The Pon T'Keshtan

CHAPTER ELEVEN:

Dr. Surrey's afternoon schedule was free of other patients, and he had deliberately neglected to set the session-timer when Spock arrived in order to spend as much uninterrupted time with the Vulcan as Spock needed or would allow. As their discussion of Spock's Shadow figure continued, Surrey wrote: His head hasn't canted since we've began this subject. "Were there other words or symbols that stood out as vividly as the Shadow?" Surrey asked.

Spock sat back with a deep breath, as if preparing to plunge into deep water and needing as much air as possible in order to survive. "I wanted to go into the mountains, but the creature blocked my way. He said my path was barred."

"We talked a little about mountains during our first session. They can symbolize all sorts of things. What do they suggest to you in the context of your dream?"

"Up-thrusts of the planetary mantel. Natural barriers between land masses."

That's the scientist in him, not Spock the man. "Try being less literal. Use Johnson's technique to deconstruct the image based on your personal experiences and cultural inferences." (1)

"Very well." Spock tried again. "An apex. A high point. A thing to be achieved as a goal. Stone, solidity, a stable thing. A symbol of comfort -"

That's an odd one. "Comfort?"

"Yes. When I was a child, I used to go into the mountains to meet Sybok."

"Sybok is your half-brother, right?"

"Yes. We have the same father, but different mothers; his was Vulcan, mine Human."

"And he is a source of comfort for you?"

"Yes. He is non-judgmental. He always encourages me to be myself, to explore all sides of myself. He embraces his emotions and, therefore, has never found fault with mine."

"Okay. That puts some things into context for me; thank you." No wonder he hallucinated his brother; Sybok's image is a sort of reflective, coping, self-soothing mechanism. "Let's continue with the image of the mountains; you're doing great."

"Since my father ordered me not to see Sybok after he had been banished, the mountains might also represent disobedience, an unwillingness to conform, a stubbornness in me..."

Dr. Surrey nodded. He's better at this than I thought he'd be.

Spock shook his head. "That last thought does not seem to 'fit' with the other inferences of the dream. I feel I should reject it. Is that reaction normal in this process?"

Excellent! "Yes. Some thoughts will jibe with your dream images while others won't, but giving attention to every idea that comes to mind helps you determine what is an accurate assessment and what isn't."

"Use my 'gut'..." Spock echoed what Surrey had said in their first session.

"Exactly."

Spock's body slumped. His gut was imprecise; his gut was flawed; he and his gut were not always on speaking terms, as his logical mind often tended to overrule it. "I do not feel safe using my 'gut'," he admitted. His head canted again.

'Safe'; that's an interesting term to use. He feels vulnerable and doesn't trust himself. - And the head-knock may be connected to that. "That was honest," Surrey said, "and it's okay to feel that way. When we deal with the Unconscious, especially the Shadow, we often touch on uncomfortable things, but... It's sort of like: Once your Unconscious gets the idea you're making an effort to better understand it, it's more likely to let you know when you're on the right track."

"You speak of the Unconscious as though it is a separate sentient entity."

"In a very broad sense, it is. It retains information differently than the Conscious mind; it reacts on different levels; has its own language and its own cast of characters... like the Shadow. Now, the Shadow doesn't make an appearance unless there is something in the Unconscious it wants addressed, so you need to pay attention to it. Other hints you're dealing with the Unconscious are flowing water, events happening at night as opposed to day, or being high above the ground, like in an attic or on the top of a high rise building..."

"The creature in my dream was on an island in a vast ocean, and it was night. Everything was wet, as though it had recently rained."

"Those all sound like classic markers for the Unconscious." Spock raised an eyebrow, intrigued. "Jung also believed the Unconscious was comprised of layers," Surrey continued.

"The Vulcan brain is comprised of layers (2),"Spock muttered, more to himself than to the doctor. "And the Shadow-being seemed to be comprised of layers as well..."

He's trying to make the mental leap from the literal to the figurative, Surrey thought. Good for him; that's not always an easy task for Vulcans. "In Jungian theory, the outer layers of the Unconscious are added by the individual - personal experiences, traumas, impressions, repressed thoughts and feelings, likes and dislikes, things like that - and its under-layers are comprised of a mental scaffolding Jung referred to as the Collective Unconscious; an amalgamation of those instincts, insights, and archetypes shared by all intelligent beings."

Spock perked up. "Is the Collective Unconscious species specific?"

"Well, in his lifetime, Jung didn't know anything about Vulcans or other non-Terran life forms, so he was speaking strictly about Earth-bound Humans. However, in our exploration of the galaxy, we have discovered other life forms which have archetypes in common with our own, such as those symbolizing Wisdom, or Procreation, or Death. Those symbols bear the traits of the individual species and cultures, of course, but can otherwise be considered 'shared' among all known species."

