Always have, Always Will

Chapter 12: Insane, Friends, and Pluffy

Abby stayed in the cabin the entire day since she couldn’t find any extra clothes that would fit her and she would not wear one of Elizabeth’s dresses. It didn’t have anything to do with Elizabeth; Abby just knew she would feel strange in such an extravagant dress. Even if it was one of the less expensive ones. Jack didn’t even come into the cabin once, leaving Abby to do whatever she pleased. Which was still nothing. She laid on the bed for hours on end, staring blankly up at the ceiling. She could hear shouts and shuffling feat from above her, but made no attempt to even leave the room.

She couldn’t help but jump when the door suddenly flew open, slamming against the wall. She sat up quickly and looked to the opening with wide eyes. She instantly relaxed when she caught sight of Jack swaggering in as though he was a king.

“There ya are.” Jack said as he seen her, then looked around the room with a confused look on his face. “What are you doin’ in here still?” Abby just continued to stare at him.

He knows to much for his own good.

“I just thought it would be best if I stayed in here.” Abby replied quietly. Jack just nodded his head and walked over to his desk. Most of his good maps were now ripped to shreds on the floor, but thankfully he still had one left. He unrolled it and sat it on his desk, holding the corners down with rum bottles.

“Ya aint scared are ya?” Jack asked after a while. Abby looked down to her hands and took a deep breath.

“Yes, how could I not be?” She replied harshly. Jack looked up at her with a serious gaze.

“None of my men will hurt you.” He said. Abby continued to look at her hands, not noticing the cold look Jack had given her.

“I’m not saying that they will.” Abby said in a whisper.

“Then what are ya sayin’?” Jack asked when she didn’t continue. Abby looked up from her hands, her face clearly showed she was having an inner battle with herself.

“I think it would be best if I didn’t say Jack.” Abby said after a few moments.

“It’s Captain Jack dearie, and how can it matter?” Jack said. He straightened up to get a better look at her, when she wouldn’t meet his gaze he just shook his head and continued to look at his map.

He already knows too much

Abby looked up from her hands to Jack. She couldn’t tell some stranger a secret that NO ONE else knew about. She couldn’t ever even bring herself to tell Misty, and if she should have told anyone it should have been her.

“It’s nothing.” Abby said when she was certain that Jack should not know.

“How can it be nothing?” Jack asked a few moments later. Ignoring his question, Abby stood up from the bed and made her way over to Jack’s desk.

“Where are we going Captain?” She asked and leaned over to peer at the map. Jack continued to stare at it, not even acknowledging her presence. Abby rolled her eyes and walked over to the bookshelf. She hadn’t ever thought about reading a book during the day. She looked through many of the titles but none of them stood out to her. Giving one last sigh she walked back over to the bed and laid back down.

He cannot be trusted

Abby scrunched her face together as if in agony when she heard the voice again. She could never stop it.

“Why not?” She whispered, keeping her eyes on Jack to see if he heard her.

He will betray you

“No he wont.” Abby said.

Why wouldn’t he. Your nothing special to him

“He wouldn’t have gone through so much trouble if I was nothing.” Abby said, closing her eyes lightly when she realized that the voice might be right.

Just wait until the next port

“He wouldn’t do anything to hurt me.” Abby said, her voice giving away her fear.

You don’t know him

“I know him enough.” Abby said a little louder without realizing it.

How can you?

“I just do.” She said.

You don’t know him enough

“Yes I do.” She practically shouted. Jack was staring at her, his face empty of expression. He was just trying to figure out what she was doing.

He will drop you off and then what will you do

“He won’t do that.” Abby said, her voice becoming quiet once again.

You will become a whore, there is nothing better for you to do

“I will not become one of those. I never will be one.” Abby said, just trying to reassure herself.

There is nothing else for you. No one cares about you. You have no place to go.

“Misty d-does.” Abby said unsurely.

Then why did she just let you leave

“S-she fought for m-me to stay.” Abby said, tears now threatening to spill from her eyes. She shut them tighter to keep them from falling, but one escaped. That’s when Jack decided that this was enough. He now knew he had an insane woman on his ship.

“Abby?” He said quietly. Her body instantly tensed at his voice, she had forgotten about him.

“Oh my god.” She mumbled to herself. He would certainly drop her off at the next port now.

“You alright luv?” He asked and walked over to the bed. Abby opened her eyes slowly, watching his every move. “I ain’t gonna hurt ya, you should know that by now.” Abby nodded her head in agreement but never took her strong gaze away from him. She knew it was the voices doing. Breaking down any type of trust she had for him, placing in its stead a wall of fear.

“Yes I’m fine.” She muttered in reply.

“No your not.” Jack said before thinking. Abby look up at him with an angry expression. (Does that make sense?)

“Thanks for pointing out the obvious.” She said cruelly.

