He isn't dead, Mrs Farrow! ( The Tamarind Seed )

Disclaimer: I don't own “The Tamarind Seed” or its characters. Evelyn Anthony wrote the novel, Blake Edwards directed the movie. Only the original parts of the plot and the additional characters belong to me. I don’t make any money from this story.

Summary:
Movie: The Tamarind Seed, by Blake Edwards, with Julie Andrews and Omar Sharif.
Mostly missing scenes followed by the first day and first night in Canada, after Judith joined Feodor there. Not sure yet if I’ll take it further than that.

Note:
Until Judith arrives in Canada, I mainly kept the plot as it is in the movie. I changed one thing though. When in Barbados the second time, I don’t believe that Feodor would go for a swim despite Judith’s anxiety and disapproval. They are lovers by then and they count for each other. I’d rather see Judith ask him not to go if he loves her, to do it for her and I can’t imagine him refusing just for the sake of a swim. So I placed that event one day earlier and I even imagined something special she did… He he! As a consequence, I had to make up a different reason for him to be outside their bungalow when the explosion occurred the following morning…


Thanks a lot to Revsue for being my beta 


Audio: Tamarind Seed Suite (by John Barry)
http://media.putfile.com/Tamarind-Seed-Suite---John-Barry

Chapter 1
***********

Pictures for chapter 1
http://s194.photobucket.com/albums/z52/Fran330/Tamarind%20seed%20fanfic%20Chap%201/
(To enjoy it best, click on “View slide show”, on the right)

**********
It had been arranged. A car picked her up at Edmonton International Airport, Canada It was early afternoon by then and the drive to the mountains would last for about two hours. While watching the busy road through the car window without paying much attention, Judith Farrow felt a sense of anticipation growing increasingly within. Her mind drifted to the events that had unfolded during the last few months. Not so much the fear, not the doubts and not the desperation she had felt after she had woken up from her coma. She had ached long enough from these. Right now, a light smile was curving her lips as she reminisced how she had gotten to know Feodor Sverdlov.
**********

From the start, when they met in Barbados, he had made no mystery about wanting her. He had said it openly and had tried to steal a kiss from her several times. She had soon felt attracted to this Russian man. He was handsome, incredibly kind, joyful, witty, intelligent, well-educated and she loved to hear the warm roundness of his Russian accent. But she had also felt cautious: he seemed to take nothing seriously, he didn’t even believe in good and evil. Also she hadn’t recovered yet from having been betrayed by her former lover with whom she had hoped to build a new life after her failed marriage and the death of her husband. She felt she wouldn’t be able to trust anyone for a long time and she had decided she would rather stay alone than being hurt again. So she had kept Feodor Sverdlov at a reasonable distance, but to be in his company had somehow been irresistible for her and she had grown to like him very much and to want to see more of him. After their time in Barbados, he had flown from Paris several times to spend few hours with her in London.

Another thing she had very soon appreciated about him was his thorough honesty. Like everything else, he had treated it with lightness but that had only made it even more endearing. In Barbados, he had made fun of her naivety for hoping to find some of the “magic” tamarind seeds they had learned about in the museum. His Marxist mind was sure the story was a mere legend and that they would never find trees producing such seeds. When, on her flight back, she had opened the envelope he had given her just before she left, she had been so amused yet at the same time so moved to find one of these seeds in it. A seed with the shape of a human head! That meant that he had found it without her knowing, and through that playful and non-verbal message, he was telling her: “I was wrong and you were right”, something neither Patrick nor Richard would have ever done. Even when obviously mistaken, neither of them had ever admitted it. No need to say they would have never told her she was right if they had had the means to hide it from her! Well, Feodor was not like that. Obviously he didn’t feel his male pride was prevalent to his honesty.

She had told herself that her feeling towards him was only friendship until he stole that kiss from her in the dark of a deserted street of London. She had instantly felt the warmth rushing through her, warmth she hadn’t felt since the time she was still believing that Richard loved her. She had been unable to not respond to his kiss. She had the excuse that they were being followed and needed to pretend they were lovers in order to hide his real plans from the Russian authorities, but he had known and she had known that her response to his kiss had gone beyond pretending.

Nevertheless, she hadn’t allowed that kiss to be talked about afterwards and she had seemingly come back to simple friendship, no matter his attempts otherwise. However, they had needed then to focus on having him escape from the mess he had put himself into with his own country. God! No country, and certainly not Russia in the 1970s, joked when one of their military attaches’ views drifted from the official stream! She had been doing her best to help him with that, in her modest capacity, but these kinds of life and danger were not for her. She would soon come back to her quieter life and he would fly to Canada to stay there. That would be it.


