Something Inside

All previous disclaimers apply.

“Ryan, I think I need to tell Taylor,” Chad smiled at his lover, sitting on his kitchen counter watching as he prepared dinner for himself.

“Why is that?” Ryan asked, smiling in return. He loved to watch Chad do the most mundane things. Watching Chad make himself a grilled sandwich made Ryan smile like he hadn’t in years. It was so strange to be so happy after so many years of anger and frustration. It had been four months since Ryan had told Chad everything about himself. Four months of the most happiness Ryan had known in all his long life.

“She’s getting suspicious because you only come over at night, my grades are slipping because I never get any sleep anymore, and I don’t play all that much anymore because I just don’t have the energy. She thinks you’ve got me into hard drugs or something. I have to give her a real reason and I can’t lie to her. She’s my best friend.”

For a moment Ryan looked at Chad as he hadn’t for weeks. Had he been so blinded by his happiness in his love for Chad that he hadn’t been bothering to pay attention to Chad’s health? Now that he was looking at him he began to worry. The circles under Chad’s eyes were a dark, bruised color, he had lost weight, and some of the luster in his hair and skin that had drawn Ryan to him so at the beginning had faded somewhat. And hadn’t Chad been getting sick more often? He had had two substantial colds in the past few months that had knocked him out of commission for nearly a week each time. Ryan forced himself not to roll his eyes, groan, and slam a hand against his forehead. How could he have been so stupid? Chad was human and he was exhausted. He was not forced to sleep every day simply by the nature of his being. When Ryan left just before the sun every morning Chad just continued with his day. Ryan had been so enraptured with his new romance, with his love for Chad that he’d allowed himself to forget the fact that his lover had very specific needs. Needs that he hadn’t been seeing to like a caring lover should.

“Chad,” Ryan moved swiftly from the counter he had been sitting on to Chad’s side in just a moment. With practiced grace and not taking his eyes from Chad’s surprised ones, he moved the skillet from the heat and took both of Chad’s hands in his own.

“Ryan?” Chad looked at him with questions in his eyes that Ryan wished he had the answers to. He had been caring more for himself than for Chad these past moths and Chad deserved so much more than that. He felt an uncomfortable fist of ice in his chest and took Chad in his arms, stroking his hair and breathing in his scent deeply.

“Babe, what’s wrong? Can I do something? What do you need?”

“Chad,” Ryan pulled back and took Chad’s face in his hands, reading the pure exhaustion and concern in them, “You’re always taking care of me, putting me before yourself. I’m so sorry. I should be taking care of you like you take care of me.”

“You do take care of me,” Chad smiled and kissed him gently, “You take care of me every night.”

“And you’re exhausted, you’re losing weight, your grades are slipping and it’s all because of me.”

“Ry…”

“Let me get this out. We’re planning on spending the rest of our lives together. We can’t start this way. I can’t just let you sacrifice everything while I sacrifice nothing and gain everything in the world by being with you. I want you to be happy and healthy. Perhaps when you’re done with school you’ll get a job that keeps you up all night when I can be with you and we can share a bed during the day, but until then, you need to sleep. You need to be healthy. I need you to be healthy. I love you so much.”

“I love you, too.” Chad swallowed around the lump of emotion in his throat.

“So, come on,” Ryan swooped Chad up in his arms. Testament to just how tired he was Chad just relaxed into his embrace and didn’t fight as Ryan carried him into the bedroom. He was nearly asleep before Ryan even laid him on the bed and covered him with the blanket. Chad was about to protest that he didn’t want Ryan to leave him when Ryan slipped into the bed behind him and wrapped his arms around Chad’s waist. He kissed Chad’s neck and nestled against him, hoping that his cool skin wouldn’t keep Chad awake.

“Love you,” Chad sighed as he fell completely into a deep slumber.

