It's My Life

It was always a little sad when Jack took the Pearl out of Tortuga. Anna never watched them sail away, because she knew it wouldn’t help, and besides she had a half-superstition about it. She felt if she watched them leave, they wouldn’t come back. It was silly, and she knew it, but there it was.

So, to keep herself from thinking about it, Anna went back to the tavern to set it straight for the coming night. All the meat there was to be had that week was goat, and the cook complained.

“Goat? How am I supposed to make anything edible out of goat? I’ll have it all thrown back at me, that’s what.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it, Sophie. Nobody comes here to eat anyway. Put enough rum in them, and enough beer in the stew, and nobody’ll notice a thing.”

“Waste of good beer, that is,” Sophie grumbled, but went on about it anyway. Anna knew Sophie only complained out of habit, and didn’t pay any more attention to it than she usually did. Instead, she changed the subject.

“Oh, by the way, Sophie, how are the wedding plans coming?”

“Well, I’ve finally got him to agree to posting the banns next month. He’s still trying to get me to agree to the end of next month, but I’ll get him around to the second Sunday, you see if I don’t.”

“I believe you.” Anna grinned. Sophie was marvelously good at cooking, complaining, and being stubborn, in that order. “So, the fourth Sunday of next month, I’ll be hosting a wedding feast, then?”

“That you will, if you’re willing.” Sophie had been nervous, for the first time in Anna’s experience of her, when she had asked if they might have their wedding feast in the tavern. In fact, she hadn’t even gotten the request out before Anna figured out what Sophie wanted, and offered the tavern on her own initiative.

“Oh, I’m willing. As long as it’s during the day, and as long as you don’t mind goat if that’s all I can get.”

“As you say, put enough rum in the guests and enough beer in the stew, and nobody’ll notice.” Camilla, the serving maid, came in through the back door at that point, and she and Sophie started talking about banns and weddings and all the other things that had driven Anna crazy three days before. Now, though, she had a different life to think about, and she didn’t mind being surrounded by weddings. Tavern business occupied Anna until dusk, when the place opened, and after that, Anna was busy overseeing and singing and doing business in general. It was at least an hour past midnight when she was finally able to leave for home.

Home, when Anna got there, felt different even before she saw what Jack had done. It felt more like a place she could live in without feeling ridiculous. The moonlight coming through the room’s single window caught the metal of a candle holder sitting on something just inside the door, and she lit the candle and looked at the room. The hideous chair cover and the gilded bookcase were gone, and the carved table had been replaced with a plain one. The table had two plain chairs that went with it, and the chair that had been covered was now revealed to be a secondhand, but still perfectly serviceable, armchair with mostly-blue upholstery. Jack hadn’t been able to resist one exotic element, though. Beside the door was what looked like the much-smaller sibling of the carved table, where the candle holder had rested. There was a piece of paper on the plain table, with one word on it. “Better?”

“Much,” Anna smiled. “At least so far.” She picked up the candle again and walked into the bedroom. The trunk with the silk in it was sitting at the foot of the bed, which was somewhere in size between the rosewood monstrosity and the bed she’d slept in at the tavern. It was mostly plain, except for a carved scallop shell on the headboard and footboard. The trunk was locked, but Anna found the key under her pillow and unlocked it. In addition to the bed and the trunk, the room contained a washstand, a small table with a stool in front of it, and, on the wall over the table, a mirror big enough for Anna to see herself from her collarbones up. There was a hand mirror on the small table along with her hairbrush and a lamp.

“Two mirrors. Now I’ve got them, so I can look at my tattoo if I want. Jack, you’re a very smart man, you know that? Heh. Of course he knows that. Just ask him.” Anna lit the lamp, unlaced her bodice, and shrugged her chemise down off her shoulders. Then she picked up the hand mirror, sat down on the stool, turned her back to the wall and saw her tattoo for the first time.

It wasn’t healed yet, so it was flaking in places and itched some. But other than that, it was beautiful. It wound back and forth all over her back, following and hiding the worst of the scars. In among the beast’s coils, on the parts of her back that were solid scar tissue, were waves that disguised the discoloration and the texture of the skin. She hadn’t felt that at all when it was done, but she was glad of it. She was still disfigured, but now at least it was harder to tell. She loved it. It was a talisman of her new life. After she had stared at it for five solid minutes, she found a sparrow hidden in one of the sections of waves. Jack hadn’t mentioned that, but Anna didn’t hold it against him. At least when Jack stopped coming back to her, she would remember who had showed her how to enjoy life.

“Who says I need to be married?” she murmured. “It’s my life to share, and I don’t want to yet. So there.” And with that, she put down the mirror, blew out the lamp and went to bed, to spend the night, and many nights thereafter, dreaming of swimming.
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A/N: I'm considering writing something short about Anna's swimming lessons. Anyone interested?