**********
The car had now left the busy outskirts of the airport and had reached a calmer area made of small towns, villages and fields. In the distance, she could vaguely see darker zones of landscape that must be forests, and round higher shapes that must be the foothills. She reached for her bottle of water, sipped slowly from it, then she lost herself in the landscape and in her memories.
**********


Finally they had gone back to Barbados together. That was part of the escaping plan. The Russian authorities would believe he was treating his new English lover in order to have her work soon as secret agent for Russia, but in reality, the British secret services would have him fly to Canada from there, two days after their arrival. He had offered them such important information that they would protect him and provide for him for the rest of his life. That was the deal.

Well, it hadn’t remained that simple for long… The Russians had known before he left that he had betrayed them. Her role as cover wouldn’t be enough anymore to make him safe.

When they flew to Barbados, she was scared and anxious. Russia had most probably some men on the island, to check on him or worse. What if things turned bad? Was she really doing all this out of friendship only? Out of friendship certainly, but she also knew that by now Feodor had the effect of a magnet on her. Although he was in big trouble and his very life was threatened, that man seemed to always keep his spirits up and to always bring joy and lightness into her own life. There was some kind of sunshine in that man’s personality and her quiet and more anxious nature was feeling nourished by his company. Also, since the kiss, she had felt that same warmth rushing through her each time he smiled at her or called her Dushinka (which means “Darling” in Russian) or touch her arm or chastely kiss her cheek with his soft and always burning lips. She would then feel an urge to embrace him, to lean on his strong and warm body, but there was no point. The main thing was that he had never talked about the future to her and before his escape plans came into the picture, he had refused the divorce that his wife had requested. A wife that he claimed not to love and not to be loved by. Judith believed in the genuineness of his friendship, but not in the seriousness of his attraction to her. He was a man to have affairs, probably not a man to build a life long relationship. She didn’t want Feodor for an affair, she didn’t want anybody for an affair. That was not her style, her heart was far too vulnerable for that.

Nevertheless, even as a friend, she ached at the idea of him living far away and of not seeing him ever again, most probably… He would have his identity changed, he would have to beware of the Russian secret services for the rest of his life. If she went to visit him in Canada, she would surely be followed and endanger him. It was all too complicated.


**********

That first evening in Barbados, the sunset over the ocean was stunning. A festival of deep red, purple and orange! That sight and the shower she had just taken had relaxed her a little from her anxiety and from the turmoil of her feelings. Feodor was smoking a cigarette, half sitting on the low wall surrounding their terrace and he was watching her coming. She stood there passively, her hands joined behind her back, few inches from him. All was very still.

He said, “Would you like to swim?”

Judith felt a dose of anxiety rise in her again. “The instructions are to not go away from the bungalow.”

“I know. But I am a man and I want you. And if I can’t have you, then I must occupy myself with some pleasant distractions that will keep my frustration to a minimum.”

She then had the courage to tell him, “Has it ever occurred to you that I might be slightly frustrated myself?”

He simply answered, “Then come to bed with me,” and as she turned her eyes towards the horizon, he added, “or come swimming…”

She turned back to him. “Feodor, you are going to Canada. I am living in England. Where would this lead us?"

He answered, as if it was the most natural thing ever, "Come to Canada with me!"

She looked at him gravely before she spoke again. “Why would I? If you hadn’t been forced to escape your country, you would still be refusing the divorce your wife is asking for. You would still put your country first and you would have no room for me in your life. Why are you asking me suddenly? Because your life has changed against your will? Because you are alone and you need company?” She was feeling both angry and tired at the same time. Tears were starting to fill her eyes but she kept looking at him stoically.

He stood up and made a few steps towards her, his eyes not leaving hers. He spoke slowly. “That request of divorce was part of a complot against me. My reason for not accepting it then was my survival, I told you. I was making plans for the divorce to go through eventually but I never tell my plans before I am sure they can really be applied.” He continued, breathing more heavily, “Do you really think that I want to make love to you, then forget about you? Do you really think that all I have wanted with you was a mere love affair?” His eyes were like shooting flames by now. “I want to make love to you every day from now on, I want to share projects with you, to laugh with you, to argue with you, to marvel with you, I want to raise children with you.” After a moment of silence, he added in a low voice, “But you are a free woman. If you prefer to just swim with me, let's go swimming and stop being afraid.”

She first stayed immobile. She felt mesmerised by his eyes and by his words. She felt her heart was being filled with a well being that she was not sure she had ever felt before. It was a mixture of immense love and trust coming not only from his words but also from the intense energy that was emanating from him. It felt like she had wanted to know who that man really was and now she knew. It felt like she had never had a “home”, like she had given up hoping for one, then she had just found it. All her doubts, all her sadness were leaving her and she could feel her heart beat faster.