"Vulcans also believe in a shared Consciousness," Spock said, leaning forward. "We call it k'war'ma'khon, the vibration of extended family; that which links one Vulcan to another, making us one race, one world, regardless of clan ties or origins."

"The layers you saw in the Shadow being may represent that in one sense," Dr. Surrey suggested.

Spock mulled this notion for a few moments and then said, "There were also miniscule points of light within the layers of the Shadow-being. I thought they may have represented the stars, but now I see they may also have represented the lost Vulcans."

Wow, that was a fantastic mental leap for him. "How so?" the doctor asked.

"You are aware of the concept of the katra?" Spock asked.

"Katra is the Vulcan term for a being's living spirit, or its soul. Right?"

Spock shifted to the edge of his chair, "I do not know if the word 'soul', as I understand the Human concept, is accurate, Doctor; however, in the sense the katra, like the Human soul, lives on after the death of the body, you are correct. The katra can be transferred immediately before the death of its host into another living being or into a vessel."

"A vre'katra."

"Precisely. Once transference has taken place, the katra may continue to exist for centuries. Surak's katra, for example, survived for one-thousand six-hundred and fifty-six years... (3) Mount Seleya held a shrine containing hundreds of vre'katra. Most were ceremonial, but others contained the essence of their once-living hosts, and the Elders could commune with them in meditation at the shrine."

"Which was what your parents were doing when Nero attacked Vulcan," Dr. Surrey said, understanding he was treading on emotional ground and that poking at this particular sore spot might induce a violent reaction from Spock.

"Yes," Spock said, settling back again. "Yes," he repeated, momentarily disconnected from the present. His eyes lost their focus, and he said to himself, "Mother died there, at the Katric Ark; her katra disappeared there..."

"It must have been difficult, being linked as you all are through the k'war'ma'khon, when so many Vulcans died so suddenly."

Spock, tucking the toy Vulcan protectively in his fist, was quiet for a moment. "We all felt the deaths - billions of them," he said. "A great weight, a blinding pain beyond feeling, and then darkness in the depths of the mind..."

"That must have been overwhelming."

Spock lifted his chin in a gesture of personal power and authority, however, the rest of his body didn't join the effort, so the effect was weakened. "Vulcans compartmentalize when 'overwhelmed', Doctor. Our minds establish priorities, address one issue at a time. As you and others have pointed out on several occasions, we have never faced a catastrophe of this magnitude before. Yet, we have endured. In the aftermath of the destruction, we have resettled and rebuilt... then there were the clan battles, and the Ek'tevan Prerogative... with over one-hundred Vulcans renouncing their citizenship and leaving New Vulcan..."

"So you as an individual, and Vulcans as a people, haven't yet had a chance to focus on or deal with your incredible loss and grief."

"Other things do take precedence," said Spock.

"In the short term, that's often true. Yes. Life goes on, and so must we. But, Mister Spock, when anguish and suffering so impacts your cognitive abilities that it becomes difficult or even impossible for you to deal with those 'other things', with life, it's time for the trauma to be addressed. Don't you agree?"

"I thought that was what we were do-" Spock's forehead furrowed as something occurred to him. He blinked, dark eyes darting under half-closed lids, as he chased the flight of his thoughts. Then he leaned forward again and, uncharacteristically, put the fingers of his left hand onto the doctor's knee. He said, his eyes wide with realization, "No one has returned to the void that was once our homeworld. Katras may still survive there... the dull lights in the Shadow-being's robes in my dream..."

Dr. Surrey didn't know what to say or do. He had never linked with a Vulcan before, so this was a new sensation for him. It was exhilarating and revealing. He felt both the heightened anxiety and the excitement Spock's expressionless façade masked. The Vulcan's bright emotions fizzed along his nerves and through the creases of his brain like a cascade of electricity. Surrey had to narrow his eyes to shield them from the brilliance: it was like looking into the heart of a star.

Spock's mind was more complex than he had imagined. Intense, solid, liquid, vaporous feelings flowed through the doctor's brain in living, prismatic color, along with a cacophony of calculations, memories, inner dialogs. Nyota – Seduce my mind and you can have my body....(4) To-do lists. Instincts verging on primal coexisted on the same level as the reasoning, cognitive part of Spock's mind. Father. "You are and always have been something of a challenge for me; but never a disappointment." (5) It was the most amazing thing the doctor had ever encountered… Mother – A wonderful rare woman... (6)

When Dr. Surrey didn't say anything, Spock looked at his hand on the doctor's knee and realized he had established a link. He pulled the hand away quickly, saying, "I apologize, Doctor."

"No," Surrey said. The link had snapped so suddenly he felt dizzy for a second, but he added reassuringly, "It's - it's okay. I understand you weren't being deliberately intrusive."

"You are generous with your assessment. Thank you."

