I Never Knew

Padme shifted uncomfortably in her seat. She tried to tell herself it was just the extra weight of carrying two babies that was making her so utterly uncomfortable; after all, she was just about seven months pregnant now. She thought for a moment about the look of sheer surprise which had crossed her husbands face when she’d told him she was having twins. Padme, however, wasn’t surprised at all by the fact; somehow she’d sensed it right from the beginning.

She tried to think of anything other than just how uncomfortable and full of anxiety she was as she sat there in her ship. They were supposed to have taken off some time ago yet they stood by idly at the busy spaceport, waiting. She let her mind wander back through the last few months and to all that had gone on. She remembered the scandal that had erupted a few months back ,when she’d announced her sudden retirement from the senate. She also remembered the even bigger scandal that arose when word got out on the holonet of her and Bail’s impending wedding.

Padme looked down at her sparkling new wedding band. She loved to look at the ring. It announced to the world that she was loved, and that she was taken. There was a time when she thought that she would never have anything like this. There was a time that she was in love with Anakin and had wanted nothing more than to shout it from the rooftops of Coruscant. Sadly, that had never come to pass. Turned out that she and Anakin were never officially married anyway; apparently droids were not considered legal witnesses in a wedding ceremony.

‘Anakin.’

Padme thought back to the last time she had seen Anakin. He had waited for her in the apartment, fresh from Obi-Wan’s arms; or rather, fresh from between Obi-Wan’s legs. He had looked so happy, so content, so…so unlike any way she had ever seen him before. That had been when she’d decided to let him go. She should have given him to Obi-Wan long before that night. It was where he had belonged all the while.

Her thoughts came back to the increasing anxiety she felt as her ship prepared, finally, for takeoff. She saw her husband coming towards her and she tried to put her mind at ease in his presence. He kissed her lightly on the cheek before he made his way towards the front of the ship. Padme buckled herself in and closed her eyes. As she drifted off into fitful sleep this is what she saw:

Anakin stood in a dark room. He was still quite handsome, but battle worn, and definitely older. An older, greyer Obi-Wan placed his hand discreetly on Anakin’s back for a moment. There were unspoken words of pride and more importantly- love exchanged. He took his place next to Anakin as a door opened and closed. Two people, a young man and woman, were ushered into the room and there was the sudden soft whir of twelve light sabers being ignited. The room was aglow with soft light as the two young beings approached Master Yoda and knelt before him.

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Obi-Wan felt Anakin start to shudder beneath him. He began to thrust his hips harder, and faster. The now familiar sounds of their lovemaking filled the room. Anakin bucked his hips violently as the final waves of pleasure crashed down over them. As usual, they lay exhausted in each other’s arms, trying to catch their breath.

Obi-Wan playfully broke the silence. “I guess it doesn’t hurt anymore does it, young one?”

Anakin tried to think of something clever to say, but instead he pushed Obi-Wan off and onto the other side of the bed as they both broke into laughter. Obi-Wan reveled in these precious, intimate moments with his lover, especially now.

As of late, Obi-Wan had been rocked by an unexplainable feeling of….something. He wasn’t exactly sure what, but- he was sure it was the same disturbance he had felt in the first few days he and Anakin had been home from battle. Qui-Gon’s last words to him started to ring in his head as he felt a strong surge in the Force. He looked to Anakin, who had obviously felt it too. The two men wasted no time; they quickly got dressed and made their way to the Council room.

The mood in the Council room was very somber as they found their seats amongst the other members. Obi-Wan had a very bad feeling in the pit of his stomach as again Qui-Gon’s words came to him…

‘I believe that Anakin will need you more than ever in the months to come.’

Obi-Wan glanced over to where Anakin sat. He was sure he had never seen him look more afraid. Anakin looked as if the world was about to come crashing down around him.

Yoda scanned the faces around the room. He knew instinctively that two of the members in this room would soon have their lives flipped upside down, turned inside out. He started to speak, not sure if his heart had ever felt heavier with the burden of bad news. He closed his eyes and brought forth all the strength of the Force before he spoke.

“Great disturbance in the Force, you all felt. Sad news I have to give.”

Anakin and Obi-Wan exchanged nervous glances.

Yoda started again, “An accident there has been. Dead, Senator Organa is.”

With that news Anakin shot up out of his seat.