With no awareness of what she was doing, she slowly took one step forward, until their bodies almost touched. She put her hands on his chest, their eyes still locked. She was slightly trembling. She shifted one of her hands to the back of his neck and lifted her lips towards his. He took her head in his hands, let his lips meet hers and almost instantly, their tongues met each other in a most sensual dance. Their embrace got as tight as could be, their hands frantically caressing the other’s hair, neck, waist, back, seeming to not be able to cease their movements. She was feeling his arousal against her body, and low moans were escaping her throat intermittently. To a different extent, they both had wanted this for too long.

After endless minutes of kissing and embracing, he pulled away from her gently, then he kept one arm around her shoulders, bent slightly and put his other arm behind her knees before lifting her and carrying her to his bedroom.

He laid her on his bed and took off her sandals and his. He then switched on the small lamp by the bed and joined her, his elbows on either side of her shoulders. His eyes felt to her like they were burning her. She reached for his cheek and he leaned it on her hand, eyes closed, for few seconds.

He looked at her again and asked, “Dushinka, should I be careful when making love to you? I will want to see you pregnant, but not just yet.”

She simply answered,“You don’t have to be careful. I am still protected…Thank you for your thoughtfulness.”

He then whispered in his delicious accent, “Let me undress you.”

She responded by reaching for the back of his head and by pulling him towards her. While they were again relishing their kiss, he undid slowly the buttons of her shirt. She helped him take off her shirt and he started to undo her bra. When the piece of lingerie had totally come off too, he gently released her lips, which she accepted reluctantly, and leaning on one arm, he admired her body. His other hand started to stroke her stomach and her sides in circles, ever so gently. It made her shiver from pleasure. His hand slid slowly up and when it reached the curve of her firm breasts, she gasped. He then sat up, brought one foot across her legs so that he could face her, and he used both his hands to proceed to stroke her breasts. He was still caressing her curves only, never touching the darker skin around her nipples. As soon as his fingers would almost reach it, they would slide away or stroke in circles along its edge. This teasing was making her feel incredibly impatient and excited, her nipples wanted the contact and to become erect but they remained soft and loosened, almost aching from anticipation. During that torture, she couldn’t help but breathe heavily, let her body squirm and her head rock from one side to the other. The delicious waves of pleasure she was feeling inside her tummy were increasing incessantly. After more of this torment, his fingers finally slid gently over her areolas and nipples. Instantly, that whole area contracted and her nipples became erect. Her body jolted and arched and a short cry escaped her lips, which she tried to mute by biting her hand. He kept fondling her nipples back and forth, making them erect and harden even more, sometimes pinching them softly while her hands were now desperately reaching for any piece of sheet they could find and clutching hold of it. She had never known her breasts were that sensitive. It was almost beyond what she could bear.

She then reached for his shoulders and begged in a husky voice, “Feodor, I want more…”

“Not yet. I want you to die from desire for me.”

Unnerved, she proceeded to nervously undo the buttons of his shirt. He smiled at the trembling of her fingers that were succeeding in their task with difficulty. When she was finally done, he released her breasts and helped her take off his shirt, after which he laid on her from the side, only his torso touching hers, and trailed kisses along her neck. One of his hands was stroking her side and the other her hair. His burning kisses on her neck, combined with the pressure and the movement of his muscular and hairy chest against her aroused nipples felt like the most delicious sensation she had ever encountered. She pulled her head back to give better access to his kisses, lifting her upper body and squirming against his to intensify the heavenly contact while her hands massaged his head, the back of his neck, his shoulders…

After long minutes of this intense and sensual dance, he gently parted from her, moved to the bottom of the bed, and, while looking at her eyes, he unzipped her trousers, then pulled them down slowly together with her underwear and dropped them on the floor. She remembered that she had never liked being seen naked, but today her nudity felt totally comfortable and if it was doing one thing to her, that thing was to add to her excitement. He started to trail kisses from her feet and up, very slowly, going from one leg to the other and back, following the curves of her calves, the inside of her knees, the top and the external sides of her thighs, her hips. She could feel her whole body vibrate and when he started to kiss the skin of her tummy, all around her pubic hair, she felt her hips move irresistibly, like a call for the touch to get closer to her most sensitive area. Instead, he moved up and looked into her eyes. After bringing her arms to the level of her head and pressing them against the bed with both his hands, he focused on her breasts again, repeating with his lips and tongue the game he had done earlier with his fingers. Instead of feeling violated by being immobilised, she relished surrendering to his erotic attention. When his tongue reached and teased one of her nipples, a long moan escaped her lips. He then stroked her other nipple with his fingers and she pressed his head even further against her breast with her free hand. She had lost all sense of propriety, she was totally immerged in the pleasure he was giving her.