Surrey blinked. Vulcans seldom touched one another from pure emotionalism, so he took the gesture as an indication of how open and vulnerable Spock was allowing himself to be. Incredible! "Thank you, Mister Spock. I'm flattered you felt comfortable enough to share that with me, even if momentarily."

"Is it possible?" Spock asked. "Could my dream have been speaking about them?"

"I'm sorry," Surrey said, not understanding. "Speaking about whom - ?"

"The katras. Could the dream have been addressing the issue of the katras?"

"Um, yes," Surrey pulled his full attention back to Spock. "It could've been. However, let's not get too far afield just yet. First, let's focus on what the dream means to you as an individual, rather than what it might mean in the context of Vulcan mysticism." Even as he said that, he understood, from the brief link, that Vulcan mysticism and the k'war'ma'khon were part of Spock as in individual, as inseparable from him as his skin and tissue.

Spock sat back and looked toward the door with, if Surrey did not know better, something close to a pout. Oh, no you don't, Dr. Surrey thought to himself. You are not putting your Vulcan stubbornness between us now, after all the good work we've done today. "Your mother was prominent in your mind when you touched me..."

Spock didn't turn his head, but he let his eyes fall on the doctor, a gesture indicating he was only partially agreeable to discussing this topic.

Mom is a touchy subject. "Beyond the obvious, what does the symbol of your mother represent to you?" Dr. Surrey asked.

After several beats, Spock said quietly, "My Human half. My emotional structure, nurturance, procreation..."

"Good. Keep going."

Spock returned his focus to Surrey and engaged with the process once more. "I told the Shadow-creature I wanted to take my mother to the mountains, but he would not let me pass. He told me I first had to shovel snow, and that I had to do the labor; my mother could not. I do not understand the reference to 'snow'."

"Think about it. What are the general qualities of snow?"

"It is water frozen into a crystallized form."

"Be less literal... Remember, dreams often use metaphors and symbols for things rather than precise, factual definitions. Just say whatever comes to mind, even if it doesn't seem to fit right now."

Spock's eyebrows knit together as he forced himself to think in a more imaginative manner to decipher this symbol. He pressed the figurine's head against his lips, and then said around it, "Delta Vega. Frozen. A hostile environment..."

Interesting, thought Surrey.

"A coldness, lack of warmth, inertia. Immobility. Fixed, stopped... suppressed."

"Okay."

Spock shook his head. "It still makes no sense to me."

That's because you don't want to face the part of you that has gone inert and immobile. "Well, think about it in this context: what part of you as an individual right now seems frozen or suppressed..."

"My emotions? My... gentleness with myself. My desire or ability to forgive," Spock said.

That was wonderfully honest. He's really working with this now. "Now, put all the bits together into a cohesive statement that feels right to you."

Spock frowned and his eyes clenched into slits as he tried to glimpse something within himself that evaded his vision. He said slowly, "In order to reach the mountains, I must labor in the frozen place to uncover Sybok..." His brain worked on several levels to interpret that scenario. The most prominent spoke to the context of the Vulcan people and to himself as Spock alone. Since Dr. Surrey had said he did not want to hear how the dream might correlate to the k'war'ma'khon yet, Spock did not share all his revelations. Instead, he tapped the toy's head with his thumb and communicated a single personal interpretation. "...In order for me to reach some pinnacle of comfort and stability, my Vulcan half, the part of me that is not my mother's child, the part which suppresses my emotions, must labor to uncover and revive the feeling, forgiving, nonjudgmental part of myself..." Spock looked up at Surrey. "Is that correct?"

That was fabulous, Spock! "How does it sound to you?"

"It... 'feels' as though it is a correct assessment of the imagery."

"Then it probably is correct. If it was wrong, you would have felt that."

"Can there be more than one accurate interpretation?"

"Certainly. Given the complexity of sentient beings, there is seldom only one right answer to any given question when it comes to things like this. Soooo... What do you think about what your Unconscious is telling you - about uncovering and reviving your feeling, forgiving, nonjudgmental self?"

Spock's eyes turned stony. "To outwardly express my feelings goes against the Vulcan way."

Damn. He's falling back toward his comfort-zone. "Yes, but if a strict adherence to the Vulcan way has left you inert, and cold and hostile, Mister Spock, then maybe you need to let it go, even if it's just for a little while."

Spock paraphrased the words his father had once spoken to him as a child, "There is a serenity that comes from the pursuit of logic. We control our emotions, so they do not control us."

"I understand and appreciate that approach... But, Spock, you lost your mother. You lost your homeworld. You had paternity forced upon you. What you believed were your inviolable rights were ripped from you. Where is the logic, or the serenity, in squelching your feelings about those issues? These feelings must be acknowledged and dealt with in order for you to recover from what's happened to you over the last year or so."

"What would you have me do, Doctor? Rant? Cry? Pummel holes into walls? I cannot do these things."

"No one is asking you to be histrionic, Spock. Your Vulcan cultural aesthetic can temper how you externalize your feelings."

