More Than Eyes Alone Can See
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. . .world-losers
and world-forsakers, on whom the pale moon gleams:
yet we are the movers and shakers of the world forever, it seems.
plane took off and the kids grew excited and her patient startedwingwing
further and further into himself.
world-loser, and she had the feeling that Sands was about ready to forsake the
world. And yet, the safety and immediate
future of five people depende her her.
The possibility of physical and mental breakdown is now very real. No
sympathy for the Devil, keep that in mind. Buy the ticket, take the ride.
Actually, I was thinking more along the lines of
bang but a whimper.’ It’s a bit calmer,
and life – new growth – usually comes from the ending of one season.
you be any more bucolic?
voice sounded absolutely disgusted.
“Tía Tessa, tía
Tessa.” Insistent hands on her arm woke
Tess from her inner musings. She looked
over to her side and at the young boy seated next to her.
“What is it, René?”
“I wanna see the
pirate.”
“The pirate?”
“I think he means
the ‘pilot’.” Tess looked past her young
charge and up into the face of an older woman in a uniform.
friend, Dr. Pierce, mentioned that you had some youngsters with you.<
st
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I thought they might want to explore
pl
plane. If it’s alright with you.”
The woman had dark
hair that was just beginning to grey and her eyes were a kind, soft grey.
she could do to the children on while they were all on the plane.
then lma lma and Marcos. They all had
the same hopeful expressions on their faces.
shouldn’t they be able to?
. . .”
The woman nodded,
option of taking a nap. I can keep them
busy for an hour or two, so don’t worry about sleeping if that’s what you want
to do.”
Tess ga wra wry
smile. “Sounds as if it’s time I start
listening to the counsel of others. I
think you may be the third or forth person to mention that I need sleep in as
many days.” Looking at the kids as Tina
stood upright once again, Tessa said in a louder voice, “Go on then.
Tess was glad to hear that Tina was fluent in Spanish.
had taken care of. She’d have to have a
word with him about playing big brother.
Sands? You’re not being very attentive
to his needs.
normal'>Sands needs painkillers, but he doesn’t want any.
you could have fun trying.
Tess rubbed her
head, tired of the constant chatter, then looked at
Sands. He was sitting quietly in his
seat, head rolling on his shoulder. It
appeared that he’d managed to fall asleep.
See, he doesn’t need me at the
moment. I can sleep.
you want to visit me.
No! I want sleep.
Just go away for an hour or two.
Then I promise to listen to whatever it is you want to say to me.
Had she been any
less tired, the triumphant glee in that single syllable would cau caused her
to change her mind. But her eyes were
already closing, and her mind was starting to drift.
sleep, undisturbed by anything more than the slight coolness of the air.
Payton hadn’t been working long at Tomorrow’s Cures, the
firm that
though; it was easy enough. She
month, and other than that, had no responsibilities whatsoever.
to be very diligent and to make sure that she gave her full attention to the
passengers. That’s why when she went
into the cabin, she did her best to make the man and
woman there as comfortable as she could.
The woman was
curled up in her chair, her knees practically drawn up to her chest.
be too cold in here for her, Payton thought.
reached into an overhead compartment and pulled out a lightweight blanket.
passenger, making sure to cover her from chin to toe.
was easy enough.
She was turning to
leave when the man caught her attention.
He too appeared to be asleep, but he didn’t look very comfortable.
and the glasses that were still on his face . . .
must be uncomfortable. I’ll just take
care of that for him.
With any other
person, the gesture might have been appreciated, or at least understood.
normal. And Payton was rougher than she
should have been with someone with a rather extreme injury.
As she removed the
sunglasses from Sands’ face, he moved his head, and one earpiece scraped across
is face at the exact same moment that Payton realized why he hadn’t removed the
glasses himself. The empty holes where
his eyes used to be were horrible to see even for people
trained to be clinical and detached – for a naïve stewardess, it was like
gazing into a nightmare. Her small
shriek of surprise and disgust mingled with Sands’ low cry of pain.