He released her other arm, lifted his head to face her and while his eyes were diving into hers, his hand stroked down her body until it reached her knee. He then started to caress very lightly the inside of her long thigh, then the other, progressing up very slowly. She felt like her skin was becoming electrified under his hand and her thighs lifted and parted a little, wanting more and more and more of his touch. Her eyes were closing intermittently because his gaze and her own need were making her slightly self conscious again.

“Your skin is so unbelievably smooth and vibrant,” he murmured, almost touching her lips.

The tip of his fingers reached the very top of her inner thigh, just where it meets with the pelvic bone, and they wandered along that angle, from her buttock to the front of her thigh and back, making her throw her head back, breathe heavily, and move her hips up and down slowly The sensation was unbelievable. Light as a feather and deep as a cave at the same time. She refrained from moaning, feeling her moan might turn into sob from the intolerable impatience she was feeling now. Her core was on fire but she loved being taken care of by him and she didn’t want to disturb the surreal journey he was making her experience.

Her need reached a summit when his fingers started grazing the pelvic hair, at the surface of her vulva, spreading the wetness that had been escaping from her folds for the last half hour.

Totally at his mercy, she looked at him and whispered, “Please.”

She gasped and squirmed irresistibly from relief when one finger entered her folds and slid down and up inside her vagina, keeping at the entrance first, then exploring deeper, leisurely. Soon after, the finger slid up extremely slowly inside her lubricated vulva, pressing slightly against the pelvic bone, until the pressure covered her clitoris. She jolted and screamed from the sensation. He repeated that same slow movement from her vagina to her clitoris again and again. Her whole body was now trembling, she was digging her nails in his shoulders and the same scream would escape her each time he would reach and press on her wet and aroused bud.

Her relief increased when he started massaging her clitoris only. He was using three fingers and was drawing large and various movements, attentive to what was making her react most. She was now moaning loudly and her head was rocking frantically from left to right. He sped up his movement. To bring her pleasure to perfection, she covered his hand with hers, slightly guiding it and controlling the pressure, and when she felt she was on the verge of climax, she said bluntly in a whisper, “Kiss my breast.”

It was when he had just started to suck hungrily at her nipple that her orgasm submerged her in long waves, making her moans louder and her body arch and jerk in long spasms.

While she was lying still and breathless, eyes closed, he held her, brushing light kisses on her cheeks, her forehead, her eyelids. Her hand was gently stroking his thick hair and she had a sense of tender fulfilment that she didn’t remember having ever felt.

A little later, when her breathing had recovered its normal pace, she opened her eyes. She pushed him gently, rolled him over and her upper body was now on top of his.

While stroking his hair and smiling slightly, she murmured, “I have never been attended to that way.”

He caressed her cheek with the top of his folded fingers. “It is because you have never been loved that way.”

As a response, she trailed kisses on his shoulders and chest, delighting in the curves of his hard muscles. When her lips met one of his nipples, she teased it with her tongue, something she would have never dreamt of doing with her husband or with Richard. With Feodor, she felt that everything was allowed and that the expression of her tenderness and desire was freed from old interdictions. She was probably right to trust her spontaneity because she heard him breathe more heavily and his hand rested on her head, pressing slightly, as to encourage her initiative. Obviously he was enjoying it.

As she felt the waves of desire reawakening in her womb, she brought her lower body closer to his, not ceasing to kiss his breasts. At the contact of his trousers on her legs, she wondered how she could have let him be half dressed while she had been so intimately exposed to him. She then proceeded to do with him what he had done with her. She moved down, knelt and undid his belt and zipper, not failing to notice with slight pride the impressive bulge that was making her operation delicate and her own desire grow. Once the zipper was undone and open, carefully she pulled the top of his underwear down, which caused his erect male member to rise up freely. She quickly watched his face from the corner of her eyes, to check if he was still consenting. Seeing his head slightly turned on one side, his eyes closed and his lips slightly open in order to ease his fast breathing, she knew that this man would give himself to her like he had wanted her to give herself to him.

Reassured, she first allowed herself to appreciate his aroused male attribute. It was definitely long, but not too long. Obviously, its power was mainly in its thickness, which was impressive, and she liked that. She couldn’t help anticipating the feeling of him moving inside her and she felt her impatience get hold of her again. She then pulled his clothes down delicately and dropped them on the floor.

Then she stroked his inner thighs, which made him slightly shiver, and with no hesitation, she gently cupped his testicles and started teasing them between her thumb and her other fingers. His body arched under that touch. When her fingers slid to the basis of his penis and slowly brushed it upwards, any bending that was left gave place to total and straight hardness and a long moan escaped him. She repeated that gentle movement several times, feeling his thigh becoming as hard as stone under her other hand, after what she gently but firmly held his crotch in one hand while teasing its lubricated top with one finger of her other hand.

Suddenly, he bent and grabbed her, rolled her over and in no time, his whole body was on top of hers, and in his eyes was an amount of desire that she had never seen in a man before.

