Unnatural Love

Author’s Note: Hey guys, that sex scene felt a little lacking to me. Did it to you? I’ll try to get better. Anyway, if you’re still reading this, thanks!!

 

Chapter 9-

  Leia awakened from a deep sleep the next morning. The sense that something important had happened was upon her, but the actual memory eluded her.

Rolling onto her side, she felt the slide of soft silk sheets upon her skin. All at once, she remembered.

She remembered returning to quiet quarters. Eating alone. The few hours when Vader had remained in his office. She had wondered if she had said or done anything to upset him. When he had finally emerged, she had been concerned. And then his question. So softly delivered, but so loudly heard. It had rocked her world.

 ‘I was stupid to think that I’d never have to sleep with him.’

It was pleasurable, there was no denying that. The way his hands felt caressing her body; the feel of his lips on her breasts. The touch of his finger between her legs. Then the transcending pleasure of her climax. She had been so caught up in her pleasure, she had barely heard that he hadn’t reacted to the pleasure at all.

 Recalling that detail, she instantaneously wondered if she had done anything to displease him.

‘Was there something he was expecting that I didn’t do? Was I not good enough? Was he upset with my reaction?’ Her mind flooded with a hundred different worries.

 And he had thanked her.

 Leia had been perplexed as to why he would say that. Firstly, he was Darth Vader. He didn’t thank anyone. Second, he was older than she was. So he had to have had better sex than what they’d had last night.

‘Unless he’s like Luke.’

‘No.’ She quickly decided. ‘Vader definitely knew what he was doing. So there has to have been someone else in his past.’

 Putting her restless thoughts out of her mind, she got out of bed. She added a shower to her morning routine, since she hadn’t had the chance to bathe the night before.

 A couple of hours later, Leia arrived at the Alliance base. Seeking out Luke was a chore. After looking for an hour, she decided to search for him later.

‘Paperwork doesn’t get itself done.’

Spending a long day in meetings and reviewing the training of the troops with Mon Mothma, Leia was thoroughly ready to rest when the day came to a close. Walking toward the hangar, she comtemplated where Luke could be.

“Leia!”

 Turning around, she saw Luke running towards her.

“Where have you been?” she worriedly asked.

“Scouting, training the troops, that sort of thing.” Luke answered.

“Do you have some time?” she asked.

“Sure. Why?”

“I need to talk to you.”

 Leaving the corridor to the hangar, they began the walk to Luke’s quarters, talking about their day on the way. Arriving at his quarters about ten minutes later; Luke let Leia in first and then came in behind her. Once the door had slid closed he turned to her.

“What did you want to talk about?” he asked while getting her a glass of water.

Leia sat down at the bar across from him. Looking into her glass she said “Vader and I had sex last night.”

Luke stared at her. “You what?!” he asked after a couple of moments.

“Vader. Myself. Sex. Last night. Do you need me to write it out?” she sarcastically asked.

“Sorry. The news shocked me. Can I ask why?”

“I don’t know. He asked, I said yes.”

“Least he asked.” Luke mumbled.

Leia fixed Luke with a glare. “Contrary to what you think, Vader is an incredibly nice man,” she said.

“Oh really?” Luke retorted. “Is he nice to all those people he tortures and kills?!”

“I don’t know. I’m not around him when he does that. But when he’s around me, he is a perfect gentlemen. Maybe you could take a couple lessons from him!”

“Leia,” Luke sighed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I really don’t want to fight with you.”

“I’m sorry too,” Leia said.

“Did you like it?” he asked

“Like what?” Leia asked, confused.

“Sex. Did you like it?”

“Very much,” she answered, looking at her water again.

Luke nodded.

“That’s actually what I wanted to talk to you about,” she said.

“You wanted to talk to me about your night with Vader?” Luke asked.

“Yes. Well, not all of it. Just one part. Do men thank women after having sex with them?”

“Maybe some of them do,” he answered. “He thanked you? For what?”

“I don’t know. He didn’t say what for.”

“So…you two just decided to have sex?”

“Not really. When I got back yesterday, he was in his office. I didn’t see him for hours. When I did see him, it was in the kitchen. He had just finished drinking something, I don’t know what it was. I asked if he was alright. He said he didn’t know. Then he asked if my offer applied to that night. I said it did. He asked if we could sleep together, and I said sure.”

“And….” Luke prompted.

“And we did it. End of story.”