"There is no precedent for that. I do not know how to proceed."

"Neither do I, so... maybe we should try to figure it out together."

Spock was quiet for several seconds. His head canted to the right and back again.

Feeling vulnerable. "You need to trust the process, Spock."

Spock stood from his chair. The movement was so rapid, Surrey actually recoiled in his seat for a moment, afraid that the Vulcan might lash out and strike him. There was no outburst, however. Instead, Spock walked over to the miniature Vulcans on their shelf and replaced the one he had taken from there. Integrating the individual back into the whole, Surrey thought to himself. He's finished talking about himself for the day.

"Okay. Why don't we call it day, Mister Spock?"

"Yes, Doctor," Spock said.

"You did some great work today."

To that, Spock had no comment, and Surrey suspected, he won't give himself credit until he's got it all figured out. Quite a harsh taskmaster. I wonder if he was this tough on his students in the Academy?

Spock did not return to his quarters after the long, enervating session with Dr. Surrey. Instead, he roamed corridors he knew would be the least occupied, and then confined himself to the aft Observation Deck for the remainder of the evening.

When Spock finally returned to his quarters at ten-hundred hours the next morning, Nyota was not there. He would seek her out later and apologize for neglecting her. She would no doubt dismiss the oversight, but Vulcan courtesy demanded he make the effort and initial gesture anyway. There were several messages on his com-link, and he reviewed them as Pa'shu, yawning, lumbered from her mattress and shoved her nose into his hand until he pet her.

"You are quite spoiled," he said to the sehlat. Pa'shu bellowed, but he was uncertain if she were agreeing with him or complaining about being scolded. He scratched her muzzle above her nose, and her eyes closed with contentment.

Dr. Surrey's message thanked him for an "honest and revealing session last evening"; Mr. Scott's informed him the LCARS(7) needed routine defragmentation, which he added to the "to do" list in his mind. The message from Sarek asked Spock to meet with him and Sa'aat so they could discuss "some things of importance"; and Captain Kirk's message ordered him - politely - to be available for a "confidential staff meeting" in Medical Conference Room One that afternoon; however, no time had been set yet. Conjecture on the topic was unnecessary; Spock knew it was about him. The final message was from the Crikian seamstress on Jagusch-McGillis telling him the embroidered panel of Vulcan calligraphy he had ordered was nearly complete, and she would have it wrapped and transported to the ship's receiving dock the following day. Spock added another note to his mental catalog to pick it up as soon as it arrived.

Pa'shu trailed after him as he headed for the bathroom to shower and re-dress. In the bedroom he discovered Nyota had left a tiny platter with two large, coated strawberries on the bed along with a note that read:

"In case you need a snack before work. Love you, Nyota."

She had drawn a little fat face next to her name; it was smiling. Spock picked the note up, putting it to his lips as he moved toward the bathroom. He paused in the doorway, then walked back to the bed and picked the plate up as well. "These are not for you," he told Pa'shu. The sehlat snuffled the plate then turned away, sneezing cloying bear-snot onto the floor.

After checking, and finding, that the ship's maintenance was ahead of schedule, Spock, with Pa'shu accompanying him, took the turbolift to the main deck. When the doors opened, Pa'shu stepped onto the bridge as though she owned it, but Spock remained inside the lift-car, his hands clasped behind his back. Captain Kirk, seated in the command chair, turned toward the turbolift and said, "Spock?"

"I request permission to enter the bridge, Captain. Mister Scott has informed me the LCARS requires defragmentation and compression. Access is most readily available through the Science Station." Which was not untrue, Spock told himself. Although the LCARS was accessible through just about any interface on the ship, entry through the Science Station on the bridge was the most direct.

"Permission granted," Kirk grinned. He was pleased his First Officer was on the bridge, even if it was for a limited purpose. He nodded as Spock stepped past him toward the Science Station, and added, "It's good to see you up here again, Mister Spock."

"Thank you, Captain."

Pa'shu had plodded to the helm and stood between Sulu and Chekov, looking at the expansive view screen that dominated the fore of the bridge. Ensign Chekov reached out to pat her side, but Mr. Sulu seemed less inclined to put his hand anywhere within striking distance of her saber teeth.

Kirk gestured toward the sehlat. "She's... not going to sneeze on the equipment, is she?"

"I cannot yet anticipate her olfactory reaction to stimuli," Spock admitted. "It seems, however, that she does have a sensitive snout."

"Well, if she's going to blow, make sure she's facing away from anything we can't easily clean."

"I will endeavor to comply," Spock said before turning to Pa'shu and pointing at the floor near his station. "Ti ne'le la, Pa'shu." (8) She waddled over, settled into a heavy lump by Spock's feet, putting her head on her front paws. After a yawn that showed all her fearsome teeth, she licked her chops, closed her eyes and dozed off.

"She sure seems to sleep a lot," Kirk commented.