He was moving and pressing his body against hers, her own body was responding, and he talked between the savage kisses that they were now sharing. His voice was so hoarse, it was hardly audible. “You are driving me insane. I have never wanted anyone like I want you.”

He then freed her lower body and stroked her between her legs, much more vigorously than he had done before, only to make sure she was wet and ready, after which he covered her again decidedly, lifted one of her legs and entered her. The depth of pleasure this gave her was overwhelming. She felt her vagina contract against his member, as to keep it there and never let go.

From that moment, everything suddenly slowed down again. He deepened his first thrust slowly until he couldn’t go any deeper. He stopped. He was holding her head, she was clutching to his shoulders and they were lost in each other’s eyes. While hardly moving, an unknown drive was making her relax her vagina, then contract it again, never ending that movement. It was making the tip of his penis expand and move independently from the rest of his body and obviously this was delicious for both of them.

Eventually, he pulled back again and proceeded to move back and forth slowly inside her. They were both moaning and their bodies were caught in that same endless movement for long minutes, until he suddenly stiffened and stopped.

“Please, stop moving. I have wanted you too much and for too long. I would come now.”

“Please, come!”

“No! I want to wait for you!”

Immobile, he started to kiss her lips, then her breast. To that she responded by moving every internal and external part of her lower body more insistently against his. To better reach her purpose, she had encircled him with her long legs, locking her feet together, and was pressing her hands on the basis of his spine. After only few seconds of this, he was moaning and moving again inside her and she knew he was lost, he had surrendered.

She heard his husky voice whispering in her ear: “Dushinka, Dushinka, Dushinka!” while he was speeding up his pace. The pleasure she was feeling from his energetic thrusts within her was immeasurable. It made her get close to an orgasm again, but she knew she wouldn’t reach it this time. She was focusing on attending his only.

They were clutching one another and he was kissing her frantically. When she felt from his movements and breathing rhythm that he was on the verge of ultimate pleasure, she held his head and lifted it. She was watching him when he got submerged by his orgasm, threw his head backward and moaned loudly.

The only remaining sound she could hear when he dropped, defeated and exhausted, on her body, was “Bitch!” A very unusual word in his mouth…


**********
“Are you alright, Ma’am? Do you want me to turn the heating down?”

The sentence snapped her back into the present. She realised her head was leaning backwards on the seat, her cheeks were burning and her breath was short. She blushed even more when she saw the driver’s concerned look in the mirror.

“Uh no, thank you, I am alright.” And to make a diversion, she asked: “Are we still far away from our destination?”

“Another hour, Ma’am.”

They had now reached the hills and they were surrounded by forests and green meadows. The sun was shining and it was beautiful. She pretended to rearrange her bag and items around her, so that she had an excuse to move to the other side of the seat, where the driver couldn’t see her in the mirror. Once she was seated comfortably again, she dove back determinedly into her memories.
**********


She was holding him tightly, his heavy body still connected to hers, and she felt totally content, a feeling that she had experienced very rarely in her life. Yet she was feeling fully aroused again. When was this night going to end? She wondered that with a new twinkle of amusement and excitement, another mixture of feelings rather unknown to her…

A little later, they were lying on their sides, their bodies entwined and facing each other. He was stroking her hair..

He murmured, smiling slightly, “I knew you would surrender eventually.”

“Hmm, how presumptuous! I only came to bed with you so that you wouldn’t go swimming.”

“Liar! If that was so, you wouldn’t have enjoyed it so much.”

She felt her cheeks flush at the memory of her obvious pleasure and she buried her head in the hollow of his shoulder.

He laughed while resting his hand on the back of her head. “Ha ha! It’s too late to be shy!”

She pulled her head back and looked at him seriously again. “Feodor, you are a wonderful lover. I have never made love that way before.”

Gently, he asked, “How did Captain Paterson make love to you?”

She had always been surprised by the bluntness of his questions. But she had learnt to appreciate it. Especially at this point, she thought it was probably healthy for them to tackle any subject openly. “Oh! He was rather having sex than making love, I suppose!”

“You mean he was having sex like a rabbit, taking his own pleasure in no time, then falling asleep?”

“No. He would get into short preliminaries, explore various positions, attend me in some ways, but only because it’s the way a modern gentleman should have sex, so to speak. For instance, he would never look at me when making love and never say a word. He would use his seductive look and conversation before the act, knowing that he would attract me to his bed that way, and it never failed. But once in bed, he was not really there anymore. He was more making love with himself, I guess… I also remember that after the act, he would often ask: “Were you happy?” or “Did you like it?” He would ask this like a formality. In fact, he hadn’t cared during and he didn’t care after. Whatever I would answer or not answer, he would fall asleep all the same.”

“Did you have orgasms with him?”