“I mean was he nice to you. Did he treat you with respect, that sort of thing.”

“Yes, he did. Why do you worry so much about that?”

“Because I’m not there to protect you if he doesn’t,” Luke answered staring into her eyes. “And I don’t care if he is next in line for the throne, if he hurts you I will kill him.”

“Thank you,” Leia said. “But he won’t.”

“How do you know?” Luke asked.

“Because I trust him,” she answered.

Luke looked at her incredulously.

“That doesn’t mean I don’t love you Luke. It just means that I don’t believe he’s going to do anything to hurt me. I’ve known him since I was an infant. He never did anything then, he won’t now.”

“Do you love him?” Luke whispered.

“Yes and no. I love him like a daughter would love a father. Bail never really was a father to me. Vader made up for that. But do I love him like I love you? No.”

Leia watched Luke process the information. When he looked back at her, she asked “Are you okay?”

“Yes,” Luke answered. “I don’t want to lose you though.”

“You won’t. I love you. Nothing will change that,” she said, reaching across the counter and taking his hand.

“He’s rich. Smart. Powerful. He can give you things I can’t.”

“Maybe so. It still doesn’t change that I love you.”

Luke gave a half smile. “I love you,” he said, squeezing her hand.

“I love you too.”

“Can I ask what you and Vader were fighting about the other day?” Leia asked.

Luke inwardly froze. Outwardly he said “Discussion of politics. Our views didn’t mesh.”

“That was one heated discussion.”

“Yeah. I guess it got a little out of hand.” Luke said.

“Do you want to go get something to eat?” Leia asked. “I’m starving.”

Nodding, Luke silently thanked the Force that Leia had let the matter go. The two ate and then spent a few hours with their friends playing poker before Leia had to leave.

Walking her to the hangar, Luke said “I’ll be gone for a while. I have a mission to go on, and I don’t know how long it will take.”

“Okay,” Leia sadly said.

“I’ll miss you,” he softly said, pulling her body to his and wrapping his arms around her.

Leia smiled and said “I’ll miss you too.”

Not caring that she was married, Luke leaned down and kissed her with all the love he felt for her.

“Be careful,” she whispered once their kiss had stopped.

“You too,” he said, kissing her once again.

Giving him one more smile, Leia turned and went into the ship. Luke watched her take off before he started back to his apartment.

The rest of the night was hell for Luke. Ignoring his Jedi training, he let himself feel the anger. He reveled in it. It felt good to let go, just for once. Vader just had to take everything away from him. Maybe it was his plan to make Luke suffer. Maybe he enjoyed being a…a…. “I need to calm down,’ Luke thought. Being this angry wasn’t a good thing. He didn’t want to become the next Darth Vader.

Taking a few deep breaths, Luke calmed himself down.

‘You can’t control what he does or doesn’t do with Leia. She’s his wife, not yours’, he told himself.

But that didn’t make it any easier to bear.

 

 

 

 

 

Two weeks later-

 Returning from his mission, Luke unpacked his things. Calling Leia; he asked when they could see each other again.

“How about tonight?” she enthusiastically asked.

“Okay.”

“Great! See you then!”

Catching up on the work that had piled up while he had been gone, he passed the time. Arriving at Leia’s home at the appropriate time, he went in.

“Hello?” he called.

Getting no response, he walked further into the apartment. Not feeling anything in the Force, Luke started to get a little worried. It wasn’t like Leia to tell him what time to meet and then not be there. Going into the kitchen, he looked around for signs that somewhere had recently been there. Seeing none, he turned around and gasped in shock and surprise when he saw Vader standing behind him.

“Where did you come from?” he asked.

“Seeing as this is my home, I think you should be the one answering that question,” Vader returned.

“Leia said to be here at this time,” Luke answered.

“She isn’t here,” Vader said. “You scare easily, for a Jedi.”

Luke looked at Vader. “You startled me. I didn’t feel you.”

“That’s the purpose of shields. You aren’t supposed to.” Vader said, crossing his arms.

Luke rolled his eyes. “Thank you. I never knew that,” he sarcastically retorted.

Vader softly sighed. “I have no interest in fighting with you,” he said.

“Really?” Luke disbelievingly said. “Every other time you see me you do.”

“That’s not true,” Vader said, moving past him and standing with his back to Luke.

“Yes it is!” Luke cried. 

“No it isn’t!” Vader yelled, turning around to face him. “When have you ever attempted to have peace between the two of us? Every time I see you, hate flies from your eyes. What have I ever done to you?”

