rate_review Reviews

This is a wonderful s! I ! I love it! Can't wait to hear more. You're a truly brilliant and talented author.

Hi, just thought I'd comment on the MarySue thing. I personally like fanfics with OC. Yes, I suppose it is a way of inserting one's self into the story, but so what? I personally don't see a problem with it. If people to to be so picky about it they need to stick to the original and not read fan-fiction. Just MHO. Anyway, I'm still enjoying your story(and no, I am not a teenaged girl), so I hope you find the time to write more soon!

Its great! Keep it up. Maybe have abby free Jack and stop the marrage agreement or somethin along those lines. Just a thought ;)

I reviewed this story on ff.n, but I wanted to add my thoughts here as well (also since ff.n appears to be down, AGAIN...)

I don't notice anything particularly "Mary Sue-ish" about your Abby. She is not stunningly beautiful, which I find refreshing; she's not dainty and small, and the main characters (i.e., Norrington) do not fall instantly in love with her. Just remember to balance a strength (her kind heart) with a weakness (her plainness). If you make her clever at solving problems, remember to give her a balancing weakness, too, like a terrible fear of firing a gun. (And that's just an example, mind, not that you should adopt that particular idea.) Just don't make her able to save the day single-handedly and you'll be well on your way to an attractive female OC.

I like the interaction between Elizabeth and Will; I like very much that you have chosen to give them a loving relationship in this story. The way Will calls her "loves tos touching.

I have a weakness for what another writer called "the hero in a heap" story, and you carry this off very well. Poor Jack... Can't be too battered, lol!

I know you said you aren't good a proofreading, but there were a couple errors that were glaring enough you might want to fix: when you say Jack is just recovered from "phenomena" when I think you mean "pneumonia", and the reference to going to "Satin" when I think it should be "Satan". Please don't take this as criticism, I only mean to help you. I am really enjoying your story & was so glad to see a 3rd chapter posted here tonight. The inner editor in me can't help nitpicking.

Sentence structure is good, grammar is good, description is good. You have a nice mix of personalities in your characters. I can't wait to read the next chapter. Don't rush the storyline, give Jack a hard time getting free!

Sorry if this review is way too long.

The words are blissful I must admit, your style of writing and your perfect method of capturing the essence of the turners. Yet, this fiction has Mary Sue Written all over it. My heart truly bleeds for Jack. I feel so puzzled, why didn't the Black Pearl fight harder. how many pirates did it take to over power them? Why hadn't Jack gotten out by now? I cross my fingers and hope for Will and Elizabeth to save him and hope that the Pearl will save them.

Sadly, in the back of my mind, i know, had it really happened to Jack, it would have never occured the way it's written but I solute you for your style and your wonderful fresh ideas.

Ana

This is still quite good.It's very well-writen and I like the descriptions. Abby I also like, especially the fact that she isn't some perfectly georgeous stick-girl. Looking forward to more! Please continue!

I love this fic!!! The plot so far is very good so far and I can't wait to read more. Keep up the great work and update SOON!!!

oops ignore that little "so far" thing... Kinda tired today...

I like this story so far......well written, and very enjoyable...and for once you have given people a story that has the pairing of Will and Elizabeth! I have been hunting for those but so far have been unsuccessful until now. Thank you for that much. But now that I am on the subject of that: Do you know where I can find other stories with that pairing? (Maybe I'm just not looking hard enough...) and will you get a bit graphic with those two? They are such a lovely couple and deserve a well written romantic scene. But I am anxious to see how this story will come along for it looks promising as of now. Thanks for this one.

Oh, please do continue! This is a very good start!