“Sometimes, not often. If I tried to participate, either towards his pleasure or mine, he would not really follow. It was like it was making him feel awkward. I was feeling awkward in return and on the whole I kept on being quite passive and unsatisfied... It’s rather sad, isn’t it?”

“Did you ever tell him about the problem?”

“At the time, I didn’t know there was a problem. I thought it was just shyness and I believed that our love would lead to more trust and loosen things eventually, not only in our sex life. When I understood that he had no intentions of leaving his wife, although he had told me again and again he would and that there was nothing between them anymore, I knew he had always seen me as a convenient mistress, nothing more. A mistress to whom you lie if it makes things easier. That’s when I left him.” She paused and he respected her silence. Then she added, almost whispering “I loved how you looked at me when making love.”

He rolled over a little to be on top of her. “It would be a sin not to look at you. You are incredibly beautiful when you are pleasured.” After a pause, he added: “And I will pleasure you much more, soon and always.”

With a twinkle in her eyes, she asked: “And if I pleasure you some more, will you call me “bitch” again?”

He answered with a broad smile: “Maybe, but it’s a kind of bitch that I like very much!”

His lips met hers and started to brush them lightly. It was delicious and innerving at the same time. She parted hers slightly and he trailed the tip of his tongue between them, then he started teasing the tip of her own tongue. It was even more enjoyable than a deeper kiss. She felt a new wave of desire rush through her, but his lips parted from hers.

“This was a foretaste of more pleasure, but first, let’s celebrate!”

“Celebrate?”

“Would you like some champagne?”

She then stretched her arms languorously and smiled. “Hmm, yes, and some water too.”

He dropped a light kiss on her lips and murmured, “At your service, Madame”, before getting up, wrapping a towel around his waist and disappearing inside the living room.

They drank champagne in bed, they flirted again, they made love once more, lengthily, and this time, they reached their orgasms almost at the same time. As if she didn’t deserve fully that happiness, or maybe as the expression of the anxiety that would remain in her as long as he was not safely living in Canada, a nightmare seized her in the middle of the night. She felt incredibly relieved when she came back to her senses and found herself in his embrace. They made love again, and did again in the morning. They seemed to never have enough of each other.


**********

“Now, let’s make plans. When are you joining me in Canada?”

They were having a generous late breakfast on their terrace, enjoying the view to the ocean. A light breeze was cooling the air. At his question, she felt anxious again.

“Oh Feodor, I wish I was there already, and you too. I wish all this danger was behind us.”

He put his hand on hers reassuringly. “Everything will be all right. I don’t like Mr. Loder but I have seen him at work. I trust his infallible organisation.”

“I hope you are right… I guess I will need his help in order to join you, don’t you think?”

“Most certainly. Listen, I’ll leave a note for Loder, to Mister McLeod who is here. When you are back in London, Loder will contact you. He will arrange everything. He will probably change your identity in England, then again in Canada.” After a pause, he continued. “Dushinka, you will leave everything behind you. You might never go to England again. Are you sure you want this?”

With a twinkle in her eyes, she answered, “What if I said “No”?”

“I would kidnap you from here”

Smiling, she rested her hand on his cheek. “You won’t need to. I will join you.”

He took her hand and kissed her palm. “Tell me, what are you leaving behind? You never told me anything about your family.”

“Oh, my father died 15 years ago, I loved him very much. I have very little contact with my mother. She is a rather egocentric and very busy lady who never cared much about her children. Other than that, I have a brother who lives in Kenya, in Africa. I guess my friends are more important to me than my family. I don’t have many but we count for each other.”

“That’s another thing Mister Loder will help you with. What to say to your family and friends… You realise that nobody must be in your confidence…”

“I hadn’t thought of that yet, but of course… Oh, I hope all this won’t take too long!”

They spent the day reading, talking further about their lives and playing chess. He had asked her if she could play and they had had a chess board brought to them. Like many intellectual Russians, and a military officer on top of it, Feodor was very good at chess and almost unbeatable, but he was surprised at how difficult she had made his victories.

While sipping a coffee on their terrace, he asked her about her late husband. She said that they had never been terribly close and that she had felt guilty after his death because she had never tried to remedy the distance between them.

“Why did you marry?”

“We shouldn’t have. We had been college friends, he wanted to be married and I was free and wanted a reason to live away from my mother. We knew we were not in love somehow, but we thought we could make it work. We never could. On the contrary, it was hell on earth after the first year.”

“It sounds a little like my story with my wife.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Marriages for the wrong reasons.”

”If he hadn’t been killed, I would have left him.”

He smiled at her. “Well, you won’t be allowed to leave me.”

She reached her hand to his cheek. “You are the most persistent man I have ever met.”

“Do you mind?”