"That is not uncommon," Spock explained. "In the wild, pregnant sehlats often go into a light hibernating state in order to conserve energy for the birth and provide stability for the developing cubs."

A few minutes later, the turbolift door swished open again, and Dr. McCoy and Lieutenant Uhura stepped onto the bridge. Engaged in their conversation, McCoy asked Nyota, "What time will you be available to meet?"

"I'm off duty at fifteen-hundred hours, but I can make myself available any time before that if you need me to."

"Dr. Surrey says he's left his schedule open from fourteen-hundred on, so let's plan on - "

McCoy stopped so abruptly that Nyota almost bumped into him. She followed his eyes to their point of focus: Spock seated at the Science Station. Nyota smiled and headed for her own station, passing Spock on her way. She gave him a covert thumbs-up and said quietly, "Your father came by your quarters looking for you last night. I told him you were out meditating and that he should leave a message."

"He did. Thank you, Lieutenant Uhura," Spock replied, always formal with her when they were on the bridge.

McCoy scowled at their exchange and stepped to the captain's chair where he mumbled to Kirk, "Uh... excuse me, Captain, but I don't remember releasing Spock for duty on the bridge."

"Relax, Bones," Kirk said, finding humor in the doctor's irritation. "He's just doing some stewardship stuff on the library computer."

"He can do that from just about anywhere on the ship."

"He said it's easier for him to do it from here."

"How convenient."

"Besides, I like having him on the bridge."

"Jim, I don't want y- "

"I can hear you, gentlemen." Spock turned in his chair to look at the captain and Dr. McCoy. "If my presence is a point of contention - "

"No one is getting 'contentious', Mister Spock," Kirk said looking to McCoy. "Right, Bones?"

McCoy's scowl deepened and his lips pursed, but he grumbled "Right, Captain," anyway. He leaned closer to Kirk, growling into his ear, "But I'd like a word with you later about undermining my authority as the Chief Medical Officer." Kirk clapped the doctor on the shoulder, and nodded in apology. "Mister Spock," McCoy continued in a normal tone of voice. Spock turned once again to face the doctor. "Will you be able to join us in Medical Conference Room One at fifteen-hundred today? There are a few things we'd like to discuss with you."

"Captain Kirk informed me of the meeting via memo earlier, Doctor. And, yes, fifteen-hundred is more than agreeable."

"Good," McCoy said. "We'll see you then."

Spock nodded once and returned his attention to the computer.

"Feel better?" Kirk asked the doctor quietly.

"Not really," McCoy said.

Spock later found Sarek, Sa'aat, and the pilot, Gilgreni, in the Shuttle Bay just as Mister Scott eagerly requested a "better look" at the Haulat, and Sa'aat led him inside. Gilgreni and Sarek acknowledged Spock with silent nods before they all joined Sa'aat and Scotty on the ship. Leaving Pa'shu on the lower deck, they took the short turbolift ride to the Haulat's main deck, where Sa'aat endeavored to answer a few more of Scotty's million questions. "Although the Haulat can respond to automated instructions and requests through the computer system, the quickest and most accurate way to interface with the ship is through a kash-naf (9)," he explained.

"Oh, aye? And what's that?" Scotty asked eagerly.

"A kash-naf," Gilgreni explained, "is a mind-link."

"You link your brain with the koko'dan's?"

"Precisely," said Sa'aat.

"Can you show me how?"

Sa'aat stepped into the well in the bridge that formed the Haulat's command station and pressed a few buttons. A flat-topped panel on a long supportive leg, both wholly covered in the same grey-green skin that enclosed the ship's exterior, rose from the floor. Sa'aat placed his hand on the panel, and the skin on the interface and the outside of the ship sparkled slightly, quivering in reaction to his touch. He closed his eyes for a few seconds and took a deep breath. "Kash-naf established," he said, and the interior of the Haulat flared to life.

Scotty looked around, eyes wide. "In the name of the wee man," he said, astonished. "Will you look at that?"

Through the link, Sa'aat performed a few simple maneuvers inside the Bay, lifting the Haulat toward the ceiling, making a three-hundred-sixty degree turn, cloaking and de-cloaking, then sidling to the windows of the aft Observation Deck. Part of the Haulat's skin tightened and pulled back to reveal a large portal through which the Observation Deck and a young couple engaged in...a rather non-professional extracurricular activity, could be seen. Although the Vulcans were quietly appalled at the sight, Scotty laughed.

When the female realized the Haulat was glowering at them through the windows, she shrieked in surprise, clutching her Red uniform shirt to her naked chest. Her companion looked around and then stood, aghast. He grabbed his clothes from the floor and the two rushed from the room, bare bottoms waggling.

"He'll be wearin' that dampt beamer (10) for the rest of the day, and that's a truth!" Scotty laughed again.

