I don’t know where to start. I thought ‘The Hinger Games’ we’re rife with opportunities to incorporate some sexual activity, and making sex part of the Games was an obvious way to go. That said, this was trite, banal, uninspired, flat, and unappealing. There was nothing exciting or interesting.
Other than survival, why would the tributes comply? They are all going into the games knowing that all but one of them is going to die, so a death threat isn’t going to coerce anybody. Maybe a little characters POV would help? (Well, if I’m going to die anyway, I don’t want to die a virgin?).
The author has studiously avoided any dialogue, either between characters or internal. Just mechanical, passionless sex. Why? What characters are thinking and how they interact (other than just engaging in mandated, mechanical sex acts) can give us some insight, presumably new, into how and why a character behaves the way they do.
There were almost no descriptions that appealed to the readers senses! How big was the crowd? The stage? How noisy was it? How did the crowd react as it was happening? Applause? Boos? Catcalls? How bold or embarrassed were the tributes? Did anybody blush? Did anybody cry? Did nobody beg to be spared? Did any of the tributes comfort each other?
This idea had the potential to be a great and exciting adult read. Instead, it’s as disappointing a piece of fan fiction as any I’ve read.
I think you could try to describe the scenes better. Even though they each had different tasks, the sex was nearly the same.
Neato idea, though!