She looked and him intensely and murmured, “No!” She pulled her hand back and looked puzzled again. “But Feodor… Before we make long term plans, I think it would be better if I first joined you for two or three months. I could take that time off, I am sure. Then, from there, we could decide better.”

“Do you doubt your love for me or my love for you?”

“I am very much in love with you and I don’t doubt your love, Feodor. I have never felt with anybody the way I feel with you. But we haven’t known each other for long, we haven’t spent that much time together and the circumstances have been so strange, unusual so far... We can’t know for sure how we would feel together on a day to day basis, can we?”

He reached for her cheek and smiled. “My cautious Dushinka! If that is the way you want it, so be it. But I can promise you that you will not want to leave me.”

She kissed his hand and smiled.

By evening, they were surprised that their involvement in the chess game and in their talks had prevented them from making love during the day. He said mischievously that he would make sure they made up for it that night, their second and last night together in Barbados!

Before they ordered their room service dinner, he wanted once more to go swimming. He was not a man to stay for long in a confined space and he hated not to be free. Judith had almost succeeded in convincing him not to swim, having asked him to renounce his intention if he loved her.

Then she got tired of her own seriousness and decided to bring some playfulness into the matter, surprising herself at her bluntness. “And what if, instead, I undress for you to your favourite music?”

He looked at her teasingly before saying, “Oh, I would miss any swim for that.”

She went to the record player, started “Play it again”, the song to which they had danced weeks before in London, then she took his hand and led him to his bedroom. She made him stand still by the top of the bed, walked a few steps away, faced him and, never looking away from his eyes, started to unbutton her shirt very slowly.


Audio: Play it again - Tamarind Seed (John Barry)
http://media.putfile.com/Tamarind-Seed---Play-it-again---John-Barry


When she had taken her shirt off, she pulled the straps of her bra down and cupped the bottom of one of her breasts, applying pressure so that the top was rounder and harder. With her other hand, she caressed it through the half transparent lace, revealing the growing erection of her nipple. At that point, she saw him swallowing his saliva with difficulty and although her eyes didn’t leave his, she could catch a glimpse of the bulk forming under his belt. This excited her even more and encouraged her to continue her game.

She fondled her nipple a little longer, then proceeded to pull the lace of her cup down, extremely slowly. Once it had revealed the darker area above her nipple, she stopped and stroked her skin there, increasing the pressure of her other hand on the bottom of her breast, making it look as if her hard nipple was about to come off the lace by itself, but it didn’t yet. She then slid her finger under the lace, and stroked her hidden nipple until her movement made the lacy cup slide down by itself, revealing her full breast. She kept teasing her nipple. The pleasure she was getting from the touch, and even more from his eyes on her, was such that her head was now pulled slightly back and her mouth was half open. She could hardly believe she was doing this and she was not sure how far she would be able to take it.

Nevertheless, she gave the same exact treatment to her other breast, then took off her bra completely. She then unzipped her trousers and took them off slowly, after which she bent a little and stroked her inner thighs from her knees to the top. Once there, she brushed one finger back and forth, along the surface of her vulva, through her panties. She jerked a little each time her finger brushed over her swollen clitoris and she could feel her wetness coming through the thin material. She was hearing his breathing becoming heavier. His head was now pulled back and he was closing his eyes intermittently as if he could not take it all. But obviously he was determined to not do anything before she asked.

She took her panties off which left her totally naked. She started to stroke the upper part of her pubic hair, then she slid one finger down and into her folds and started to masturbate slowly. In a husky voice, she ordered him, “Undress!”

He did so slowly, not leaving her eyes, totally in tune with the atmosphere she had created. She kept on masturbating. When he was undressed, his promising member fully erect, she whispered, “Now, come and do as you please.”

He joined her in no time, lifting her and lying her across the bed. He covered her with his body and they lost themselves in a passionate embrace, stroking and kissing every inch of each other’s skin. He then got up, grabbed her legs and pulled her so that her buttocks were resting on the edge of the bed, her feet resting on the floor. He bent over her and kissed her nipples avidly, then he kissed her down to her pelvic hair and knelt between her legs. He gently parted her folds and his tongue dove into her vagina. He moved his tongue in and out and she squirmed and moaned under the divine feeling. He then licked her up slowly and when he reached her clitoris, she jolted and screamed. He kept moving his tongue for a little longer, then focused on her clitoris again. First he kept his tongue soft, then he hardened it progressively while reaching for her nipples with his fingers and teasing them. He had learnt already which exact part of her clitoris was the most sensitive and he was moving his hardened tongue just there, faster and faster. She was massaging into his hair, her whole body was now trembling and her moan was continuous.

When he suddenly interrupted his treatment and got up, she felt totally shocked and frustrated but the following second, he had already put his arms under her knees, had lifted her legs and he was inside her, moving in and out most vigorously already, filling her with another wonderful sensation.

