rate_review Reviews

Okay, there is entirely too much cursing. Fuck is being overly abused, as well as others. Cursing in moderation is fine, or if someone is REALLY angry, but you took it too far. But other than that, great story. The grammar could use some brushing up on, but it's not appalling. I look forward to reading more....hopefully with less 'kill, kill, kill; fuck you, fuck you, fuck you'.

~ Shay

ps - This is constructive criticism, not a Flame! =D

Me again. Yeah, reading your Author's Notes have been thoroughly displeasing by far. Screaming at your readers for 5 or 10 reviews before promising an update is immature and very unethical as an aspiring authoress. Also, leaving A/N's in the middle of the story interrupts the flow and is extremely irritating.

I don't understand some stuff going on because it's moving way too fast. I would have advised you to slow it down a bit so the slow people like me could catch up, lol. It makes no sense . . . you are a pretty damn good writer, yet your Author's Notes reflect immaturity from a child. It makes me wonder if you were---and even are---old enough to be on this site. One can tell a lot about a person by how they speak/write.

I'm annoyed, yet I do see hope for this story; if you put forth the effort to vastly improve it in numerous areas. Good luck and do improve!

~ Shay

I think I read this one on fanfiction I really like this story very good on the descriptions keep going