Sa'aat lowered the ship to the floor of the Bay and disengaged the link. The ship's interior lighting dulled and the leggy protrusion disappeared back into the floor. Scotty stepped forward and gripped Sa'aat's shoulder - the Vulcan stiffening at the touch - and exclaimed, "That was marvelous! Can the koko'dan link with anybody?"

"The Haulat can establish a link with any intelligent being of his choice, yes; however -" He lifted Scotty's hand from his shoulder, releasing it into the air. "- He tends to restrict such intimate contact to those he knows well and trusts."

"Could you let me have a go at it sometime?"

"Perhaps," Sa'aat said, being purposely noncommittal.

Scotty looked at the ceiling of the ship and called out, "Are you up for a session later, laddie? I promise not to make a right habble (11) of it." The ship's exterior skin shimmered and fizzled with power. Scotty frowned slightly, turning to Sa'aat. "Was that a yea or nay?"

"I believe it was an affirmative."

The Engineer beamed.

Sarek stepped forward and politely interrupted. "Excuse me, Engineer Scott."

"Aye, Ambassador," Scotty said, turning to him, his face still glowing with excitement.

"If you would allow us some privacy," Sarek indicated the other Vulcans, "We have a few things we need to discuss."

Scotty looked at Gilgreni, Sa'aat and Spock, and then back at Sarek. He was a bit disappointed at the intrusion, but didn't want to say anything that might convince Sa'aat to deny him the opportunity to learn more about the Haulat, so he sighed and nodded. "All righty then. Sure." He clapped his hands together as a form of punctuation, saying, "I'll be in Engineering if you need me." He let himself off the ship with a bounce in his step, giving the Vulcans their privacy.

When Scotty was well away, Spock walked over to the weapons station and stood behind the chair there, waiting for his father to sit first or to give him permission to take the chair himself. Sarek seemed distracted, however, and didn't pick up on Spock's physical cue. Instead, he said, "We received several transmissions from New Vulcan last evening."

Spock put his hands behind his back and extended his chin slightly to indicate he was interested in what Sarek was saying, but would not press for details unless specifically asked to do so. Gilgreni and Sa'aat were equally attentive.

After a brief pause, Sarek said, "It seems the new Ministers are anxious for reunification, and have proposed modifications to their original timetable. They are requesting that the senior members of the Fonn Vuhlkansu return to New Vulcan ahead of schedule to petition for a seat on the new Transitional Council."

"Do you think it is safe to return there, Father?" Spock asked, concerned.

His father answered and yet did not answer him. "With Semuk and T'Pau no longer in power," Sarek said, "it would seem to be the most advantageous time to proceed."

"But T'Pau has been discovered, has she not?" Gilgreni asked.

Spock's head tipped to the right and back, and he gripped the back of the weapons station's chair with one hand. The others saw this, but gave no voice to their concerns about it out of respect.

"We have word she is ensconced in a cave in the Mazhiv Solai (12),but we have not ascertained her status," Sa'aat said, his eyes on Spock. He looked to Sarek, "I was hoping to have time to go to New Vulcan ahead of you, sir, to investigate her situation."

"There may still be time for that, Sa'aat. The original schedule would have allowed us twenty-two more days to collect our representatives and coordinate our terms for inclusion. The new schedule, however, only allows for ten. If we agree, will we have time to discuss the matter, choose our representatives and finalize our proposed charter?"

"I believe so," Gilgreni said. "We are in agreement on most matters, Ambassador. There is only the trifling issue of who will take the Chair if the Council offers it. Your name, sir, has come up as a most singular candidate."

"Your name, Ambassador Sarek... and Spock's," Sa'aat corrected.

They turned their eyes toward Spock. He continued to grip the chair with one hand, his breath tight, his face impassive, as Sa'aat went on: "It was Spock who spoke first and most eloquently against the Ek'tevan Prerogative. It was Spock who, above all others, committed himself to the decision to relinquish his citizenship rather than relinquish his rights and dignity as a free Vulcan. And he was, after all, the inspiration in forming the Sect of the Fonn Vuhlkansu. He is a highly respected and decorated officer in Starfleet; the first Vulcan to have graduated with honors from Starfleet Academy. With all due respect, Ambassador, Spock is as distinguished and as legitimate a candidate as yourself. And since it is one of the stated goals of the Fonn Vuhlkansu to establish stronger ties with Earth and the Federation, who better to stand as vanguard for us than a Vulcan who is already acknowledged and respected by that body?"

Gilgreni was going to object, but Sarek interrupted him, "Agreed."

A wave of pride and gratitude rushed through Spock, tingeing the tips of his ears with an unVulcan-like blush. "Your words honor me, Father," he said. He looked at Sa'aat and Gilgreni, "However, as I am a commissioned officer in Starfleet, my duties and responsibilities preclude me from accepting any position on New Vulcan at this time. My father, therefore, is the better choice to stand as a delegate for our people."

