A Jedi in Smallville

Okay, I know nothing about Star Wars except for what I saw in the movies, but 7 months ago it was raining and I was bored and I re-watched Attack of the Clones. And I still haven't seen the last one. (I suck.)

Anyway, I started thinking, what if Obi-Wan and Annikin came to Smallville.
So if you're a Star Wars Fans who actually reads the books and knows all about that stuff please forgive any erroneous assumptions I might make about Republic technology, the Force, the Jedi Order, or how a master would actually talk (though to be honest I think my dialogue beats George Lucas’ hands down so there!)
Once again, I do not own any of these characters. Warner Brothers and Tollins/Robbins owns smallville and George Lucas owns Star Wars (and possibly Twentieth Century Fox.) I do not fear the former, but the latter, please do not crush me (I've been to the ranch...shudder...) I just had to shave off that nasty beard you made Obi-Wan wear in the Attack of the Clones.

A Jedi in Smallville

As Lex watched the spaceship blast off from the make-shift launchpad at the back of the castle, taking with it his lover, his teacher and his best friend, he was surprised to find he felt nothing but joy. It was all exhileration, as if his own heart was flying off into the stratosphere. He would never know if the science was correct, or if his friends would ever be able to return home, but for the first time in his life, he trusted that even if things didn’t work out as anticipated, they would work it. And if he was fair and just, he thought as he started walking back to the castle, he should really thank his father for setting of the course of events that led to this moment. Because, if he wasn’t such an awful bastard, this all might have never happened.

And indeed Lionel had been even more insufferable almost a year earlier, to a level where Lex actually feared he would strangle the man. Not pay someone to do the deed, but actually reach out and wrap his fingers around his father’s neck and squeeze until bones snapped under the onslaught.
Of course, he knew he probably couldn’t break his father’s neck with his bare hands, but it was an image he used to calm himself during one of his father’s tirades. It all came to a head when he spent a
week in Metropolis being belittled, taunted, and generally mind-fucked by his over bearing father. Unwilling to spend another second in the old bastards company, he decided to sneak out of the penthouse and head back home to Smallville.

Unfortunately, he was a little more drunk than he thought, and when the tire on the Porsche blew out, he lost control of the car and smashed into one of the guardrails. He managed to crawl from the wreckage without the help of lying farmboys, thank you very much, and though he was bleeding from a scalp wound he was actually okay.
“I’m a fucking GOD AMONG MEN!” He remembered shouting.
No matter. He walked a miles he guessed, pumped up on adrenaline, and then he saw it: A bright flash in the sky and then “something” crashing into a Kansas cornfield. Even though Lex was scared shitless (since it brought to mind the meteor storm) he ran towards the point of impact. Which probably wans’t a good idea because he was running through full corn fields and they were cutting his face and hands. And that’s when he saw them.
Two aliens. Well two aliens who looked human (and Lex Luthor knew all about aliens in human-face) standing next to a space ship and yelling in a language Lex didn’t recongize.
Luckily, it was a full moon, so he could see them well despite the fact it was night. The boy alien was dressed in loose brown pants and white tunic and he seemed pissed off. He was shouting and kicking the ship. Lex noticed his hair was all shaved except for a thin braid. The man wore a variation on the boy’s outfit, but his hair was long and he sported a lustrous thick beard. He stood calmly watching his companion.
“Annikin-“ he said and then he turned around. His eyes seemed to find Lex in the shadows. Lex cringed back but the man moved smoothly through the corn and to his hiding place.
He addressed Lex in the language they had been speaking before. He tried a few more languages: one sounded a lot like Japanese and Lex felt like he should understand it, but shook his head and threw his hands up.
“I don’t understand. I guess we don’t have a language in common. ” Lex answered slowly. The boy who seemed to be done with his swearing walked to where they were standing. He was quite lovely to look out with full pink lips and expressive eyes. There was something almost angelic about his features and he was beautiful even with the bad clothes and worse haircut.
“Say...again?” The boy said, pronouncing the words with a strange accent. Maybe we do have a language in common.
“My name is Lex Luthor.” He reached out a hand. “I mean you no harm.” He’d always wanted to say that.
The boy snorted. There was something about him that just wasn’t nice, Lex realized. So much for the angel comparison.
“I-Annikin Skywalker. This-” and he pointed to the older man “Master Obi-Won Kenobi.”
“You are bleeding.” The older man observed taking a step towards Lex.
“I was in an accident. I guess porsches and booze don’t mix!” He laughed nervously.
The two men exchanged quizzical glances and then shrugged. Lex shivered and realized how tired and woozy he felt.
The older man reached out to steady him and he swore he felt a tendril of energy course through his body.
“Well, it’s late and I think we are all tired. You guys are more than welcome to stay with me if you’d like. It’s not everyday I meet two aliens!” He gushed. God he sounded like a dork.
“Good, that sounds.” The older man said. “But what about our vessel?”
“Oh, we better hide it. No telling what the local red necks might do when they find it. But how?” The two aliens exchanged a glance.