An Unhealthy Obsession

A/N - I was SO tempted to make the Joker say (as he was climaxing) "And here...we...go." LMAO I actually had to stop writing when I thought of that, because the mood for the scene was totally ruined, hahaha. And I have to wonder, after TDK was released, how many fan girls told their men "Um, honey...do you think you could wear the clown make-up to bed, again?" LOL That'd be gross, though...face paint getting smeared all over the place? No thanks. :-P And I'm exciiiiiteeeeeed, because CodiPan's making a trailer for my fic, oh em geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU! XD I gave her spoilers to my story, so...she knows how it's gonna end. Oh noes! lol Anywhos, I'll shut up now, and just...well... -zips lips-

CH 11: An Attempt at Relaxation

Humming a cheery melody, Miranda swayed her hips back and forth to the beat as she continued to wait outside Rachel's apartment. She'd already knocked once, so it was with slight trepidation that she raised her fist and rapped against the door once again, her lips curling into a frown as she called, "Rachel? Hey, are you in there? Bruce sent me to check up on you, and now that I'm here, I figured we could go shopping or something..." She paused. "Hey, can you hear me?"

There was a long period of silence before Rachel meekly returned, "Uhh, the door's open...just come on in."

Relieved to hear her friend's voice at long last, Miranda giddily obliged and entered the apartment, only to receive the surprise of her life the moment she spotted Rachel bound securely to her bed. The attorney's face was smeared with what appeared to be red and white face paint, and from what the former beauty queen could distinguish, Rachel was completely naked underneath her white, diaphanous sheets. "Um...hi" Miranda slowly stated.

"Yeah, hi" Rachel miserably returned. "Look, if you're going to ask about my visit with the Joker, I'd extremely appreciate it if you didn't."

Her eyes lighting up in understanding, Miranda gave a squeal as she exclaimed, "Oh, my God! I always knew maniacs would be the most creative in bed, and judging by your current disposition, I'd say I nailed that one right on the head!" Now rushing over to Rachel with a giddy twinkle in her eye, she eagerly pleaded, "Tell me everything, and don't leave out a single detail. This is seriously like one of my all-time fantasies, so you have got to tell me what happened!"

Rachel stared up at Miranda in complete incredulity, her eyes narrowing as she shrieked, "Will you just shut the hell up and get the key to my handcuffs!?"

"Key? What key?"

"The one over there by my dresser...the Joker threw it there after he secured me" Rachel explained, her eyes glimmering with hope as Miranda bent over and retrieved the shiny object.

Looking over at the attorney with a large grin on her face, Miranda walked over to her before sustaining, "In all seriousness, though, I really need you to tell me your story since I attract all the crazies. Spare me no detail, including positions, pillow talk, and measurements."

"Um, size doesn't matter..."

Miranda smirked. "Well yeah, I figured you'd say that since you date my brother."

"Mandy!"

"What? I'm just making light conversation" she insisted, a sigh escaping her lips as she inserted the key into the lock and twisted it. With a triumphant noise from the back of her throat, he added, "There, you're free now, although I think I seriously would've waited for the Joker to come back and finish what he started."

"I don't think he is coming back" Rachel irritably confessed, her hand massaging her sore wrist as she slowly sat up. "Last night I tried to win him over to the good side, but I should've known that he'd consider all my advances to be apart of his game."

"Game?" Giving a goofy grin, Miranda clapped her hands before exclaiming, "Well hot damn, if this is how you play your little game, sign me up! And you know what? The psychological side of all this is extra delicious, because he totally used you... I've always been the user, so how does it feel to be the used?"

Rachel scowled. "You're sick, you know that? I can't believe we're actually having this conversation."

"Um, I'm sick?" With a disbelieving laugh, Miranda rolled her eyes before observing, "You're the one who slept with a clown, succumbed to his freaky bondage idea, and are now covered with so many hickeys you look like you've been in a bar fight, but I'm the sicko? Yeah, sorry Rachel, but somehow I think you take the cake."

Suddenly appearing to be rather nervous, Rachel meekly asked, "You won't tell Bruce about all this, will you? He'll be furious if he finds out, and I know I'll have to hear the 'I told you so' lecture about my stupid plan to convert the Joker. Bruce was right, of course, but...I'd rather he didn't know that."

Miranda brushed her fingers across her lips in a zipping motion. "No worries, you're secret's safe with me...I have a feeling it'll have to be if I want to hear anymore juicy stories from you, after all."