Sands had been sleeping dreamlessly for once.
his mind wasn’t filled with things as he was unconscious – the constant drone
of the engines set off an answering buzz in his head.
But suddenly vague
memories from the Day of the Dead exploded in his head, all the more startling
because of their previous absence. There
were no images – why should there be? He
hadn’t seen anything after Guevera had set in with his drill, but the
sensations and sounds were screaming for his attention.
he’d been strapped to, and could recall the feel of hands leading him to the
door to the outside world that he could no longer see.
against his prolonged survival.
I’ll show them. Then, almost
as an afterthought, someone had shoved his glassed back on his face.
sliding of the earpiece over the skin of his temple had been almost
indistinguishable from the other pain throbbing behind his face like a
racquetball against a gym wall. But it’d
been separate enough to sef a f a new series of lightning-like strikes of pain
through his body.
Sands jerked
dream. The pain was real, and intense,
and the hysterical screams were filling his ears.
screaming, but then decided that it was one one else.
do you think, fuckmook.
uncontrollably. He knew that was bad,
but at the moment he really didn’t care either.
Whoever had been meddling had to be taken care of.
Tess had been sleeping, deeply and without
interruption. So when her mind had
registered a loud disturbance, she’d been reluctant to awaken.
with yet another emergency.
you don’t deal with it, who will Teresa?
Whoever is supposed to be handling it doesn’t sound as if they’re doing
a good job of it.
yells. The voice was quiet, but
judging. Distraught, she cried out to
it, Haven’t
in my life?! Why are you forcing me to
deal with more?!
not forcing anything, Teresa. You’re the
one who’s taken on this responsibility.
At your urging!
my fault you listened, is it?
¡
heavy eye-lids open. The stupor that slowed
her mind and body from her impromptu nap didn’t last for long once she saw what
was going on in the cabin. There was a
woman standing in one corner, babbling incoherently, punctuating her nonsense
with the occasional hysterical shriek.
Because of the annoyance this generated, Tess a h a hard time
understanding what was happening . . . . that is until
she saw the pair of sunglasses hanging limply from the woman’s hand.
Oh, no. Please, Mary, Jesus,
Joseph, and all the saints–
Tess stood up,
narrowly missing slamming her head into the overhead compartment.
desperation, Tess found her patient and traveling companion being held back by
one of the male crewmembers. He was
fighting against the hold, but wasn’t managing to do much.
towards phantom enemies than towards the man holding him back.
All this Tess had
managed to notice in a split second, but it was the sight of his uncovered eyes
that held her in place with shock. She
didn’t know why, but the sight of his empty eye sockets was more repelling in
the everyday world that it had been in her little house.
impact of what her family had taken from this man.
But there was no
time for freezing. Sands managed to slam
his elbackback into the diaphragm he mhe man who was holding him back, knocking
the breath from him. The man let Sands
go, and with that action, time and reality seemed to slam back down on
Tessa. She scrambled across the seats as
Sands followed the noise of the now screaming flight attendant, the sound of
Sands’ own voice ringing in her ears as he cursed in fluent English and Spanish
and what she thought was Portuguese.
Ignoring her irreverent
voice which was asking where he’d learned Portuguese, Tess grabbed her
patient’s arm as he passed her, pulling him back.
she would have called hysterical in anyone else, but not in him.
her, and she ducked out of the way.
“Sands! It’s me,
Tessa. Listen to me.”
again. This time she didn’t move quickly
enough, and his fist clipped the corner of her eye.
down. It was an accident.
you; I wouldn’t let anyone hurt you.
Please, believe me.” He ignored
her.
makes you think he can hear you over the demons that grip him?
inside his grasp, her chest pressed against his.
pain. Are you going to let him kill
you? She backed away and barely
jumped aside in time to miss the kick that was meant to shatter her knee.
people back into rey way was a nice, sharp slap to the face.
was not going to help. But how was she
supposed to gain his attention enough for his mind to regain control of itself?