No worries about keeping him awake then, Ryan smiled against his neck. This might turn out to be one of his favorite pastimes with Chad. Holding him while he slept was more satisfying that Ryan would have ever thought possible. He snuggled against Chad’s back and closed his eyes, content to hear Chad breathing and feel his heart beating against his hand.

At first Chad’s dreams were pleasant and light, images of himself and Ryan in places he had never gone but Ryan had. In his dreams Ryan took him to these places and showed him all of the things that he had seen built, told him about all of the people he had met who had had such an impact on the world that no one could have foretold. But, the pleasant dreams didn’t last. Soon they were taken over by darkness where Ryan couldn’t reach him and such pain as he had never known. It radiated from his heart and shot down all of his limbs. He wanted to scream, but he found that he couldn’t. It was so dark, but after what felt like an eternity of pain the edge of it began to ease and he heard a voice that he didn’t recognize.

“How do you feel now, Chadwick? Now that he couldn’t save you? Now that he’s proved that he doesn’t love you? He didn’t even come for you, Chadwick. You’re nothing to him. And now you’re one of us. The one thing you never wanted to be. He won’t want you now. You’re nothing special. Not human, certainly not beautiful as any other vampire, you’re nothing. Just wait until he sees you. You’ll disgust him.”

Chad forced his heavy eyelids open and tried to get his eyes to focus on the man looming over him. The auburn curls, bright blue eyes, and sneer were very much known to him though he had never seen the vampire before. He tried to say his name, but the vampire put a finger to his lips and held a mirror up to him.

“Look at yourself now, Chadwick.”

Chad looked and felt the horror rise in his chest. He was pale, too pale to be alive, and his once dark brown eyes had turned ice blue.

“No!” Chad screamed, sitting up in the bed. He pushed himself away from the mattress and into the last corner of the room that still had moonlight shining on it. He didn’t look up even when Ryan was suddenly in front of him, trying to cup his face in his hands and speak to him. He kept his arms wrapped so tightly around his knees and his eyes so tightly shut that Ryan would have had to hurt him to get him to budge. It was just a dream, he assured himself silently again and again. Just a dream. It wasn’t a glimpse. It couldn’t be. Ryan would never let it happen. The vampire…Tristan, even the name made him shudder and whimper, was not even on the continent. And he and Ryan had been apart for so many years. What reason would he have to come after Chad? It didn’t make any sense. Just a dream, just a dream. He repeated it in his mind until he was calm enough to open his eyes and look at Ryan’s beautiful, concerned eyes looking down at him.

“Baby…” Ryan was murmuring, running a gentle hand over Chad’s hair, his face, his shoulders, any skin he could reach, “Baby, please, tell me what’s happening. What’s wrong? You were sleeping so peacefully. You seemed so content. What happened? Are you alright? Please talk to me. Please.”

“I’m okay,” Chad murmured, finally, surprised at how exhausted his voice sounded, “I’m fine. I’m sorry I scared you. Nightmare. Pretty bad, but nothing to worry about.”

“Chad…”

“Please, Ryan,” Chad knew that it was unfair, but he allowed his eyes to fill with frustrated tears, “Please, I just want to go back to sleep.”

“Okay,” Ryan gave in. How could he not when Chad was looking at him in such a way? “Whatever you want.” He picked Chad up and carried him back to the bed. He knew that Chad was just pretending to be asleep when he came back from the bathroom and ran a damp rag over his face and arms to cool and soothe him. Just as he knew that when he finally finished his comforting ritual, nearly a half hour later, Chad had indeed fallen asleep again. His lover’s breathing was deep and even and when he dared to look into Chad’s mind momentarily, unobtrusively, his dreams were once again peaceful and light. He hoped they would stay that way. The way Chad had woken screaming when only moments before he had been still and calm worried Ryan more than he could say. Taylor had told him of Chad’s glimpses at one of the basketball games they had attended together.