Sending a scowl in the blonde's direction, Rachel irritably unfastened the restraints around her ankles and kicked herself free, her voice filled with defeat as she asked, "So what's all this about shopping?"

Miranda grinned. "Get dressed and I'll fill you in on all the money you're about to save!"

Rachel mimicked her smile, but there was no true warmth behind it. "Oh, goody..."

--

As Rachel and Miranda entered Demure Amor, they were immediately bombarded by pushy employees eager to make a sale.

Excuse me, would you like to try a sample? Here, we just got this one in today! Hey, this color would look GREAT on you!

Trying her best not to smack the women in front of them, Rachel irritably shook her head 'no' and dragged Miranda toward the nearest clothing section. "Yeah, this was a great idea to lower my stress level, Mandy" she sarcastically observed. "If I wanted to spike my blood pressure, I just would've gone sky-diving!"

"Shopping is very therapeutic!" Miranda irritably insisted. "When Harvey became comatose, I took his credit card and maxed it out so I wouldn't have to think about him; I believe he would've wanted it that way."

Staring at the blonde in horror, Rachel hurriedly shook her head before grumbling, "Yeah, ok, whatever...let's just get this shopping trip over with, shall we?"

"Why, do you have a date later on?" Miranda slyly inquired. "According to Cosmopolitan's sexperts, bondage is all the rave these days, so the fact that you two used it for your first time is a very good sign."

Rachel clenched her fists so hard that her nails left bloody half-moons in her palms, her face growing hot as she hissed, "There won't be a next time, Mandy, and I'd really, really appreciate it if you'd keep your voice down!"

"Ok, fine, I'll stop being so social" she grumbled. Now lifting a skimpy dress off a nearby rack, she squealed, "Oooh, look at this! It'd actually give your flat chest some dimension!"

"Hey! I do not have a flat chest!" Rachel seethed.

“Ok, sure...what do you think about this one?”

Managing to calm her nerves, the attorney slowly stated, “Um, it’s……cute.”

Sighing, Miranda placed the purple negligee back onto the rack before complaining, “God, Rachel, you are such a prude! How am I ever going to pick out a new dress if you keep poo-pooing everything I choose?”

“Well I don’t see why my opinion even matters – this whole outing was your idea, not mine” Rachel sourly pointed out. “I may be somewhat more reserved with my body than you are, but that doesn’t mean that I’m against all dresses.”

Miranda snorted. “Yeah, only the cute ones… How ‘bout this?”

Smothering her disgust, Rachel gave her a small smile before mumbling, “It’s alright, I suppose.”

“Oh, for goodness sake!” Irritably folding her arms, Miranda revealed, “I’m going to the new night club tomorrow with my friend Stacy and her boy toy, and if I’m not cute enough to snag another guy by then, I’ll end up being the third wheel!”

Rachel sighed. She should've known that there was an ulterior motive behind this so-called "relaxing shopping trip". Managing to give her friend a wry smile despite her stormy emotions, the attorney took Miranda by the arm before urging, “Here, let me show you what I normally buy.”

Before Miranda could even give an objection, her cell phone rang loudly to indicate that she'd just received a text message. Flipping her pink razor open to the home screen, her eyes widened as she instinctively grasped at Rachel's wrist. "Oh, my God" she whispered, "that was Bruce...he says Harvey just woke up from his coma!"

A/N - Yeeeah, so that majorly sucked donkey you-know-what's, but you can forgive me, right? After all, this was a MAJOR filler chapter, because the next one is one of those extremely action-packed chapters since there's SO much going on. I'm kinda nervous about it since I don't even know where to start...AAAAAAAAAH! As a matter of fact, it's the second to last chapter, so you know what THAT means? There's going to be a sequel! -runs and hides as angry readers chuck rotten fruit and veggies- I'm sorry, I'm sorry! lol While watching TDK for the second time (I've seen it three times now, YAY!), I got a really "interesting" idea that fueled me to end this on a FAR more different note than I was originally intending. I assure you that it's WAY more exciting than the ending I had planned from the get-go, so hopefully because of that you'll be able to forgive me. ;) I plan on making fan art for the sequel, because it's original and I'm excited. Yay. lol I mean, I haven't seen my idea on this site yet, just like I didn't see any Jokachel fics before I wrote mine. Yay for breaking boundaries! As the Joker says "No rules!" Whoop! XD And yes, no worries, it WILL still be Jokachel! ;)