“I didn’t mean it like that, I-I…” Jack struggled to think of what he meant, but for once in his life he couldn’t think of a good explanation to get him out of this.

“I’m sure you didn’t.” Abby said sarcastically. Jack kneeled down beside the bed to look at her straight in the face. She couldn’t hold his strong gaze and looked away quickly.

“Didn’t. I swear.” Jack said. Abby looked back over at him, only to look away again when their eyes met.

“Look, I have gone through to much the past week, I don’t trust anyone anymore.” Abby whispered to him. Jack nodded and sat on the edge of the bed beside her. Abby’s body tensed up even more. Men take advantage of weak women, especially pirates, or so she thought.

“Why ya so scared?” Jack asked. “I haven’t ever hurt ya.” She wanted to relax, she wanted to trust him, but her entire life she had the voice telling her she was no good, telling her she wasn’t worth more than the dirt that people walked on, silently telling her everyone was there to hurt her, even if in the tiniest ways possible.

“I know, but…” She trailed off, not knowing what to say next.

“But what?” Jack asked after a while.

“I can’t explain it.” She said and stood from the bed and walked to the opposite side of the room.

“Is it really that big of a secret. I just seen you talkin’ to yerself, I’m pretty sure that counts for something.” Jack said with irritation creeping into his voice. Abby spun around to face him before she started yelling.

“Well, there you go! You know my secret, I am insane.” Abby shouted. Jack looked at her with a stony expression. She could tell he was weighing his options on what to do with her. Her only choice was to wait.

“You’re insane?” Jack repeated. Abby looked at him with confusion. He sounded like he just wanted to say it himself. “…Insane?”

“Yes Jack, insane. You have an insane woman in your cabin right now.” Abby said irritably.

“Hmm… is that it then?” Jack asked. Abby’s jaw dropped open and her eyes went wide.

“Is that it? What do you mean is that it? I just told you I was insane!” Abby shouted. Jack just continued to stare at her with a blank expression and shrugged his shoulders.

“From what I’ve seen you aint that insane.” Jack said with uncertainty.

“You have got to be kidding! You just seen me talking to myself.” Abby said in a slightly lower voice.

“Lot’s of people do that dear, aint nothin big.” Jack replied.

“I’m sure people do, but half of them don’t hear a voice replying to them.” Abby shouted back. Her face changed once again to one of pure shock. She had never meant to tell him that much.

“Ah, so you have a friend?” Jack said with a smirk on his face.

“I fail to see how this is funny.” Abby mumbled just loud enough for Jack to hear her, which only made his smirk get bigger.

“I get friends sometimes, mostly when I have some rum, but I still get friends.” Jack joked.

“No Jack, it’s the exact opposite of a friend.” Abby said seriously. “But I am not going to have this conversation with you so just drop it.” She walked over to his desk and plopped down into his chair. Jack immediately stood up from his bed, giving her a questioning look.

“What are ya doin?” He asked quickly.

“Sitting.” She stated with her own smirk.

“I see that but your sitting on my chair.” Jack said. He walked over to the desk and stood in front of it. Abby just looked up at him, determined to not let her fear take over.

“Is that bad?” She asked and looked uncertainly at the chair, as though if she stared at it to hard it would break.

“Well no, but its still my chair. Why didn’t you sit on this one?” Jack asked pointing at the chair opposite of Abby. She looked over to it and shrugged.

“This one was more pluffy.” She supplied.

“Pluffy?” Jack asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Yes, pluffy. You know more comfortable.” Abby said and looked up at him. She tried to hold in her laughter but a small chuckle escaped her lips. “Calm down, I’ll move.” She said and stood from the chair and sat on the other one. Jack just continued to stand there with a confused expression on his face.

“Pluffy?” He managed to say after a while. Abby laughed, not one of those fake laughs that some people do, but a real one. She hadn’t laughed like this in such a long time.

“Yes Jack pluffy. Now go over there and sit.” She said. Jack listened and sat in his ‘pluffy’ chair and leaned forward to look at his map.

“You never did say where we were going.” Abby said. Jack just nodded and continued to ignore her. “Jack?” Abby leaned over and poked him in the shoulder to get him to pay attention to her. He looked up at her but didn’t say anything.

“So are you going to tell me or not?” She asked.

“Sorry I was thinkin’ of something, and we are goin’ to Tortuga luv.” Jack said and looked back down at his map.

“Turtle?” Abby questioned.

“Pirate haven Ab, I think you’ll love it!” He said and smirked up at her.

“Why would they name it turtle though?” Abby asked. Jack rolled his eyes at her before replying.

“Just forget about what it means luv, just think of it as Tortuga.” He said and looked back down at his map.

“Tortuga?” Abby said, just testing out the name for herself.

“Aye, Tortuga.” Jack said, probably not even realizing he even said it in the first place.