An idea occurred to
her. Perhaps not the best idea she’d
ever had, but it was better than slapping a man she’d just promised to keep
from harm.
never heard that promise.
But I did. It’s in the air.
lessons she’d been forced to learn as a child and as a teen, Tess lunged for
Sands the moment his pain distracted his attention from the person he thought
he was fighting off. She slammed into
his body, grabbing his wrists and holding them with all the strength available
to her. She felt Sands hit the wall, and
the moment they were no longer moving, she raised herself on her toes.
she was able to keep his hands pinned near the wall, although it was a fight to
keep them under control.
serious pain right now.
can’t last for much longer. Do what you
have to while you still can.
n stn style='mso-spacerun:yes'> The voice was
right. Even with Sands weakened from
pain and convalescence, he was quickly eating up what strength she had to
contain him with.
If she didn’t do something now, she might not be able to do
anything. Taking a deep breath, Tess
covered Sands’ mouth with her own, pressing his head back towards the wall when
he tried to balk. His struggles grew
more intense, and Tess tightened her grip while starting to pray silently.
please come back. It’s just me, just
me. No one else.
Sands wasn’t sure what was going on.
his body moving, and his eyes – his non-existent eyes – were screaming with
pain and trespass. He didn’t know what
was happening, and he knew that was dangerous, but the suspicion that
than the knowledge that he should stop.
he didn’t fight, the same wouappeappen to him.
Have to get out. He didn’t
know where the exit was. It hadn’t been
too far away. He’d caught a glimpse of
it as he’d confirmed that he was within the hold of the cartel.
A hand grabbed his
arm, and he fought against it in the same way he’d fought against the man
holding him back. Not quite as defenseless as they all thought.
trying to restrain him didn’t let go. If
anything, they grew more determined. He
heard someone talking, but he was having a hard time understanding.
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Maybe that was a good thing.
the facts at the moment.
Why were they so
persistent? Hadn’t they done already
done their worst? Why did they keep
holding him back.
A scream fought his control and clamped lips as another wave of pain
washed over him. His opponent took their
chance, driving him back against the wall and pinning his wrists.
was fighting against wasn’t very strong; he was still able to move his arms,
albeit not very far. Then the grip
tightened and his mobility lessened yet again, and then there was a pair of
determined lips against his mouth.
No. I killed her.
but he was. Besides, she had a bit more
skill when it came to kissing than this person did.
his only became more insistent.
breathe. The body pressing his to the
wall was keeping his lungs from expanding.
He tried to breathe through his mouth, but the one on his didn’t permit
air to enter his lungs that way. He
tried to be content with what air he could suck in through his nose, but it
wasn’t enough to fuel both the extreme pain and his fight.
could feel the mind-altering pain subside and become a throbbing cadence
throughout his body. As his muscles
relaxed against his will, he could feel the person against him lowering their
guard.
chance. The mouth against his
was relenting its pressure.
struck out with hiee, ee, catching whoever was holding him in the gut.
behind him. Unable to stay on his feet,
he fto hto his knees.
“Damnit Sands, that
was unnecessary.” A woman’s voice
reached his voice. It was breathless, as
if the owner was finding it troublesome to breathe.
He knew that
voice. The woman, the crazy one.
He could remember where he was, what had happened, and where he was
going. “What the hell was that?”
Tess laughed, still
trying to convince her lungs that they really did want to breathe.
her patient was swaying on his knees.
The ashen tone of his skin concerned her, but not as much as the groan
that fought its way out of his chest.
“Stay with me, Sands. I don’t
think either of us has the strength to go through that again.”
raisengernger encouraged her in a perverse fashion.
She reached out and laid a hesitant hand on his shoulder.
strength to dislodge it. “No, don’t
fight. A spoonful of sugar helps the
medicine go down.”
“That was some low
grade sugar.” Sands could feel his grip
on reality sliding towards blackness.
him, he really couldn’t give a damn.
