rate_review Reviews

It's funny - the way you describe your character's body is what was considered tremendously gorgeous during that time period. The slender, super-model look Keira Knightley has would be considered unhealthy and unattractive. ^^; Corsets were there to make the waist smaller, and thus make the hips appear bigger. Bigs wes wehe \he "in" thing.

I have issues with you OOC Norrington - the man is NOT evil. While Jack is a pirate as well as a good man, Norrington is a by-the-book law-abiding officer who is also a good man. He is extremely unselfish - this is proven by him saying "By remembering that I serve others, and not myself" in response to Jack tempting him to go after the Black Pearl, as well as him giving up on Elizabeth when he realized she was in love with Will (regardless of the fact that she had agreed to marry him - in that age, he could have forced her to marry him and been totally in the right). I really doubt he would ever marry for a superficial reason. If the only reason he like Elizabeth was that she was beautiful, he would have taken back his proposal when she had returned from being kidnapped - she'd just spent a day on board a pirate ship, and a lot of time alone with a boy who was known to have feelings for her, and her "dignity" as lady would be GONE in the eyes of the public by this point. But he still cares for her, and is still willing to marry her, public knowledge be damned.

Irks aside, your writing is fairly good, and I encourage you to continue in your writing endeavors.

*claps hand gleefully* "Pirates" het! Decent "Pirates" het! Hurrah! *finishes exulting* I've really enjoyed your story so far, especially the Jack POV bits and the portrayal of Will and Eizabeth--happily married, obviously in love, but still able to argue and disagreee. Abby may be charting a course a bit near to the shoals of Mary Suedom, if only in that she's going to ep wip with the hottest character in the story, but I like her anyway. Romantic, outspoken (but not unbelievably so), and for once, not perfect-looking, raven-haired, "fragile-looking" or any of those other female OC traits.

My only bit of criticism is that you may be making Norrington just a bit too evil--he did have a heart in the movie, if one rather well buried under stuffiness, judgementalness, and duty.

I like the direction that your fic is taking, it's better than most of the 'what happened after the movie' fics that I\readread. Abiageal is an awesome character (and she's Irish which makes her even more cool) and I can't wait to read your next installment.

I think you are doing Jack just fine- I think he must be a very hard character to write. I would be afraid to attempt it. Anyway, I'm still quite enjoying this story- I hope to see more soon.

I can clearly see Jack's charming personality shining through in this chapter. I also like the injured ribs bit. It's good to torture the heroes! BTW, any chance I can get on a mailing list so you can let me know when you update? I'm really enjoying the story.

I'm liking this storlot.lot. How refreshing to find a story that actually wants to keep Will and Elizabeth together! And while Abby is an original character, I wouldn't call herary ary Sue. Poor thing's hardly perfect-looking, and you have a wonderful way of winning over the reader's sympathy to her. So please write more, and quickly! I want to know what happens next.

your story is pretty impressive! it actually DIDN'T try to break up Will and Elizabeth, Jack is done exactly in character, and you are just a talented writer to begin with. one thing I really liked was when the sky (or the sea - can't remember) was described as being "as blue as a mermaid's tears". LOVED that.

remember, the one difference between an Original Character and a Mary Sue is that Mary Sues are perfect and ideal and the main character takes one look at her and falls instantly in love. Abby is an original character and a good one, she's fearless and funny, I like how she's starting to despair about Norrington and we can see how she's desperate, that she's got to get out. as long as you keep portraying her as a person, stating all of her personality, temper, plainness, strengths and flaws and all, then your story will continue to be great.

rock on. keep writing! anicklickly, because the Sparrowfan in me wants to see Jack get laid. w00t for spirited chicks!

This is a GREAT FIC! I hope that you write more soon and I don't care about the writing thing! As long as you keep adding more chapters, that's GREAT!

Me again! Sorry I forgot! I LOVE MAry-Sue's (call me crazy) and I'm so glad that there is finally a good Jack/OC pairing! I LOVE OC pairings! PLEASE get a little more graphic with Jack and the OC!

Great! I usually don't like Mary Sue characters, but your story is an exception. I really like the character of Abby, and I think her firey hair and spirit will be perfect for Jack. Just because she doesn't fit the dainty china doll idea of beauty of the 1600's, doesn't mean she isn't beautiful in her own way. I can Jack being attracted to her strong physique.

Too bad Jack is getting better! I was hoping you'd torture him some more, and then Abby would get to nurse him back to health. Heh
Mor