“An accident? What kind of accident? He can’t be…what about Padme? Is she alright? Was she, I mean is she…tell me where she is.” Anakin felt the hurt burn in him. He wanted to run over to Obi-Wan, he wanted to cry, he wanted to be reassured that Padme was alright.

“Gravely hurt, she is, young Skywalker. Great danger the babies are in. Go to her, you and Master Kenobi will.” Yoda looked to Obi-Wan and saw that beneath his usual calm demeanor he was hurting for Anakin. Yoda was no fool. He knew of Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon years ago, just as he knew about Anakin and Obi-Wan now; just as he knew the secret that Padme had kept from Anakin, had kept from the world.
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Anakin and Obi-Wan made quick time to the hospital where Padme lay dying. They quickly ascertained where she was being kept and demanded to be let in.

“Obi-Wan Kenobi? The nurse droid asked the two of them.

Obi-Wan looked as confused as Anakin looked hurt. “Yes, I am Obi-Wan”

“She wants to see you, and only you.” The droid informed them.

Anakin was enraged. “ Why would she want to see only Obi-Wan, I was her husband you stupid hunk of metal. Let me in there, she wants to see me.”

“You must be Anakin? I have strict orders not to let you in, sir.”

“She’s dying. She is going to die, and I can’t see her? What the fuck is that about…I said let me go and see her.” Anakin was now screaming like a madman. His eyes stung with salty tears of rage and hurt.

“Anakin, let me go in. I am sure she will want to see you, I will try…just let me go in. With that, a shaken Obi-Wan made his way in to see Padme.

Her eyes were closed and she hardly looked like she was breathing at all. Obi-Wan stared at her for what seemed like an eternity, waiting. He took a seat by the bed and took her hand in his. As his fingers closed over hers his mind filled with images, her images. He saw the accident, saw Bail dead; he also saw Anakin. He suddenly saw more clearly than he ever had before.

“Anakin is the father?” Obi-Wan said aloud, stunned.

He squeezed Padme’s hand as a tear came to his eye. She opened her eyes and looked into his; looked into his soul. There in her eyes he found his answer. Anakin was indeed the father. He squeezed Padme’s hand as her eyes closed forever. She was gone.

Anakin burst into the room with a whole slew of droids after him. Obi-Wan got up from the chair and gestured to them that it was okay. They noticed the incessant sound of the flat line that came from the machine by Padme’s bed and realized she was gone. They left the men alone with her.

Anakin dropped to his knees in front of Padme’s bed. Obi-Wan walked joined him on the floor. He drew Anakin to him and held him tight.

“Obi-Wan, why her? She was a good person…and what about those babies? What are they going to do? Who will watch over them? They have nobody.”

It dawned on Obi-Wan that Anakin still did not know.

“Anakin, it is through the will of the Force that those babies are alive.” Obi-Wan looked for reaction from Anakin.

“The Force? How is the Force keeping them alive? The Force does not keep babies of senators alive, Obi-Wan.” Anakin said through his tears.

“Anakin, their father is not dead.” Obi-Wan said quietly.

“Bail is dead, Obi-Wan.” Anakin looked so hurt and so confused. “Obi-Wan? Is Bail not dead, did he somehow…”

“Anakin, Bail was not their father. The Force is strong in these children. Your strength through the Force is keeping those babies alive. You are the father, Anakin. Those babies are yours and Padme‘s. You are their father.”

“I am…? How is that possible Obi-Wan? She would have told me. She couldn’t have kept that a secret from me. Could she?” Anakin was beside himself. He suddenly remembered back to that night when Padme had passed out. He had sensed something then, had he not?

Anakin got up off the floor and leaned over the bed. He bent to kiss Padme and spoke to her as if she were still there. Little did he know she was. He whispered words of love and regret and made her a promise to take care of those babies, of his babies.

He whispered to her, “I never knew, Padme, I never knew.”

Anakin looked to Obi-Wan, who seemed to stare at nothing in the corner of the room. Anakin could not see what he could see; he could not see that Padme stood, watching over the two of them, hearing every promise that Anakin made. He could not see Qui-Gon where he stood next to Padme, his hands on her shoulders; ready to guide her into the light.

The nurse droids made their way back into the room and ushered Anakin and Obi-Wan out. Obi-Wan looked to Anakin and saw their future flash before his eyes. It would be difficult, yes; but it would be okay, they were together, this was their destiny.

Obi-Wan put his arm around Anakin. “Let’s go and meet your children.”