rate_review Reviews

Great!

I love this story, truly love it! Especially the first chapter when Jack is being so sweet and nic to Lizzie; giving her hugs, wiping her tears, waiting till shes ready. It was so great to read! Thanks!
chelsea x

I think that for a first fic this is quite a good effort, and I can see improvement from the first chapter. Please don't misunderstand me. The first chapter was good, but the second chapter was better. The first chapter had some minor grammatical mistakes, and it also seem to be more about stating what was occurring between Jack and Lizzie rather than feeling. The second chapter had more feeling and less telling. It also had more description and felt less rushed than the first chapter. I also didn't notice any glaring spelling or grammatical errors. I know a lot of people could care less about spelling errors, but I find too many of them disrupt the flow of the story. A couple are bound to happen in any fic (We are only human after all), but when they are repeated in every paragraph, it becomes distracting. You are a writer that seems to realize this and keeps these mistakes to a minimum. This reader thanks you for that. Additionally, I like the way that you express Lizzie's thoughts. That is my favorite part of the fic (Well, that and Jack's presence--I am a woman after all--heehee). Now, I’ll move back to Lizzie's thoughts before I get too distracted by a certain pirate captain (snicker). The way you portray them is written in a manner very similar to the way that a person actually thinks. They have a disjointed and immediate feel to them as if they just popped in her head. That is precisely how people really think too. I feel this adds a unique and realistic quality to your fic. I like the metaphor you used to show how a sunrise is not only the beginning of a new day, but it is also a new beginning for Lizzie as well. That was a nice touch. I look forward to more chapters in this story or a whole new story from you. You have marvelous potential as a fanfic writer. Please continue writing.

That was a nice ending. Can't wait to read what you have planned next!

Wonderful! Absolutely wonderful! I hope you will try your hand at another story.

That was beautiful and for a first fic, very well written.

Wow, that last chapter was really great!

I have fallen in love with your writing. I've always enjoyed reading the character POV's, but you make Lizzie Lizzie. I loved how she is coming out of her shell and is unafraid to experience new things, it's wonderful. Great job still, this being your first fanfic and all, I can not wait for the next chapter!!!

For a first fic, that wasn't bad! You should definitely write more! (sorry that my spelling is bad. I'm sorta tired.)

That was hot!!..loved it. Cant wait for the next chapter..
Thanks