schedule
January 31, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Interesting story but Jareth is too OOC. He seems too modern (use of American slang, for example). He acts like any other guy in this story not like a Goblin King.
schedule
August 24, 2012 at 12:00 AM
My first impression is: it's just too easy & simple!
Sarah gets what she wants - and gets away with it.. one wish - and Jareth is at her feet! She regretted rejecting him & leaving the Underground as well as choosing the reality..
Jareth proposes and Sarah is dying to run away from her family - and reality - to the Underground?..
And Jareth himself - a typical boyfriend.. a transer student who helps a girl with her homework.. attentive, prptective, gentle if a bit sarcastic and haughty - but too docile and compliant for my liking. Where's the Jareth, the King?..
As for me, this is a typical fairytale too good to be true. Too straightforward, simplistic and easy.
Please mind your grammar and spelling - lots of mistakes!
Good luck with your writing. Hope Sarah wont't regret coming back.
Sarah gets what she wants - and gets away with it.. one wish - and Jareth is at her feet! She regretted rejecting him & leaving the Underground as well as choosing the reality..
Jareth proposes and Sarah is dying to run away from her family - and reality - to the Underground?..
And Jareth himself - a typical boyfriend.. a transer student who helps a girl with her homework.. attentive, prptective, gentle if a bit sarcastic and haughty - but too docile and compliant for my liking. Where's the Jareth, the King?..
As for me, this is a typical fairytale too good to be true. Too straightforward, simplistic and easy.
Please mind your grammar and spelling - lots of mistakes!
Good luck with your writing. Hope Sarah wont't regret coming back.