"We can put the matter to a vote today," Gilgreni said.

"I assume that you are committed to accepting the new abbreviated time table, then," Sarek said.

"Yes. I see no reason to delay. If the Ministers are willing to open seats on the Council, we should fill those seats before they have an opportunity to rethink their decision."

"I agree," Sa'aat said.

Sarek looked to his son. "What say you, Spock?"

"An expeditious tack does seem the most logical, Father."

"Very well," Sarek said. "I will inform the Ministry that we accept the altered calendar. I would also like the Fonn Vuhlkansu to meet as soon as possible to decide upon the members of our delegation. If offered, I will accept the leadership position. Spock?"

"Yes, Father?"

"I had made arrangements with Starfleet to travel aboard the Enterprise until it rendezvoused with the other Federation vessels invited to the unveiling of the new Transitional Council. Would it be possible for this ship to host the entire Fonn Vuhlkansu delegation and transport us to New Vulcan for that event?"

"If other orders do not conflict with the request, I believe the captain would be amenable. I shall put the question to him today."

"Thank you," Sarek took a slow breath, allowing his brain to switch over to another topic. "Now, there is also the issue of the plak-tau females."

Spock's head canted to the side and back again. "Why are they an issue?" he asked.

"You are aware of my pilot, S'Risha's condition," said Sarek.

"Yes. She is in Medical Bay, in accouchement. Dr. McCoy has listed her condition as stable but guarded."

"I received a transmission last evening from a female to whom I was bred under the Ek'tevan Prerogative named T'Makh."

Spock's head tipped again. "You know the names of your females, Father?" he asked in a low voice.

"Yes."

Spock looked at Sa'aat. "And you know yours as well?"

"Yes, Spock. I also know the names of yours, but I have not yet ascertained their medical status. Would you like me to name them for you?"

"I would," Spock said. "Upon Nyota's agreement, I was going to request that you locate the females for me but... apparently, you anticipated my desire. Thank you." The words of gratitude sounded incongruently harsh and uncomplimentary. The other Vulcans recognized this as what the Humans referred to as sarcasm. They were somewhat shocked to hear Spock employ it. "Who are they?" Spock asked, his words sounding more like a command than an inquiry.

"Their names are -"

"A caution, Sa'aat," said Sarek.

Spock's head tilted and straightened again. "Father?"

"He has requested the knowledge," Sa'aat said to Sarek. "I see no point in restrictions at this juncture."

Sarek turned to Spock and explained, "We were going to present this information to you in the Medical Conference meeting this afternoon. The Earth doctors thought it best to withhold it from you until they could gather around you in support."

"How generous of them," Spock said, again with unconvincing gratitude. His eyes went to Sa'aat. "Their names, please."

"They are - "

"The five -" Sarek interrupted again. Spock's eyes snapped to his father's, and Sarek continued, "The five you serviced through the plak-tau were T'Liik, Karil, T'Edri, V'Rha'lahn and T'Cloo."

The tension in Spock's body leaked from him for a moment, and his head drooped. In a hollow voice he said, "I know them not."

"Did you expect to?" Sa'aat asked him.

"No," he said. His whole being all at once ached with despair and disappointment, and part of his mind found that to be an odd reaction. Before being given their names, he didn't care if he knew the women; why then, was he so dissatisfied now? If he had known them, would it have made a difference? He took in a breath, lifted his head and repeated, "No, I did not expect to know them. I was simply..." He shook his head, unsure how to finish the sentence.

Sarek continued in his son's silence, "T'Makh was one of my two. Of the two, she was the only one impregnated. And now she is suffering from a condition that seems to echo that of S'Risha."

An eyebrow cocked in interest, Spock looked to Sa'aat. "And your females - ?"

"T'Lale and her sibling T'Yelas. Both pregnant; one suffering thus far. Her symptomology is the same," Sa'aat said.

Spock looked to Gilgreni.

"Neither of my females are with child," he admitted emotionlessly.

"Three females bred at approximately the same time, under similar circumstances, all having parallel difficulties..." Spock said, "That does seem to portend misfortune for the women of the Prerogative."

"Nurse Chapel came to me earlier with concerns of an epidemic of problem pregnancies. I told her she was speculating," Sa'aat admitted.

"Did she have information about the plak-tau females that we do not?"

"No."

"Then she was speculating," Spock said supportively. "However, Humans often have a knack for foretelling disaster, and I have learned to take such obtuse observations into consideration..." He turned back to his father. "Have you been able to ascertain if any other females on New Vulcan are exhibiting similar complications?"

"I have inquiries with the Ministry and with the medical establishment on the planet, but they are loathe to share their data as yet," Sarek said.

Spock looked at Sa'aat who answered his unspoken question with, "I am looking into it."

"It may also be possible for Dr. McCoy to seek an identifiable link between the plak-tau drug and the natal difficulties," Spock suggested.

