A past that never is

I opened my eyes slowly, then wished I hadn’t.

“Uhh.” It was more a groan of pain, than an actual word.

“Welcome back.” Maggies face swam into focus.

“Now we have some good news to give the captain when he returns.”

“How long?” I asked her.

“Were you out?” At my nod she continued.

“Almost two days. The anaesthetic wore out early yesterday afternoon, I know you’re in a lot of pain. But I can’t give you anything for it, between you and AK my stores are way down. You should get more used to it after a while.” She said.

“Why would I want to do that?” I tried to sit up.

“Let me help you.” Maggie put her hand under my left arm. I looked at her oddly.

“You’re not going to say ‘Don’t do that, Shifter’?” I asked. She laughed and shook her head.

“Every time I try you do it anyway.” She replied. I blushed, as I settled myself against the pile of pillows.

“So what’s going on?”

“At the orders of Commander Locke, Captain Niobe called a meeting in the Matrix. Apparently she and Ghost found out what it was that happened to the Osiris. Must be important because the captains of all the ships are ordered to attend.” My eyebrows rose at that. Whatever it was must be big. Yes, ships and captains had been known to co-operate on occasion and as such had to meet each other in the Matrix, to have a meeting where every captain was ordered to attend was something that happened about once in a lifetime. Maggie put a tray down in front of me with a bowl of delicious looking slop on it.

“Eat.” She ordered. I made a face.

“You need the strength. You lost a lot of blood from those wounds and you are still very weak. If you don’t eat that food then I WILL put you on a drip.” She said. I picked up the spork and started eating.

“Not that fast.”

“Don’t you ever stop giving out to me?” I asked somewhat petulantly.

“Not when you’re trying to choke yourself to death, no.” As soon as I was done eating she took the tray away.

“Now get some sleep.”

“I’m not tired.”

“If you don’t get some rest now then I’ll sedate you.”

“I thought that was the reason I was awake, because you have nothing left to sedate me with.” I grinned at her, or at least I tried to, grinning is kind of hard when your face has been ripped to shreds.

“Fine, don’t sleep. Don’t come complaining to me when you pass out.”

“I won’t be complaining to anyone when I pass out because I’ll be unconscious won’t I?” I muttered sarcastically.

“You make a terrible patient.”

“That might have something to do with the fact that I was trained to be an operator and not a patient.” Half an hour later I was just about ready to kill myself, I was so bored. I climbed off the bed and immediately Maggie was on her feet.

“And just where do you think you’re going?” She asked.

“The toilet.” I replied. She gave me a suspicious look, then came over and handed me a pair of crutches.

“Okay, half an hour. If you’re not back by then I’ll be up to the main deck and I’ll drag your skinny ass back down here and knock you out, got it?” She said. I nodded quickly and left, I would say hurried, but you try hurrying when you’re on crutches. I finally made it out onto the main deck, after a lot of cursing and bashing the crutches around.

“Nice to see you’re alive.” AK said as soon as I appeared.

“Thanks for the help, much appreciated.” I muttered under my breath to him. He shrugged his shoulders and smiled slightly.

“Oh, yeah. Like I’m going to do that after what you did the last time I asked if you wanted my help.” He said.

“Got anything for me to do?” I asked. He looked over at me, as I tried to figure out how to use the crutches, then he started laughing.

“Getting bored of the infirmary, huh?”

“You could say that. Oh, and AK I think I win the competition. Of course you’re welcome to try and outdo me, but you might get yourself killed if you do.” I said.

“I think I’ll just let you win.” He said.

“But I don’t want to win. I don’t want to be the only one in pain.” I whined, half jokingly. He shook his head, as he turned back to the monitors.

“Operator.” AK said, and I knew that Roland or Colt had rung up for something. I stayed quiet, not just so that AK could concentrate on what he was doing, but I had my own reasons as well.

“Got one, third door on your left.” He looked back to me as he spoke. ‘Agents’ he mouthed, I hobbled over to his chair, to stare at the monitor over his shoulder.

“The agents are nowhere near them.” I said quietly. AK looked back over his shoulder quickly, before returning his gaze to the screen.

“Yeah, but you know how fast those fuckers move.” He said.

“Yeah, will they make it?” I asked him.

“Think so, they’re already at the exit.” He said.

“Shit!” I hobbled for the ladder and tried to get down it as fast as I could.

“See ya later, Shifter!” AK called after me, I could hear the humour in his voice. I made it just to the bottom of the ladder before the end of one of the crutches got stuck in the floor. I yanked and pulled at it, and eventually it came free, flying upward and whacking me in the forehead.

“Ow!” I said. It hadn’t really hurt all that much; it was more the surprise. The crutch bounced across the floor and a moment later a hand appeared holding it.

“I think this is yours.” Rolands voice said. I refused to meet his eyes.

“Thanks.” I mumbled.

“What are you doing up already?”

“Bathroom.”

“Uh-huh. You do realise that the bathroom is in the other direction?” He smiled slightly as he said it, but I didn’t see him smiling because I was to busy admiring the pattern of the floor grating. I figured I had already lost anyway.

“Come on, before you hurt yourself even more than you have already.” He scooped me up in his arms and started to carry me back to the infirmary, at least that’s where I think he was bringing me. I burrowed my face in the crook of his neck and fell asleep, trying to ignore the pain that was in my chest.

I woke up in our bed back in Zion. Roland wasn’t in bed with me, but he must have been nearby, because as soon as I awoke he was next to me, sitting down carefully on the bed next to me. I look up at him through somewhat blurry eyes.

“Sedative. Maggie said you’d sleep for a while. I have to go to a meeting, but I’ll be back by the time you wake up again, okay?” He said.

“’Kay.” I mumbled, already falling asleep again. He was right, the next time I woke up he was asleep next to me and I would have curled against him, but the pain in my ripped chest was back. I just lay still waiting for it to subside; I must have fallen asleep again. When I woke up next time Roland was still next to me, but he was staring down at me.

“What is it?” I asked, sleepily. The right side of his mouth quirked upward slightly.

“I was just thinking how peaceful you looked. Like you had no worries or fears.” He replied. I tried to sit up, but gave up with a hiss of pain. Instantly his half smile turned to a look of concern.

“What is it?” He asked. I took a few deep breaths before answering him.

“Nothing, I’m fine.” I answered him. I knew by his look that he didn’t quite believe me, but he didn’t push for the truth.

“What happened at the meeting?” I asked quickly changing the subject. After he explained that the Vigilant and the Logos had gone to search for the Nebachadnezzar, which had left yesterday, he went on to tell me that the remaining ships were leaving later on that afternoon to hopefully try and stop the machines from cutting of the mainlines in and out of Zion.

“It’s a good plan, I think it might even work.” He paused then looked back down at me.

“You’re going to stay here. We have no need for an extra operator on this mission anyway.” While he might think the plan to stop the machines would work, I knew then that he was not willing to take any chances.

“And what does Locke say about this?”

“He’s insisting that all ships crews be onboard when the ships leave.”

“I never thought I’d say it, but I agree with him this time.”

“Shifter-”

“Listen to me, I still have nightmares about what sentinels and other machines did to me.” I caught his hands in mine.

“If I have to do this, if I have to die to stop them from doing that to someone else, then I will. I don’t expect others to fight for me...well accept maybe you,” she kissed him as she said it.

“But I can’t hide from them forever. Everyone’s past catches up to them eventually, and mine has been threatening to do so for a long time now. I am going, Roland.” Roland sighed, but he couldn’t fault my logic.

“I know. But I wish you would stay here.”

“Maybe being here would be more dangerous than being on the Hammer. Either way I’ve made my choice.”