My Dying Wish

What if she had lived...
---

Padmé’s eyes fluttered open. They hurt her, they felt bulging and they throbbed. Her head was in pain as well, as she turned to look at the sleeping form of a familiar Jedi slumped in the chair beside her bed. Tears began to well up in her eyes.

“Anakin…,” she whimpered his name and Obi-Wan’s eyes flashed open. He sat up straight and, upon seeing her awake, flew to her side. He grasped her hand.

“M’lady,” was all he could say in a breathless whisper. “You’re awake, we’ve been so worried.”

“W-what happened to Ani?”

The sadness in the veteran Jedi’s eyes was showing through. He had hoped not to continue delivering bad news, particularly in the condition she was in. They’d almost lost her during childbirth. Her body had all but given up. But, slowly, she began to come back to life. Perhaps the thought of her children had brought her back.

“He’s gone Padmé.”

“No,” her brows crinkled at the edges, the sadness in her face was unbearable. She began crying more visibly, as streams of tears flowed out of the edges of her brown eyes.

Obi-Wan seemed hurt by this reaction, although it was expected. He felt a sharp pain in his chest to have to see this poor woman, who had already been through so much, endure so much more. He was afraid she’d be lost to him again. He’d been at her bedside all night, hoping against hope that she would wake up and what did he do when she finally did? He made her feel pain. He watched as one of his oldest friends got her heart ripped out piece by piece.

“But Padmé,” he pleaded, “your children. Luke, Leia, they are fine, they are healthy.”

With that he stood and motioned to one of the droids standing watch outside. “Bring them to her, please.” He always felt so awkward talking to droids.

The machine hummed in its tongue in the affirmative and sped off.

Padmé seemed to be in pain and she continued to squint her eyes as she cried.

“W-why is this happening to us,” she said, her eyes turning to stare at a sterile white ceiling. “We were so happy.”

Obi-Wan placed a hand on her forehead, which was moist with perspiration. He caressed it softly and kept his right hand holding firmly onto her left.

“I simply do not know the answer to that m’lady. I wish I could give you some comfort. All I can say is that you must do what you can for the sake of those two babies. Perhaps their paths will be filled with more joys than sorrows.”

She seemed to understand his words, even in her state and she gave some semblance of a nod, but she could not hold back the tears. And now, as she heard the hum of the nurse droid return, she turned her head to the other side to see it carrying two bundles wrapped in blankets. Obi-Wan walked over quickly and took each one carefully. He was fumbling over himself, as he was not used to babies. But he could not help but smile down at Luke as he was nestled in his left arm, and Leia in his right. He turned to present the children to their mother for the second time. Leia was fast asleep and Luke stared up at Obi-Wan with large dark eyes, that resembled his mother’s.

“May I present to you your children, Padmé.” He used her name as she’d often told him to do in the years that had passed. For one second a memory flashed in her mind of Naboo. She was in the courtyard and he had come out to meet her before the ceremony after they had defeated the Trade Federation. It was probably to think her for her kind words after his Master’s death. However, he seemed awkward and fumbling when he finally spoke and she wanted to ease his tension.

~*~
“We shall remain here a few days longer M’lady.”

“Padmé. In private, call me Padmé”
~*~

She was taken out of the reverie by a tear stinging her temple, she’d cried too much. But now, at the sight of her precious children, she smiled. Although, it was not as happy a smile as Obi-Wan would have liked to see. She followed the descent of each as Obi-Wan placed a bundle in each of her fragile arms. He took a few steps back and out of the room to give her a little time alone with the twins. She was cuddling them with her cheek, cooing and crying as any mother would.

“Leia. Luke,” she sobbed.

-----

Some days had passed. News of the exploits of a new terror had already begun leaking into Coruscant. It seems that the new Emperor had an apprentice, or a “dark dignitary” as some had referred to him.

Darth Vader, a figure robed in black wearing a fearsome helmet had already taken several reluctant systems by force. The Emperor had obviously employed this man’s services to stamp out the last vestiges of the old Republic. Rumors were being passed around that this Darth Vader was a Sith. In fact, he’d already visited the ruins of Korriban, an old Sith world.

