Innocence Shattered

Disclaimer: I dont own anyone.thing from the Matrix. that belongs to those brothers with the weird name i can't spell. the characters that you don't recognise are mine.


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I stood in front of the desk, the man sitting behind it was the captain of the Nebachanezzer, his name was Morpheus and he was well known in the resistance for taking risks. But at the moment I didn't care about that, I hadn't cared about anything in a long time.

"You attacked and nearly killed the first officer on the Victory, that is why you are here. This is your last chance, if you even try to pull the same thing on my ship, you won't serve anywhere else, understand?" He said.

"Yes, sir." I replied emotionlessly.

"What gives you the right to do what you did?" He asked.

"The same thing that gave them the right to-" I broke off, realising that my voice had risen, as I remembered what they had done to me on the Victory for years.

"The right to what?" He actually sounded like he wanted to know, but I knew better, they were the same here, of that I had no doubt.

"Nothing, sir." I said. He waited for a moment then nodded.

"When any of my crew go into the Matrix, you will not accompany us, until I say otherwise. You will be working with our operator while we are inside and you will do exactly what he tells you to. Understand?" He said.

"Yes, sir." I replied.

"Dismissed." He said. I turned and trying no to limp too much, I left his office and as it was the night shift, I went directly to my room. I didn't go to sleep straight away, I was expecting on of the Neb's crew to pay me a visit, but none of them did. I lay there trying to remember my life before I had been taken out of the Matrix, but as always I could remember nothing about it. Eventually I drifted off, as always my dreams were tainted by the nightmares that had haunted me for the last eleven years. I woke sweating and gasping for air, after I had calmed myself down I crawled out of bed and made my way up to the core, to start on whatever the operator had for me to do. He was really friendly and seemed always be smiling and cracking jokes. I just did what he told me to do, for nearly three days; no one tried to do what they had done to me on the Victory. In my mind that meant nothing, I knew that eventually they would. It was on the fourth day, as I was searching for the medic, to get painkillers for the burning pain, that seemed to be getting worse; that I approached the mess hall, I heard them talking about me.

"She hardly ever talks and I don't think I've ever seen her smiling." Said Neo's voice. What did I have to smile about? I wondered.

"Give her a chance, she's still getting to know us." Tank said. Before it could continue I pushed the door open and stepped inside, instantly all conversation ceased.

"Which one of you is the medic? I'm looking for painkillers." I said. Dozer glanced up.

"That's me. What kind of pain?" He asked.

"Headache." I lied. He raised his eyebrows, it was fairly evident that I was a terrible liar. He stood up.

"Let's go down to the medbay." He said and led the way out the door. I followed him slowly, the pain having slowed my limp to a crawling walk. When I got to the medbay he was waiting, he pointed to one of the beds.

"I haven't given you a check up yet, now's as good a time as any." He said.

"All I need are painkillers." I mumbled. He came over and put his hands on my shoulders, in what I now realise was meant to be a comforting gesture. But I jerked away and stumbled backward. I could see it all happening again. I could feel myself trembling when I wrapped my arms around myself.

"No! Stay away from me!" I screamed at him. He gave me a strange look, then turned and left the medbay. A few moments later he returned with Trinity, she cam over to me. I tired backing away from her, but I was pressed against the wall, my eyes darted around frantically, trying to find a way to get out of here.

"All I want are painkillers." I whispered.

"It's okay everyone has to get these check ups. It will be okay, I'll stay if you want me to." Trinity said. I had no way out, so I let her lead me over to Dozer, I looked up at him apprehensively.

"Just sit on the bed." He said. I shook my head.

"It's okay it will be over before you know it." Trinity said, my eyes moved to her, then I stared at the floor.

"It hurts to much to sit." I whispered. Trinity looked at Dozer, there was a look on his face that said it all to plainly that they both knew why it hurt. Dozer gestured to Trinity and they both stepped away from me to speak quietly. As Dozer pulled a curtain around the bed, Trinity came back she laid a gentle hand on my shoulder.

"We need you to take off your pants and lie stomach down on the bed." She said. I didn't understand what she meant, but I did as she asked anyway and she helped me lie on the bed. Then Dozer came back, I could feel his hands moving up my legs; pushing my legs apart. I tried to pull away, or close my legs again, I thought he was going to do the same thing to me. Trinity held my hands in her own and she spoke to me.

"He's not going to hurt you." She said. I believed her and concentrated on the sound of her voice, trying to block out what Dozer was doing.

"Turn over onto your back and put your feet in the stirrups." He said. Without saying anything, I didn't as he told me to, I stared up at the ceiling, after a while though I closed my eyes. All the time Trinity was talking to me.

"You can stand up now. Take your shirt off." He said after a while. I removed my shirt and folded my arms across my chest; I could feel his fingers tracing the cuts, bruises, burns and bite marks on my back. Then he came around in front of me.

"Move your arms please." He said. I wanted this to end, like it had never happened, but I knew that was no longer an option.

