
schedule October 1, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Oh, that was too good. Playing with his mandible, hehe. What next, tugging on his hair?

Kombistick through the balls (well, damn close), the look on his face must have been priceless. And leaving him stuck to the wall was just the cherry on top.

Now we want an update. Where is part two? You can't leave us like this for long. Come on, update. Update. UPDATE!!!
person wilcat
schedule October 1, 2006 at 12:00 AM
hi just started reading predator stories and yours is one of the best i have read so far the only thing that is bothering me is that the more we get to know nala the more un human and fucked up she seems to be i am not saying that she should be cuddeling a bunny or anything but cutting someone into pieces and takng pleasure from it no matter the reason makes her into nothing more than a pshyco

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