Luke looked at Vader warily. He had never felt the force of Vader’s anger before. Heard about it, yes. Experienced it, no.

“What haven’t you done?” he asked.

“Force above. Would you just answer the question?! I swear, you are just like your mother!”

Luke stared at Vader in shock.

‘Shit’ Vader thought.

“How do you know Luke’s mother?” Leia asked, coming in and looking at the two.

Luke tore his gaze from Vader to look at Leia. “When did you get here?” he asked.

“Just now. It seems you two can’t be left alone together. Every time you are, you fight with each other.”

“It’s nothing Leia,” Luke said.

“Nothing? Do you think I’m stupid? That was a lot more than ‘nothing’”.

Luke looked at Vader who gave a small shake of his head, looked upward with his eyes and shrugged all at once.

“It’s your decision,” Vader softly said.

Leia looked from one to the other. “Would one of you please tell me what is going on?”

“There is something I haven’t told you,” Luke said after a few moments of silence.

“And that would be…” Leia prompted.

“Vader is….my father,” Luke sighed.

Leia stared at Luke. “No no no,” she said. “Anakin Skywalker was your father. Vader killed him.”

Luke gave a small shake of his head. Leia looked at Vader. “Is this true?” she asked.

Vader looked at her. “Don’t you trust him?” he asked.

“Oh my god,” she breathed as reality sunk in.“Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked looking at Luke.

“Because there was a time when I didn’t want to believe it. I didn’t want it to be true. But deep down, I knew it was. Yoda confirmed what he had told me,” Luke explained gesturing to Vader. “I didn’t tell anyone.”

“But why?” Leia asked.

“Have you seen the way people treat me?” Luke said. “They hear my last name and they either love me or hate me. What do you think would happen if people knew I was Vader’s son? I don’t need them judging me before they know me.”

“You barely know me, and yet you judge me.” Vader said.

“I don’t need to know you!” Luke said. “You’re just like every Sith in the history of the galaxy. All they wanted was power. You did whatever it took to achieve your goal.”

“Once again, you were not there. You cannot pass judgment until after you know the truth.” Vader retorted.

“Okay, maybe you two need to separate,” Leia suggested.

Luke nodded his assent. Vader left the room and went into his office.

“You two really don’t get along do you?” Leia asked.

“Not really.” Luke answered.

“Why don’t you take the time to get to know him? He isn’t that bad. And you’ve said you always wanted to know what your father was like.”

Luke looked at her. “Please?” Leia asked. “Just try. For me.”

Luke contemplated what she had just asked. “I’ll try.”

Leia smiled. “Thank you,” she said, kissing his cheek.

After a few hours, Vader left his office and sat down on the floor of the common room. Luke and Leia and eaten and caught up on the past two weeks that they had been apart. Leia was now in she and Vader’s bedroom reading. Using the Force, Vader turned on the gas fireplace and stared into the flames.

“Hey,” Luke softly said. Vader looked up at Luke out of the corner of his eye.

“Hi,” he softly returned.

“May I sit with you?” Luke asked.

Vader nodded.

Luke sat beside Vader on his right side. The two were silent for a few minutes before Vader said “For once you’re not yelling at me. What changed?”

“Leia said a couple of things that made me think. I’ve accused you of things without knowing the entire story. I’d at least like to know why you did what you did. Would you mind telling me?” Luke asked.

“What would you like to know?” Vader asked, drawing his legs up and wrapping his arms around them.

“Why did you turn to the Dark Side?” Luke asked.

“To save your mother from dying,” Vader softly said, moving to a criss-cross position.

Looking over at Luke and seeing his expression of surprise, Vader sighed and gave himself over to the memories.