"Ok, you can get dressed now." He said. As I was doing that. He gave Trinity a bottle of pill and whispered instruction. She brought me back to my room, gave me two of the pills and tucked me into bed, then she turned to leave.

"Can you stay with me, please. I-I'm scared." I whispered. She nodded and sat down at the end of my bed.

Dozer knocked on the door of Morpheus office, then walked in. Morpheus glanced up, a slight frown on his face.

"Can't this wait? I have a request from the captain of the Victory, they want Katana back." He said.

"That's part of the reason that I'm here." Dozer said. He gave Morpheus Katanas recent medical report; Morpheus gave it a cursory glance before setting it aside.
s I's I'd heard that she was looking for something for a headache. Did you give her something?" He asked. Dozer sat down in the opposite chair, he was used to Morpheus acting this way, the man had a ship to run, after all.

"Actually it was a lot more than just a headache. Read the report." He said. Morpheus sighed, but picked up the report anyway, after a few moments all of his attention was focused on it and his new crewmember. When he was finished reading, he turned serious eyes to Dozer.

"Where is she now? Is she ok?" He asked.

"I sent her back to her room with Trinity. As for being ok, I seriously doubt it. Judging from the injuries she has, this has been going on for quite some time." Dozer said.

"I don't think that the Victory will be doing anything for a long time." Morpheus said. It was clear to Dozer that Morpheus considered this conversation to be over, he stood up to leave.

"Tell Katana that I would like to speak with her." Morpheus said. Dozer nodded and left. Morpheus shook his head sadly. What kind of sick bastards would do something like this? He wandered. He should have known something was wrong, the way she acted around the rest of the crew; like she was scared of them, the way she walked. He should have paid more attention.

I woke up next morning, Trinity still sat at the end of my bed. She smiled sadly when my eyes met hers.

"Want to get something to eat?" She asked. I wasn't really hungry, but I nodded anyway. She put an arm around my shoulders as we made our way to the mess hall. I knelt on one of the benches, as she got us some food. We ate in silence for a while, then Dozer, Neo and Tank joined us.

"Don't you know how to sit properly?" Neo asked, pushing me lightly on the back. I flinched away from him, but didn't say anything. Trinity glared at him.

"Leave her alone, Neo." She snapped. Dozer came over and gave me two pills.

"They're painkillers." He said.

"Ok, thanks." I said, swallowing them with some water.

"Morpheus wants to speak to you as soon as you're finished." He said. I nodded, finished what was left in the bowl and left. The door of his office was open, so I walked right in.

"Dozer said you wanted to talk to me." I said.

"Yes, sit down." He said. I looked at the chair.

"I'd rather stand, sir." I said.

"This could take some time." He said. I looked up at him.

"You don't understand, it hurts to much to sit." I said. There was a look I couldn't identify in his eyes.

"Dozer told me about your exam yesterday. How old are you?" He asked. I should have known that he'd be told about it.

"Sixteen." I replied quietly.

"I think that it's only fair to tell you that the Victory wants you back onboard." He told me. I stepped back as if he'd slapped me.

"No! I'm not going back there!" I said vehemently.

"You're not. I've contacted Zion and the Victory has been recalled they are going to want to know what happened to you. So maybe you should tell irstirst." He invited. A part of me didn't want to talk about it, but another part of me wanted to speak to someone about this. I raised my eyes to look into his steady gaze, but I could not maintain eye contact, I dropped my eyes back to the floor.

"They were doing it since I came out of the Matrix. I've seen how they rebuild the muscle of others they took out.they didn't do that with me, said the best way to get muscles was to fight for them." Somewhere along the way I had started crying and now tears dripped from my chin, I wiped angrily at them with my fist.

"I remember telling a new crewmember once, he turned out to be exactly like the rest of them. They did it a few times a week, usually two would come to my room at night or they might not even wait for night. Up until the time I was transferred here. That's the reason I stabbed the first officer, I didn't want it to happen again." I looked into his eyes, instead of the reproach I expected to see there, I saw sadness. I plunged ahead.

"Didn't matter though, the others caught me in the act, they took me to the mess hall, there was a hook in the ceiling and they tied my hands together and ripped my clothes off. One was in front of me and the other behind and then they.they took turns, over and over again. I don't know how long it went on for." I finally stopped speaking, but I was still crying, no matter how hard I tried I couldn't stop. He came around the desk and put his arms around me, for the first time in as long as I can remember I didn't pull away, I sobbed unashamedly into his chest. For the first time in memory I felt safe. Eventually I pulled away, realising that I had been crying all over the captain.

"I'm sorry, sir." I mumbled. He shrugged his shoulders.

"That's ok, you can stay as a part of my crew, if that is what you want." He said. I stared at him, hardly daring to hope.

"Really?" I whispered. He nodded.

"I would like that, thank you, sir." I said.

"Call me Morpheus. Welcome home." He said.