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January 16, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Nalani,
A MOST EXCELLENT CHAPTER - I was as nervous as hell waiting for the final outcome - what a cliffhanger !!!!!!!!!!!!
Not flaming here - but there are alot of spelling and grammar errors in this chapter that made it quite hard to read.
eg hairs should be heirs, every instead of everyone etc. I had to re read many sentences to make sense of them.
I am absolutley addicted to this story - I love all the twists and turns that happen to your wonderful characters and I am chomping at the bit to read what happens next - fantastic.
A MOST EXCELLENT CHAPTER - I was as nervous as hell waiting for the final outcome - what a cliffhanger !!!!!!!!!!!!
Not flaming here - but there are alot of spelling and grammar errors in this chapter that made it quite hard to read.
eg hairs should be heirs, every instead of everyone etc. I had to re read many sentences to make sense of them.
I am absolutley addicted to this story - I love all the twists and turns that happen to your wonderful characters and I am chomping at the bit to read what happens next - fantastic.
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January 16, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I've waited so long for a udpated that I thought i would go crazy. love this story more soon please.
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January 11, 2007 at 12:00 AM
this is a really really good story im not kidding. i wasnt really into predator stories until i started reading this one! i cant wait for the next chapter!
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January 2, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I like this story and I have been reading as you post. I say that to say post again
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January 1, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Another excellent chapter - cool.
I love you story sp muuch - I love the witty repartee between your characters,
I love you vivid discription of her monthly courses - so much fun to see a male upset about her pain.
I love you story sp muuch - I love the witty repartee between your characters,
I love you vivid discription of her monthly courses - so much fun to see a male upset about her pain.
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December 31, 2006 at 12:00 AM
MERRY BELATED CHRISTMAS AND SUCH. And Happy New Years Eve!!
I hope it's a good one. :)
Was so excited to see you had updated both of your stories. You're really on top of your game, huh? :p
Awesome chapter. I just love the scenes between Dom and Nalani. This is the best story in the Predator section by far [Human Hunter 1 and 2 were my favourite but they're done now].
I've already given my criticism on the grammar so for this review there's nothing I can suggest or think of that you could change. I really really love this story. I hope the Elders will accept Nala, but then again I never know what you have up your sleeve! Whatever happens I'm still going to devour this story like cake lol.
Best wishes for 2007,
Cara
I hope it's a good one. :)
Was so excited to see you had updated both of your stories. You're really on top of your game, huh? :p
Awesome chapter. I just love the scenes between Dom and Nalani. This is the best story in the Predator section by far [Human Hunter 1 and 2 were my favourite but they're done now].
I've already given my criticism on the grammar so for this review there's nothing I can suggest or think of that you could change. I really really love this story. I hope the Elders will accept Nala, but then again I never know what you have up your sleeve! Whatever happens I'm still going to devour this story like cake lol.
Best wishes for 2007,
Cara
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December 30, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Wow, what a treat, both of your stories updated one day after another. A nice way to bring in the New Year indeed. :)
Wow, some really great scenes in this one, and the writing continues to be top notch. The continuing complicated relationship between Dhm'Ni and Nala just keeps going. Dyne getting beat down was awesome, and Th'rik getting his ass handed to him (literaly) was also priceless.
Your descriptive writing really came through at the end though, with Nala's "uber-period" :D, you got a real sense of the pain she was going through. Can't wait for next chapter as usual, and seeing how the Elders and Patriarch greet Nala.
Wow, some really great scenes in this one, and the writing continues to be top notch. The continuing complicated relationship between Dhm'Ni and Nala just keeps going. Dyne getting beat down was awesome, and Th'rik getting his ass handed to him (literaly) was also priceless.
Your descriptive writing really came through at the end though, with Nala's "uber-period" :D, you got a real sense of the pain she was going through. Can't wait for next chapter as usual, and seeing how the Elders and Patriarch greet Nala.
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December 30, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I enjoy this story. Even though I was away for a while I could get right back into it with ease. So all that is left is for you to bring ont he next chapter Pronto ( or when you can)
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December 14, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Agggh I didn't review the last chapter cuz I was checking AFF real quick, so I'll make up for it in this review-
As always, you are such a brilliant writer. You combine unique, realistic characters in a very original setting with a nail biting plot (all those cliffhangers!!) and can't forget your humour! I love how the whole story isn't so serious, you keep the light things and heavy things balanced, really amazing. The only thing that keeps this story from being perfect (and it is so much, believe me!) are the typos. You have alot of typos, and I really hate to be a grammar freak but it will really help because they distract me. Do you have a beta or something?
I can't believe the C'jit chappie's ending...wow that little bit of erotica really got me going..dayummm. Haha I do hope you continue with their relationship, because I know Dom (just calling him that, it's easier) is jealous of Dy'ot'teka (forgive me spelling :(). I think there will be alot of UST following this chapter between Dom and Nala..and rivalry between Dom and Dy'Oatie.
Ehhh I have not yet read the background story but I promise I willlllll. I dunno why, I guess I've been saving it.
Man things are getting so much juicier!! This story rocks EM :) :)
Your loyal fan,
Cara
As always, you are such a brilliant writer. You combine unique, realistic characters in a very original setting with a nail biting plot (all those cliffhangers!!) and can't forget your humour! I love how the whole story isn't so serious, you keep the light things and heavy things balanced, really amazing. The only thing that keeps this story from being perfect (and it is so much, believe me!) are the typos. You have alot of typos, and I really hate to be a grammar freak but it will really help because they distract me. Do you have a beta or something?
I can't believe the C'jit chappie's ending...wow that little bit of erotica really got me going..dayummm. Haha I do hope you continue with their relationship, because I know Dom (just calling him that, it's easier) is jealous of Dy'ot'teka (forgive me spelling :(). I think there will be alot of UST following this chapter between Dom and Nala..and rivalry between Dom and Dy'Oatie.
Ehhh I have not yet read the background story but I promise I willlllll. I dunno why, I guess I've been saving it.
Man things are getting so much juicier!! This story rocks EM :) :)
Your loyal fan,
Cara
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December 14, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Ohp forgot to put in my fav parts:
The last erotic scene between Dom and Nala
When Nala said she thinks the hunts are a way of keeping the population balanced (or something)
When she battled the Queen
When she first met Lord K and the drama that sort of followed between them
The fight between her and the guy who insulted Allen (forget who)
I'm sure there are more great scenes but I just can't remember right now.
-C
The last erotic scene between Dom and Nala
When Nala said she thinks the hunts are a way of keeping the population balanced (or something)
When she battled the Queen
When she first met Lord K and the drama that sort of followed between them
The fight between her and the guy who insulted Allen (forget who)
I'm sure there are more great scenes but I just can't remember right now.
-C