Tess was about to
make a biting comeback, or at least rattle off another confusing quote, but
what Sands did next surprised her too much.
One moment he was swaying on his knees, and the
next he was falling. She just barely
managed to catch him before he hit the ground.
For a moment she
simply held him in her arms, aware that he was breathing and his heart was
beating and he wasn’t leaking blood. It
was a novel experience for her, one she was unsure of how to deal with.
than she was used to being held. No one
had ever cared about her enough to hold her, and she’d never cared enough for
someone to hold them.
in your head, Teresa?
caught with their hand in the cookie jar.
Nothing.
hitting the floor.
out of that danger for some time now.
“Looks like you’ve
had a bit of excitement.” Tess looked up
into Tina’s understanding eyes, relieved to be able to focus on something other
than the insinuations of her voice, but scared.
She didn’t want to be feeling anything that needed understanding.
If her voice had a
face, it would be grinning evilly.
Aftermath. Tess
moment, things were fine. The voice
usually left her alone then. But
aftermath was nothing more than a theme park for her voice.
needed to happen with all the enthusiasm of a paraplegic who found he could
suddenly walk.
Tina was extremely
helpful with the aftermath up to a point.
She managed to convince Mike – the man who’d been doing his best to
detain Sands – to come back and help get the unconscious man into his seat, and
she also kept the kids busy while Tess saw to her patient.
Of course, getting
him back into his seat had been the biggest struggle.
trouble, which was a blessing in itself.
As long as he stayed unconscious, she was able to tend to him and give
him a shot of codeine. She would have
preferred to use something stronger, but she knew he didn’t want anything in
his system to begin with, so she compromised and hoped that she wouldn’t end up
reaping trouble for it later.
When Tess finally
sat down again, struggling to control both her actively rebelling mind and her
growing tempter, Tina was there to provide distraction.
“Ms. Gonzales?
pack?” The older woman thought that the
spot where Sands had caught Tess with his fist might bruise.
“Who was it?”
hands. She could feel her temper and
confusion battling for dominance over her mind.
She couldn’t deal with the quens hns her meddlesome voice was raising at
the moment, so she gave in to her temper.
“The woman who took off his glasses.
Where is she? I want to talk to
her.”
There must have
been something about her voice that gave Tina pause, because she didn’t answer
right away. And when she did finally
answer, her voice was cautious.
“Payton’s in the back. I’m afraid
that she got quite a scare.”
The explanation
infuriated Tess. She rose to her feet
and started pacing, her hands clenched together behind her back to keep them
from trembling with anger and exhaustion.
“Good. She deserved to be
scared. She deserved to be frightened
out of her wits.” She hurt someone under my care.
He’s mine.
agitated voice, “She intruded on a man’s privacy – causing him extreme physical
and emotional pain. This in turn threw
the entire cabin into an uproar, and she was damn lucky things didn’t get
anymore serious.” They would have if I hadn’t taken away his gun.
feeling all that great, and if the children had been in here they would have
been terrified. Who knows what other
repercussions are going to arise from this?
I certainly don’t, but I know that I’m
the one who’s going to have to deal with them, not that overly-attentive woman
barely out of childhood. That damn
busybody deserves a hell of a lot more than a simple scare.”
Tessa’s voice,
noticing her agitation, was more than happy to switch its attention from the
feelings the episode with Sands had raised to her anger with the young flight
attendant. Tess felt the surge of
uncontrollable rage as it fed the anger, panic, and guilt gripping her.
do to keep herself from screaming at it or at Tina, who was only trying to help
her. Oh
god, oh god.
Please no.
long practice, Tess turned her anger into an extra wall to keep her other side
from overwhelming her.
“Ms. Gonzales?”
“Teresa,” she
gasped. She needed all the reminders she
could get of who she really was by this point.
If she wasn’t extremely careful, she was going to fall to pieces right
here and now, and she highly doubted that the crew was trained to deal with
someone having a schizophrenic episode.