“Your mother and I had fallen in love and gotten married three years before you were born. When she got pregnant, it was a complete surprise. I had been gone for five months with the war, and she told me when I got back. I was ecstatic. I determined that I would leave the Order so that I could be a father to you. But that night, I had a vision of your mother dying in childbirth. It terrified me. I didn’t want to lose her. She said it had been a dream. But I’d had visions before, and they always came true. I searched for some way to save her. I even went to Yoda for help. But all I got was “train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose.” Easy for him to say. It became utterly clear to me in that moment that Yoda had never been in love. While I was trying to find a way to save her, the endless game of politics was being played between Palpatine and the Council. He appointed me to be his personal representative on the Council. They didn’t approve, but they conceded anyway. But they wanted me to spy on Palpatine. That wasn’t a big deal. I bore no feelings of loyalty or friendship to him. But I hated being the middle man. One evening, Palpatine asked me to meet him. After he had told me the news to pass on to the Council, he started talking about Jedi and Sith. During the conversation, he told me the story of Darth Plagueis. Supposedly, Plagueis had been able to save people from dying. I was so desperate that I didn’t see it for the trap it was. The next day, I found out that Palpatine was the Sith lord we had been looking for ever since the start of the war. I went to Master Windu, who sat on the Council. He took three other masters to arrest Palpatine. He told me to stay behind and wait until they had returned. All that time, I sat in the Council chambers. I knew what I had to do, but I didn’t want to do it. But your mother’s life was more important to me. I never realized how easily I played into Palpatine’s hands until it was too late. By that time, the Jedi were either dead or in hiding. The Republic had been transformed and your mother was dead.”

Luke stared at Vader. “Why did she die?”

“Because I was selfish. I was so blinded by fear that I couldn’t remember the true way to save someone. It’s not by holding on to your selfish desires. It is by letting go of them, and giving your will over to the Force that someone is saved from death. By the time your mother found out what I’d done, I was in the Outer Rim on a mission that Palpatine had sent me on. She had flown out to talk to me about it. Obi-Wan had told her that I’d turned to the Dark Side, and she wanted to know if it was true. The conversation didn’t go well. Eventually I saw Obi-Wan at the top of the ramp to her ship. I still had a lot of the Dark Side in me from the mission I had just finished up and jumped to conclusions. The wrong conclusions. I accused your mother of bringing him to kill me and….I choked her,” Vader softly said. “When I let her go, she fell unconscious. That was the last time I ever saw her alive. The next time I saw her, she was being carried in a coffin. My heart was shattered. Nothing mattered anymore. I wanted to die. I performed every task Palpatine asked me to with acrimony. When I was alone, I drank and did drugs. I wasn’t at all the man people thought I was. I was strong on the outside. But on the inside, it was different. I raged and screamed and cursed the Force. I wanted to know why it had taken the two people I loved most away from me. I suppose the reason I have any shred of sanity left today is because of my father. I went for ten years believing that you and your mother had died at my hand. When I found out that you were alive, it changed my world. I had a reason to live again. I wanted to make the galaxy a better place, and fix what I had helped destroy. Through those years, I had fought to keep a shred of light alive in me. It became easier once I found out about you.”

Pausing, Vader looked at Luke. “When I told you what I did on Cloud City, it was because I thought you deserved to know the truth. I never imagined you would take it the way you did. I never meant to hurt you, physically or emotionally. If I could go back in time and change everything that has happened, I would. But I can’t. If you get nothing else out of this, please understand that I love you. You mean more to me than anyone in the galaxy. You have no idea how much joy the knowledge that you were alive brought me. I don’t want to fight with you. I never did. All I want to do is give you the love you should have had all along.”

Luke stared at Vader. “You love me?” he whispered incredulously.

“With all my heart,” Vader answered, wiping the tear from Luke’s face that he hadn’t been able to prevent from falling.

“All my life I dreamed that my parents were still alive,” Luke said, on the verge of tears. “I wanted them to come and take me away. But Uncle Owen said that they didn’t want me. That they never wanted me. And no one ever would. He said it so much I started to believe him. When you told me you were my father, it thrilled and scared me. I was happy to have a parent. But I remembered what Owen had said. I convinced myself that you would never want me, that you didn’t even want to think about me. That way, when the inevitable rejection came, I wouldn’t be so hurt. But deep down, even though I said I hated you, I knew it was a lie.”

“I’m sorry Owen treated you terribly,” Vader said, “and that I wasn’t there to stop him. But what Owen saw as a curse, I see as a blessing. You are my miracle, a gift that I will always treasure.”

Luke couldn’t stop the tears that came out. Vader lovingly held Luke and stroked his hair while he cried.

“I don’t want to fight with you anymore,” Luke said, pulling back to look at Vader. “I’m sorry,” he continued. “I’m sorry for all the mean things I said to you, and for all the things I accused you of. Can you ever forgive me?”

“Luke,” Vader said, “I already have. A lot of the things you said about me are true. And I’m sorry that, because of me, you don’t have a mother.”

“I have you,” Luke said. “I’m happy with that.”