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December 6, 2011 at 12:00 AM
i like so far.
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December 3, 2011 at 12:00 AM
0_0 Damn, girl did that on purpose....she a true G
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November 8, 2011 at 12:00 AM
excellent story hope you keep going really like this story keep up the good work
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November 8, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Very enjoyable chapter. Don't find many voyeur Yautja!
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October 15, 2011 at 12:00 AM
I like your story very much and look forward to reading more of it. The details are nicely written and I like the interaction between your characters.
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September 26, 2011 at 12:00 AM
OK you got my attention. Update soon!
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September 17, 2011 at 12:00 AM
And the plot thickens!!! To think he's intriguEd by his adopted sister!! Thanks for making the paragraph shorter. :) These old eyes aren't getting any younger!! I migh not be faithfully reviewing your story for the next 2 months or so but I hope that you won't get discouraged and stop writing. I hope to see where this plot will lead to! Keep up the good work!
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September 11, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Werry interesting and well written. Hope you will update soon. ^_^
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September 5, 2011 at 12:00 AM
It's a good start to your story. I'd like to see how it progresses.
On a side note, the paragraphs are kind of long. To me, they blur together. There is nothing wrong with the content but perhaps making smaller paragraphs out of the longer ones would help these old eyes. :)
On a side note, the paragraphs are kind of long. To me, they blur together. There is nothing wrong with the content but perhaps making smaller paragraphs out of the longer ones would help these old eyes. :)
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September 5, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Hey, that was a really good start!
I cannot wait for his response, she's his sister! muhahahahaha!
hope to read more!
good luck
I cannot wait for his response, she's his sister! muhahahahaha!
hope to read more!
good luck