“Please, call me Teresa.” Tess
sat back down, taking the seat next to Sands.
She reached over to take his pulse, more of a motion to cover her
growing disturbance than to ensure herself that he was alright.
I don’t want to set eyes on her again.”
If I do, I don’t know if I can be
held responsible for what I’ll do to her.
so tame, Teresa. You should be asking
for her head, demanding her job. Your
father never would have stood for this.
Why are you? Find the woman.
gun. You know how to use it.
care. Do it.
care for.
“No!
talking out loud, Teresa.
“Teresa?”
that the balance had finally tipped to the voice’s favor, before realizing that
Tina was the one addressing her. “Are
you alright?”
It was the concern
in the woman’s voice that made Tess look at her.
instability’. Instability. Ha.
ship while only having the use of one leg.
open. She knew her control was crumbling
rapidly and that she’d demanded too much from it as of late.
sleep.
“Do you want me to
keep the kids occupied until we land? I
can do it. There’s lots to see and do on
even a plane this size. And the baby
wouldn’t be a problem either. Until my
daughter decides to settle down I don’t have anyone else to spoil.”
Tess nodded, the
other woman’s concern touching her deeply.
Ignoring the
cynical tone to that comment, and the ring of truth behind it, Tess
nodded. “If you wouldn’t mind, that
would be wonderful.”
at all, you you’ll sleep better if you know everyone is looked after.”
Tess wasn’t about
to go back to sleep after what had happened the last time she’d tried, but she
nodded. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> She watched at Tina scooped
into her arms and left the cabin, closing the door behind her.
Once she was sure
she was alone, Tessa got up from her seat and opened her trunk, which was still
out after giving Sands a dose of painkillers.
Quickly, she located her booster shot and gave it to herself.
Sands, she waited for it to take hold.
Time passed in
silence for five or ten minutes before her voice became aware of what she’d
done. In retaliation it broke in on her
emptying mind, raising all the concerns and tangled feelings that it’d been
saving for later. You pretend to be a detached
medical ‘practioner’, but you’re not.
You’re a phony. It’s no wonder
your father called you home after you graduated.
internship, but working as a resident or in private practice would have killed
you by now. You’re getting close to this
man. Interested.
Enthralled. You pretend you don’t
know what’s happening, but you do. You
You must be a masochist. But
that’s okay, because I think he’s a sadist.
So therefore, you’re the perfect couple, really.
like him. You’re right, perhaps I’m
coming to care for him – and that wasn’t in the plan – but I don’t like
him. I know exactly what would come of liking
him – nothing. I’ve had relationships
like that with people already, thank you.
before even doing so much as giving him something for the pain – and his face
was pale. Almost as pale as it’d been
the day she’d brought him home with her.
weren’t exactly feeling repulsed when you kissed him back there.
Il'>I wasn’t turned on either. She
couldn’t see any blood, but that was to be expected by now.
they wouldn’t break open at a moment’s notice.
However, he had managed to rough himself up.
Admit it – you’ve wanted to do
that for awhile now, and there was a part of you who was sorry to stop kissing
him. Tess swore that the voice
took a perverse pleasure in reminding of her exactly how Sands’ lips had felt
underneath hers. She didn’t want to
remember. Irritably, Tess replied.
you. You were the one that was sorry.
I wasn’t thrilled about doing
it in the first place. It wasn’t exactly
a pleasant experience.
so it’s worked its way up to being an ‘experience’ now, has it?
weaker. In a few more minutes she
wouldn’t have to put up with its questioning any longer.
responded? What would you have done if
he’d tried to take things farther?
herself. I would have stopped him. It
wouldn’t have been hard in his condition.
if he remembers and tries to . . . oh, I dunno, resume
that little scene? Then what will you
do? Will you fight . . . or will you
He’s not going to try anything.
if he does? You still haven’t answered
my question Teresa.