"In order for him to run valid tests, he would need a sample of the drug itself," Gilgreni said.

"True. At this late stage, it would seem unlikely that any trace of the drug would still be in our bloodstreams." Spock looked again to Sa'aat.

"I will see if my agents can procure a sample for us," Sa'aat said.

"What can we do in the mean time?" Spock asked.

"T'Makh asked that she be sent to the Vulcan settlement in Nevada on Earth, but it is unwise for her to travel in her present state. So, she lies-in at the Medical Facility on New Vulcan. I contacted the Federation Science Bureau and the Federation Council to ask for assistance, but have been advised that in order for the Federation to intervene on the behalf of the plak-tau women, the Ministers of New Vulcan must grant permission... and they are otherwise occupied, as you know. Therefore, there is little we can do at the moment except monitor this situation as it develops, from the outside."

"Rather like watching a pregnancy itself," Gilgreni observed.

"Yes, but what form of offspring will be brought forth?" asked Sa'aat.

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(1) Johnson's technique: This refers to the techniques for dream analysis proffered by Johnson in his book "Inner Work: Using Dreams and Active Imagination for Personal Growth" by Robert A. Johnson. (1989)

(2)The Vulcan brain: according to the Memory Alpha site, "...This has some basis in fact, as the Vulcan brain is composed of many layers. It is in direct control of most of the bodily functions, acting as a control unit for many organs. Despite this, a Vulcan body from which the brain has been removed is capable of functioning and even walking around (albeit in a zombie-like state) with a portable life support system...The psycho-suppression system responsible for the Vulcan suppression of emotions is located in the mesiofrontal cortex..."

(3) Longevity of the Katra: This was based on an episode of "Enterprise" and the Star Trek Memory Alpha site's dissertation on katras, which reads in part: "...A highly notable surviving katra was the one of Surak, Vulcan's founder and father of Vulcan philosophy. Although Surak died in the 4th century, his katra survived to the year 2154 when it was briefly held by a Human, Captain Jonathan Archer before its transference to a Vulcan Priest. The reappearance of Surak's katra was instrumental in the rise of T'Pau's influence and the following reorganization of Vulcan government and society... The katra can be restored when a person has died and his Katra was transferred to someone, if the family of that person wishes to do so. This ritual is called fal-tor-pan, which literally means "the refusion". This ritual is performed very rarely. The last time was in 2285 when Spock [Prime]'s regenerated body was found on Genesis and returned to Mount Seleya, where his katra was transferred from Doctor McCoy into his own body." According to Sybok's back-story, as recorded on the Star Trek Memory Alpha and Memory Beta sites, when Sybok's mother died, her katra was forcibly removed from her body. The back story read in part: "... [H]er katra was forcibly removed and placed within a vre'katra where it was interned within the Hall of Ancient Thought. Sybok believed that the actions of the Adepts of Gol contributed to her death and was kept from her thus not allowing him to full his promise to her about journeying to the Source." Sybok later located his mother's katra and mind-melded with it "despite the risk of succumbing to madness."

(4) Seduce my mind...: This is from a poem by an anonymous author which reads in part, "Seduce my mind and you can have my body; find my soul and I am yours forever." There are several different versions of this, and you'll be seeing a more "Vulcan" version of it later in the story.

(5) This quote is from my original story, "The Ek'tevan Prerogative". When Spock was rescued from New Vulcan, he asked Sarek if he was a disappointment to him, and Sarek answered: "No, Spock. You are and always have been something of a challenge for me; but never a disappointment. Especially not today. If I am disappointed in anyone, I am disappointed in myself. Regardless of my motives, I should not have allowed them to treat you thus..."

(6) Mother: This is a rehash of a quote by the English author D. H. Lawrence (11 September 1885 – 2 March 1930) which reads, "She is my first, great love. She was a wonderful, rare woman - you do not know; as strong, and steadfast, and generous as the sun. She could be as swift as a white whiplash, and as kind and gentle as warm rain, and as steadfast as the irreducible earth beneath us."

(7)LCARS: The ship's Library Computer Access and Retrieval System, also known simply as the ship's library computer. According to the Star Trek Freedom Wiki, "...It was accessible by both voice and keypad commands. LCARS used sophisticated artificial intelligence routines to understand and execute vocal natural language commands. Starfleet personnel also frequently interfaced with LCARS with PADDs, tricorders and control panels..."

(8) Ti ne'le la Pa'shu: translated from the Vulcan it means, "Lie down here, Pa'shu."

(9) Kash-naf: the Vulcan word for "mind-link".

(10) Dampt beamer: "dampt" is Scot for "damned", and a "beamer" is a blush, or a red face caused by embarrassment.

(11) Habble: a Scot word for a mess, or a clumsy ineffectual way of doing something.

(12) Mazhiv Solai: translated from the Vulcan it means "sand field"; an expanse of desert outside of the capitol city of New Vulcan.