rate_review Reviews

*glomps* Woohoo! Another good one. I do apologize, I failed to mention in my last review how fabulous your dreams came out. Utterly terrifying, some of them.

I loved that Will called Norrington rash. It tut turnabout fun? Of course, that whole scene was a bit out of character for that git, but so long as Jack and Will are together, I'll overlook it. ^_^ (Wanted to see Norrington get his ass whooped anyways.) Elizabeth's letter seemed a bit... hard even for her character. I guess I can see why Norrington thought Will wrote it. It doesn't sound like her character in the movie. Ye might want ta tweak it a bit...

Moving right along... I can't wait to see what Jack thinf hif his sword!

And that boat? How many slash references are you gonna put in this fic before we get to the actual slashing??? Damn hillarious. I hope Zalaman's read this far. She's gonna fall out of her seat when she gets to your boat's nickname and catpain.

Keep up the good work, and pace.

~ Clef

I really like this story! I hope you write more very very soon!

Ah, bloody hell. Enough with the cliffhangers, it was just getting really good! For some reason, I always grin whenever Jack shows up in a scene. You’ve written him well enough to convince me, even if he’s only been around a short time:) I can't wait for the next installment.

All right, I've been reading this for awhile, and I figure it’s about time I leave a review. While there’s isn’t much I can critique thus far, I’m going to do my best to help you make your work even better than it already is. I can’t judge you on your spelling and grammar errors. I don’t beta anything I post, but I’ve often found that closing a document anddingding it again in the morning helps me find most of the glaring mistakes. Don’t worry, I realize the pressure to post often and fast can get to you, but this really helps. Of course I should add that any errors I spotted weren’t glaring enough to detract from either the story or word flow, so kudos tu fou for that.

I love the descriptions in your work. I’m a huge sucker for poetic descriptive, and your very first line hooked me immediately: “William Turner, a silent and stoic figure of a young man, stood knee deep in the salt water that was steadily rising as the tide came in.”
Oft, it’s the first line that’s the most difficult to write, so I thought I’d tell you that I absolutely love this one.

I also appreciate your use of nightmares to set the story. You’ve taken the old “I woke up one morning and realized I was in love with him” cliché to a whole new level. My poor heart wrenches every time poor William goes to sleep. By playing off his fears, you make the idea of a romance between him and Jack more plausible. Not that I can possibly dismiss all the available evidence in the movie:) Jack, the scoundrel. I’m curious to see how his side of the story will go. If you can continue to write your characters with this level of thought and depth, you shouldn't have any problems pleasing the masses.

Well, now that I’ve rambled on about nothing, you’ll have to settle for a shallow review filled with naught but compliments. I'm terribly sorry:). Constructive efforts may present themselves in the next review:)
Oh yes, and I *adore* your disclaimer.
Cheers

I still adore this story to bits! There are a few typos and errors, yes. I'll be glad to beta the next chapter as I see it, since I'm coming over your house for a fic party. Mwaha!

::Pops in your fic as a Mary Sue. Shags Norrington senseless. Dies a traumatic death::

I can't wait for the next chapter to be finished! Bring on the fight! I also am utterly amused by the fact that I know spoilers! Guess I'll have to keep my hyper mouth shut. Jack better show up soon, he's my hero! Any questions, don't hesitate to ask me. Plotting is such fun :)

Oooooooooooooooh. I like this. I like your Elizabeth. I like your Will. What's the sword look like? And how will Jack meet up with Will again? Oh, don't tell me the new gov'ner'll try to hang Will and Jack'll rescue him. (Been there, done then. And yes, I DO have a skull and crossed cutlasses t-shirt--just fer tha movie. Then again, Jack could impersonate another member of the clergy... ~_^)

I really do want to see what happens. Write more. And quickly please. Thanks!

Erin,
I knew that you had a passion for writing, but until reading this I had no idea how truly talented you are. As I mentioned before, your style is fluid and your language is beautiful. The metaphors fit so smoothly into the story; they aren't showy or cumbersome.

I did notice a few typos and such, but I'm assuming that's what this "beta" person on vacation is for, so I won't harp on that.

Your attention to detail is applaudable... despite obvious changes to the main characters' preferences and lifestyle, they still seem incredibly true to the movie... I don't know how you did it, but there was a seamless transition of the Will I knew from the cinema into the desirous homosexual of a man. Your characters have more depth than the movie's.

There's one thing I wonder about... you seem to be taking Jack's character into a different direction than Johnny Depp did. I read an interview with him... he said that he developed his character by thinking of pirates as rock stars, and even modeled Jack after Mick Jagger... slurring words, alcoholism and all. When Will describes the way Jack moves and such, it doesn't seem so quirky as in the film. Was this deliber Is Is Will's view of Jack obscured because of his infatuation, or is Will now slightly less neurotic? I guess I'll just have to wait until Will makes his eagerly anticipated appearance.

The layout is there... I can't wait for the slash chapter(s). My thoughts are that Will is the... ahem... bitch. But don't let that thought influence you if it wasn't what you were going to do... I would love to see what that mind of yours comes up with.

Excellent work thus far,
Keep on writing...

Renee

Alright, I've actually got some constructive critisism! *glares at her 'muse' until he applauds* ^_^ -Sano will give you the list, in the order in which I found the errors/places for improvement.
Sano(my 'muse'): #1-Near the beginning, the section about the cannon balls, maybe you could phrase that "die by them" rather than "die from them". Sounds better, if you ask me.
#2-When Norrington was talkin' to Will about Elizabeth. I can't remember exactly, but he said something with the word area, spelled "aria" which is the music, not location. Isn't spell check evil?
#3-Okay, after that, when Will was thinking about the Black Pearl coming back. You typed Pear;
#4-After Elizabeth had left, I think it was a life tinged with "hear", which shoulda been fear...
#5-And in the next paragraph, you forgot to capitalize Will.
Now, Lissa would tell ya how much she loved yer fic, but she's busy tryin' to kill the fly that's been landin' on the computer screen for the past 30 minutes. So...um...yeah... *grabs a bottle of sake and exits off stage right*

Email me and I'll love you forever. And...I'll share my muse. ~*~Lissa~*~

This story is WONDERFUL!!!! It's just so... I mean, xplaxplains everything wonderfully and very imaginative. I just fell in love with this story. Please, you must continue. This is the best Will/Jack I've seen.

I just love how you made Will so passionate about his work in this last chapter. Now tha Elizabeth is gone does that mean that Jack will be coming soon? I hope so. I dearly want to see him and Will be together. Oh, and Norrington is a pompus ass and you have potrayed him well if not more asslike than ever.

Very nice! I like this approach to Jack/Will; having them not just get together at the beginning, I mean. Original! ^_^ And I think you've captured Elizabeth really nicely! You didn't make her evil! (Happens a lot in fics, I've noticed O_o)

Very nice job with the dreams, they seemed weird enough to be realistic. ^_- If you know what I mean.

Anyhow, excellent over all -- I can't wait for more!