“Fuck off.”
finally taken hold. Tess sighed in
relief, and then sat up as straight in her chair as she could.
she had them all safely tucked away in LA.
The plane landed at LAX a little more than three hours
later. This time they would be
disembarking at a terminal, and
was supposed to be waiting for them.
Tessa found that Tina would be going with them as far as the gate,
though she volunteered to go as far as the car with them.
some gratitude, thinking that she was going to have enough on her hands with
helping Sands without angering him without watching after the kids as
well. It was hard to lend a helping hand
while also holding a bab one one arm and keeping a hand on child who was prone
to wander. And her head hurt, but that
was a minor consideration.
“‘Giovanni’, we’re
here. It’s time to wake up.”
slumbering tiger, Tess reached out a hand and laid it on Sands’ shoulder.
and I can’t do that here. I’d shock
people if I started undressing you in public.”
The voice stirred at the mention of undressing someone, but it settled
when it realized it’d been a joke.
However, Sands started to stir and didn’t stop.
“I’m not
surprised. Neither of us was being all
that gentle there for a moment.”
“Ah, niña, you
should have waited until I was fully conscious before letting me lay you.”
If he was making
comments like that, he was fine. She
ignored the blush that came to her face at his comments and their similarity to
the conversation she’d been having earlier.
“Hope springs eternal in the human chest; man never is, but always to be
blest. We both know that’s
doubt that thoughts like that have a prominent place in your dreams.
He hated to admit
it, but he thought he might have a bit of trouble with that.
of the seat. He was tired. And sore.
feet and not leaning on the woman in front of him.
him. It was hard to tell at the moment;
it was hard to focus at the moment.
certain amount of attraction at the moment.
Not that he’d be able to see it.
He followed the
sound of childish laughter and Tessa’s footsteps as the group left the
plane. The room was spinning around h
or
or to be more precise, he was suffering from an extreme case of vertigo – he
couldn’t see the room. He was fine as
long as the floor was solid underneath him, but the moment they stepped into
the terminal, his steps faltered.
Before Sands could
make a fool of himself, Tessa was there, slipping an arm around his waist and
raising his own arm to lay around her shoulders.
saying a thing to him. That suited Sands
just fine – if she’d made some sort of comforting remark he would have hurt
her. This whole being dependent on
another person was getting old real quick.
signs of getting tired of supporting him.
“What?”
nowhere?
“You asked who I
used for your passport photo. It was a
photo of Johnny Depp. Of course, we
doctored it a little. No one is as
gorgeous as Johnny.” Was she teasing
him?
The moment that
they were back on solid ground, Tess removed her arm from around his body,
although she didn’t move far away from him.
She was careful to stay close by his side and to keep her voice raised
above the sudden bombardment of sound that enclosed them.
On this side of the
border, the security check was more cursory than thorough.
was a genuine American citizen with them, or perhaps it was that he
looked like he was ready to fall flat on his face at the slightest provocation
– he really didn’t care at this point.
Whatever had happened earlier – and it really disturbed him that he
couldn’t remember – had taken a lot of his strength.
going to have to get some answers out of Tess later.
a moment, and that was never good.
They passed through
the security checkpoint, and suddenly Sands heard a squeal.
an attack, I hope they just shoot me.
The sound of footsteps running away from him let him know that he wasn’t
in imminent danger. Tess would never
leave someone under her care to fend for themselves as
she ran for safety. She must have seen
someone she recognized. A moment later a
man’s voice confirmed his suspicions.
“T!”
an>Aan>A smallish hand
slipped into his. “Hóla, señor.”
“Hey kid.”
hear of Tessa’s reunion. There was
laughter and the sound of hands slapping against backs.
“I don’t
tall and blonde. I think –”
Whatever else
Marcos had been about to say was cut off by a loud round of laughter and a
man’s voice saying, “I’m a relatively respectable citizen.”
Tess joined him for
the rest of the statement before the man could finish.
dangerous.” They both laughed.
up now.