When he looked at her and whispered: “Touch yourself!”, she understood that he had no intentions of taking things slowly from there. She obeyed graciously and the combination of her bud being rubbed, together with the ongoing thrusts of his member inside her and with their mouths avidly kissing each other, was more divine than anything.

It was Judith who had to control her pleasure and she managed to murmur against his mouth, “I am waiting for you.”

He abandoned her mouth and locked his eyes to hers, and when his movements became frantic, he hissed, “Now!”

She let her own movements totally free and soon after, she screamed and dug her nails in his shoulder when she reached her climax. As he suddenly nibbled hard at her nipples and didn’t cease the intensity of his thrusts, her orgasm was extremely long, one wave leading to another, and she was still in the core of it when he threw his head up and cried a long moan of relief.

This was only the beginning of their second night together.


**********

When she woke up the next morning, the bed was empty and she was hearing voices coming from the living room. She recognised McLeod’s. She closed her eyes, wishing she could go back into the night, into Feodor’s embrace and never have to go through today…

When she left the bedroom, Feodor was alone on the terrace, sipping a cup of coffee and smoking. Before she joined him, she watched that beautiful man who now was hers and would remain hers if events permitted. She could see his profile, He was slightly frowning while fingering his tea spoon. He was not as relaxed as he wanted her to believe and this increased her anxiety.

She came from behind him, gently slid her hands over his chest and buried her head in the hollow of his neck, kissing it. He held her arms and kissed her cheek with infinite tenderness in return. They stayed like this for a moment.

When she had sat down and was sipping her coffee, his features had recovered their calmness. “Mr. Mc Leod just left. I gave him the note for Loder. I will be picked up here in two hours.”

She bit her lips and couldn’t help burying her face in her hands.

He touched her arm and said gently, “Dushinka…”

She gathered herself. “I am sorry. I am so anxious! I know it’s no use but I can’t help it.”

“In few weeks, we will be together.”

“I know. I hope so.”

“And we will stay in bed for a whole week.”

She blushed a little and she managed to smile at him.

Half an hour later, she was upstairs where her own bedroom was, finishing getting dressed. That’s when the tragedy happened. The explosion, her running to her door and opening it, the storm of fire rushing onto her, then nothing.


**********

When she woke up at the local hospital, St. Patricia’s nursing home, her face, her neck and her left arm were aching badly from the burns. She had to wait for the head nurse to learn what had happened and what had become of Feodor. The head nurse told her about the electrical fault which probably had caused the explosion and that Mister Sverdlov had been killed, which was confirmed later by the police officer who visited her.


**********

Two weeks later, while resting in the garden of the nursing home, she hated to see Mister Loder approaching her with his sinister look. She knew very well that an electrical fault had not been the reason of the tragedy. Loder had not been able to protect them. The man she had grown to love like no one else was dead. What was Loder doing here?

When she opened reluctantly the blank envelope that he had handed over to her, and found one of the magic tamarind seeds in it, she stared at it and her heart was beating confusedly. “Where did you get this?”

“He isn’t dead, Mrs Farrow. He is alive. In Canada…Obviously, he was outside, at the back of the bungalow when the explosion occurred. When he heard the explosion, McLeod dashed and found him there, unconscious, a few yards from the bungalow. He had two of our men take Sverdlov to his bungalow while he ran inside to rescue you.”

Before leaving her, Loder added: “If you want to see him, it will be arranged. Good bye, Mrs Farrow.”

Tears were running along her cheeks. She was trembling and holding the Tamarind seed against her heart.

She had to wait for two more weeks before recovering enough to be able to fly back home. From there, the arrangements that needed to be done by Loder took four more weeks. She was supposedly going for three months to Australia where she had an imaginary old friend, in order to complete her physical and mental recovery after the late painful events. She indeed flew to Australia where her identity was changed and flew to Vancouver the next day where her identity was changed again. She now was Ms Helena Worthington and she was joining her lover, Christopher Watson. Yet another flight took her to Alberta.

**********
That last flight had been this morning. The car was now climbing a narrow and steep road. A small wooded valley was visible on her right and beautiful green mountains were standing all around, some with their tops still snowy from winter. The sun was shining and she could guess from the quality of the light that the air outside must be much colder than where she had come from.

She leaned towards the front seat. “Excuse me, how much longer before we arrive?”

“About twenty minutes, Ma’am.”

“Would you mind if I sit in the front seat for the rest of the trip? I’d like to have a better view.”

“Certainly.” He parked the car on the side and began to open his door.

“That’s ok, I’ll manage.”

When she was out of the car, she breathed deeply in and she felt the crispy air bite the skin of her cheeks. Once seated at the front, she smiled politely at the driver. “Thank you.”

Her heart was beating. From now on she would stay in the present for the rest of the journey.


To be continued…