With this news, Masters Yoda and Obi-Wan had their worst fears confirmed. Anakin had died in a very real sense, but been resurrected as a horrible half man, half machine.
The decision had to be made and the last of the Jedi Masters took it upon themselves to come to such a resolution, if that is what it could be called. The children of the Jedi once known as Anakin Skywalker would be separated. And his wife would flee Coruscant forever.

Shouldering the burden of breaking this to the still-grieving woman, Obi-Wan entered her sterile room where she was still being monitored by all manner of machinery.

“Padmé,” he said, gravely.

The tone in his voice made her heart sink. She looked at him with eyes that seemed to plead that she could bear no more.

“I must speak with you,” he went on, standing at her bedside, seeming to tower over her.

He went on when she said nothing, “we have reason to believe that… how can I say this.” He faltered and paced over to the chair he often sat in. He brought his hand up to rub the hair on his chin. He looked down, the lines on his forehead betraying his worry and anguish. He was not strong enough to deliver this message. Was anyone?

“What is it,” she asked him softly, following his movement around the room.

“It would seem,” he began as he brought his eyes back up to meet hers, “that Lord Sidious has taken a new apprentice. You and the children are no longer safe here, on Coruscant.”

“A-ani? He’s alive?” She was shocked; the breath seemed to spill out of her.

“He’s not Anakin, m’lady. He hasn’t been since he left Coruscant that night, after he’d slaughtered everyone in the temple, after he’d killed younglings with not a pause. He will likely never be Anakin again. From what I hear this Darth Vader is more a machine than a man. Another Grievous, only more dangerous and far deadlier.” He let his anger and his sense of betrayal guide his words, and each one stung her more than the last. Again she cried. He could see small lines forming along her cheeks, a river of sadness in that smooth skin. He felt less than what he was, he felt small and helpless for always being the one to have to make her grieve.

“Where will we go?” She tried to understand, but her head was swimming. The thought of Anakin being alive filled her with something that was partly hope and partly dread.

“For your protection, we have…” he paused and tried to find the words, “publicized a record of your death. Your body was not recovered and no record of the births of Luke or Leia Skywalker will ever exist.” He waited to let her take this in.

She took a deep breath and nodded for him to continue, seeing he had more to say.

“In addition, it would be best to separate the children. If the Emperor were to find them… If Darth Vader were to find them… there is no telling what danger they could face.” He frowned and waited for her response.

Padmé’s tears showed no signs of stopping and she shook her head. “But why, what will happen to my babies?”

His voice grew hoarse, and he had to fight to get the rest out. “I will take Luke to his Aunt and Uncle on Tatooine and watch over him there. You will take Leia to a secure country home on Alderaan. Bail Organa has been most kind in helping to make those preparations. He and his people there will take care of you. I will come see you from time to time, of course,” he added as if it might comfort her, but he was sure nothing would.

She stared up at the ceiling again, framed in thick, dark locks of hair. Even in this state, Obi-Wan felt admiration for her. He watched her as she lay in silence for a long time. Breaking that void, Obi-Wan spoke again.

“They are our last hope. It is very possible that Master Yoda and I are the last of the Jedi and your children, their father being who he was, may someday become great Jedi as well. We must all go into hiding and we must all wait. Luke and Leia will grow to be caring and good. I feel this. And, perhaps, it is they who will help restore order to this frayed galaxy. You must understand, Padmé. It tears at my very soul to see you so distraught and to have not an ounce of joy to bring you. All we can do is be patient.”

She listened and processed his words for a long time. Her head swam with the possibilities, with the decision that had seemingly already been made. It was more like he was telling her than asking her. But, after all, he was right. And maybe it was better this way.

“For the sake of my twins, I will do as you say,” she said quietly. Her eyes had not moved to look at him and this stung Obi-Wan somewhat. “Leave me now, please.”

“As you wish, m’lady.’ He bowed and left the room, feeling much smaller than when he’d entered.