My Two Jedi

Part X

As the door closed behind Obi-Wan, I turned to Qui-Gon. With only my
own thoughts remaining in my head, I felt empty, cold in some
metaphysical way. As the Jedi Master stepped toward the apartment’s
small kitchen, I sent out a hopeful feeler, but could not gain entrance
to his mind. I knew he had received the request, though, for he
stopped in mid-stride.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” he said, not turning around.

“But you seemed to…enjoy it before,” I countered.

“That’s why it’s not a good idea,” he replied, resuming his walk. He
reached the kitchen and began to open cabinets. “Are you hungry?
Would you like something to eat?”

“Yes, thank you,” I answered, as I rose from my chair and went to lean
on a coun “A “And what exactly did you…enjoy about my mind?” I
continued the conversation he had tried to drop.

He coughed, kept his eyes on his work as he set a pan on a heating
element. “It is difficult to explain. There is just
something…refreshing about you. Something different from any other
mind I have ever encountere
“
“Well, you have never linked with a telepath before, correct?”

“True. Or with a woman.”

A suspicion began to roil just below the surface of my conscious
thoughts as I recalled Obi-Wan saying much the same thing, but I
decided to ignore it. For now.

“Your mind is also different,” I said instead. “You are the only
person I have ever scanned who thought in sentences.”

“Really?” he asked, surprised. He looked up at me, apparently more
comfortable with this subject. “Most Jedi do.”

“Obi-Wan doesn’t.”

Qui-Gon looked down again. “Yes, well, he is still a Padawan. By the
time he becomes a Master, he will have gained the proper discipline.”

“Discipline,” I repeated. “Would that also include being able to keep
your feelings secret?”

“Yes.”

“Even from yourself?”

Qui-Gon stared at me for a long moment, as though I had just made an
accusation. Then we both smelled it and jumped back – smoke. The pan
he had been ignoring was overheating. He grabbed it off the stove and
flipped a switch which started an exhaust fan somewhere while I waved
at the roiling mass still rising from the empty pan. In a few minutes,
it was relatively clear.

“Is there a window I can open or something?”

“One in each bedroom,” he gestured. I went to each in turn, lingering
to marvel at the view as the sun set over the endless city that was
Coruscant. When I returned to the kitchen, Qui-Gon had started
something in another pan, and I asked if I could help. He set me to
doing some menial tasks, which was fortunate, since I had never cooked
before in my life; just one of the perks of living in a palace. Even
with these simple jobs, I had to ask him several questions. I worried
that he would become annoyed, but in retrospect I think letting him
launch into teacher mode allowed him to feel more at ease with me. By
the time Obi-Wan returned, we were working alongside each other like
old friends, and I knew a whole lot more about Alderaanian spices than
I ever thought possible.

“Obi-Wan, you’re just in time for dinner,” I said as I went to greet
him. I felt happily domestic. I pursed my lips, but he didn’t seem to
notice, just touching my shoulder as he passed.

“What did the Council want?” Qui-Gon asked his apprentice as app approached. Even without being linked to him, I could feel his
concern.

“They wanted,” Obi-Wan began, pausing for effect, “to commend me for my
performance during the Alpha/Beta negotiations. Apparently, the Alton
sent only the highest accolades.” His smile was as wide as I’d ever
seen it.

“The coward!” I exclaimed, happily. Qui-Gon just smiled and shook his
head as though he’d seen everything before. “And was anything said
about me?” I continued, with some trepidation.

“Not by the Alton,” Obi-Wan shrugged. “You were seen arriving here
with me, though. They seem to assume you are a tourist, or just
another citizen passing through. Master Windu asked to be introduced,
as he’s never met a telepath before. I told him I would arrange it.
Eventually.”

Qui-Gon said “Well then, shall we eat?” Obi-Wan took some dishes from
a shelf and began to parcel them out on the table. Purely so that I
could help- Okay, merely as an excuse to get back into his mind, I
queried Obi-Wan as to the location of the napkins. He froze in mid
plate-putting and looked furtively at Qui-Gon as if he might overhear
before flashing me the answer and immediately raising his shields. I
sighed and got the napkins.

We ate in a strange, mostly silent atmosphere. Occasionally I tried to
start a conversation with one or the other of the two Jedi, but each
time I felt as though the other was watching us, staring at us
disapprovingly. At least the food was quite good.

After dinner, Obi-Wan volunteered to clean up, and Qui-Gon took that as
his excuse to retire. As soon as the Master’s door had closed behind
him, I gave Obi-Wan my most come-hither look and plunged straight for
his deepest thoughts.

And bounced right off his shields.

“Um, hello?” I asked my unresponsive lover, as he actually proceeded to
clean up. “He’s gone. When the carnic’s away the rachiks will play.”

“But he’t got gone,” Obi-Wan whispered from the kitchen sink, so that I
could barely hear him. “He’s just in the next room. You could at
least wait until he was asleep.”

As it was already nightfall here on Coruscant, but still late afternoon
back on Alpha, that was certainly a strong possibility. I could see no
good reason to waste those hours. But, on the other hand, I didn’t
want to upset him any further. “Okay, then. We can just…talk.” And I
sent a tiny probe to caress his still-raised shields.

He looked up from drying his hands to give me a wry grin. So he did
recognize his own line spouted back at him. Good. Perhaps it would
work as well in reverse. I watched him, a hopeful look on my face, as
he put aside the towel, walked over to my chair, and placed a hand on
my cheek.

“Just this morning you were…having pain,” he said quietly. “Are you
saying that you’re all right now?”

Mother, had it only been this morning? It seemed a lifetime ago. Most
likely, I probably was still sore. But I couldn’t have cared less.
All I could think about was how wonderful it had been to have two Jedi
in my head, better, if possible, than it had been to have one. And now
I was desperate to have that feeling again, or at least as close as I
could get. I had to get him to let me back in. There were
alternatives, or I would accept the pain as well worth it. “There’s
only one way to find out,” I said teasingly.

It worked. I felt his blocks vaporize, his thoughts flow out to meet
mine. I was up and out of my chair and throwing my arms around him
within a heartbeat.