“Chad’s sixth sense, his shine, his glimpses, his power, whatever you want to call it,” She had said quietly so that the others at the table could not hear her, “It’s more like a warning than anything else. It’s as if his mind or his soul or whatever are more in tune to anything that might hurt Chad in any sense, physical or emotional, and try to warn him before they happen.”

“But what about me?” Ryan had asked, “You said Chad had a glimpse of me before we met.”

“I didn’t say they were always warnings, Ryan, just most of the time. And besides, jury’s still out on whether your glimpse was meant as a warning or not. I like you, Ryan, more than anyone Chad’s ever dated, but because he’s falling for you so fast and hard you have more potential to hurt him than anyone else ever has. Think about that for a while, okay?”

“Of course,” he had murmured, thinking on it already. It had been in the back of his mind since the conversation, but came back full force now. What sort of glimpse could Chad have had that made him scream so readily? Ryan had been in a trance like state, lulled into comfort by Chad’s sleep, when Chad had begun to scream and had been terrified when Chad jerked out of the bed and wouldn’t look at him or say anything to him. Of course, it might not have been a glimpse at all. It might have been a bad dream, just like Chad had told him. He wanted to believe it, tried to force himself to believe it, but found that somewhere deep inside him he knew that Chad had been lying. He silently willed the fist in his chest to loosen and allowed himself to sink into trance once more, keeping his mind focused on Chad’s. But, Chad’s mind remained calm and soothed for the rest of the night.

It would not have been so if either of them had known of the conversation taking place at the home Gabriella, Troy, and Sharpay shared.

“What do you mean Tristan’s back in the states?” Sharpay demanded of the beautiful vampire sitting across the table from her. Martha was older even than Troy and Gabriella and a member of the Council. Sharpay bit her tongue and gave an apologetic smile to the vampire across the table. She knew that were Martha any other vampire the only reason she would still be alive after her rude outburst was the fact that she was the mate of another member of the Council. Martha would have been well within her rights as an ancient to kill Sharpay for not respecting her as she should have. Not that she ever would have. Martha, despite her long life and status as ancient vampire, had never gained the personality traits of being dark and mysterious as many vampires did. She was bubbly and open. She didn’t brood. She loved to laugh and smile. She was with them now because she was their friend and hated to see any of her friends suffer in any way. Ryan had stayed with her on one of his breaks from them and they had gotten very close. She had wanted to speak to him personally, but she only had the one evening to spare, so she had settled for speaking with his sister and her lovers, who were also good friends seeing as Troy was on the Council as well.

“It’s true,” Martha couldn’t keep the regret out of her voice, “And I think we all know why. I have to get back to Paris, or else I would stay and make sure that he doesn’t try anything, but if he does feel free to call on me. Whether he’s on the Council or not, you know most of us would side with you and Ryan. Just do me a favor and keep an eye open. Be careful. You know that he has humans. It might be best if you moved on for a time.”

“We can’t,” Troy said quietly. The girls nodded in agreement, “Not without alerting Ryan as to what’s going on. We’ve kept it from him for so long, we can’t tell him now without him feeling as if we’ve betrayed him. And Chad’s here. He would never leave without Chad. I think we all know that.”

“Bring him with you,” Martha emphasized, “I don’t want any of my friends hurt. I have to count Chad as one of them now, even if I haven’t met him. If he’s made Ryan half as happy as you say then I would give my life for him same as any of you.”

“He has,” Sharpay said quietly, “Just do us a favor and have Paris keep an eye out, please. We can’t move on, we can’t tell Ryan. For right now, we’re stuck.”

“I understand,” Martha sighed and rose to leave, “Stay safe all of you. Paris and I will be in touch. I’ll feel out the rest of the council in the meantime as well.”

“Thanks, Martha,” Gabriella leaned forward and placed a kiss to Martha’s cheek, “You’re a great friend.”

“I know,” Martha smiled and opened the window nearest to her, “Keep him safe. Keep him happy.”

“We will,” Troy vowed as she jumped out the window and could only hope that he wasn’t lying.