Apprentice To The Sorcerer

Because my watch had lengthened, I got to see Jack take the helm from Gibbs. “From now til Good Hope,” Jack insisted. Gibbs wandered away, muttering. Curious, I swung down and intercepted Gibbs before he could find something to do.

“What’s wrong?” I asked quietly, not looking at our captain.

“He knows the waters,” Gibbs said. “A warm and cold current come together here.”

I knew enough to understand this would cause dangerous swells and odd tides. “So why didn’t you want to give up the helm?” I asked.

Gibbs rolled his shoulders and sighed heavily. “Jack’s got bad memories of this area, f’some reason. I’m thinking it had to do with slavers. Lotta Cape Town’s workers are Indonesian or Malagasy slaves. The Dutch East India Company and all that. I just didn’t want him stressin’.”

This sounded like a half truth to me. Gibbs knew and trusted Jack better than anyone. He’d hardly make a lot of noise over being asked to relinquish the helm in the first place. Everyone knew Jack’s love affair with his ship. He took the helm as he pleased and when he pleased.

Barely had Gibbs left me, Jack motioned me up to him. Feeling guilty, I made my way to him. “Yes, sir?”

“Let me guess,” Jack said, smiling. His eyes were dangerous. “Dutch East India Trading Company and yours truly?” he inquired. “The delicate nature of my past as a lash to the wheel?”

“Slavers,” I answered, neither confirming nor denying he’d been right in his guess. “I’m sorry Captain, I shouldn’t have asked.”

“No, you shouldn’t have, but that isn’t the point, lad,” Jack said lowly. “Being a pirate is mostly about doing things you shouldn’t.”

“It isn’t that I care where we go,” I said cautiously. “I go where you direct.”

“Without fail,” Jack admitted solemnly, nodding.

“And I wouldn’t question your ability to get us where we need to be, either,” I went on.

“Not now you wouldn’t,” Jack said mysteriously. “You aren’t in trouble, lad. There’s no need to defend yourself.” He took out his flask and drank a small swallow. “How are your music lessons coming?”

“I’ve been practicing,” I admitted. “I made a replica of the pipe that won’t make sound.”

“Let me see it.”

I handed Jack the plugged pipes. He smiled a little at my workmanship. “Good,” he praised simply. “Practice hard. There’s magic to make and I believe you’re the one to make it.” He put his flask away and looked up at the sky. “I find my zenith doth depend upon a most auspicious star.”

“Sir, it’s the middle of the day,” I said quietly.

Jack swung his eyes back down to me. I fell into their brown, bottomless depths without a thought for breathing. My belly went taut as he smiled at me gently. “You don’t need night to see your star,” Jack whispered, pitching his voice so low and warm I shivered. “You can feel your star, Lei. Close your eyes.”

I closed my eyes gratefully. Jack put his hands on my shoulders and turned me around a few times until I no longer knew which part of the ship I might be facing. “Pitch and roll, roll and pitch, swing and float,” Jack chanted. “You bob along, cutting water and courting wind. Do you feel it?”

My feet felt heavy on the deck. The hypnotic dance of our craft dwindled to pinpoint brilliance, a weightless cork floating in a pond. The creaking planks, the flogging sails, the snapping flag joined the heavy rhythm at the water line.

“Everything exists in a moment, Lei,” Jack whispered. “All sensation is now. Every blink, every swallow, every click of your teeth marks a past and a future. And it’s good, and it’s how it’s meant to be. Surrender to the moment.” He moved closer. I could feel his heat and smell him, the hot tang of tanned flesh and sugar. “Drift, be the moment, Lei,” he lulled.

Drunk on Jack’s voice, I found the clarity of the moment. Everything in my scope converged upon a central point. Each moment had a lifetime, a voice, a spark. As soon as it died, another birthed upon it. Endlessly cyclic, vast in scope and yet signifying nothing, it nonetheless matched me to my depths. I lost contact with my body even though I still sensed the space I occupied.

“The moment is there, Lei, and your star is in it.”

The core of my spirit tugged toward a point past the horizon.

I gasped as I aligned. Clutching at my heart, I opened my eyes. The beauty of what I felt, what I now understood, made water flood my eyes. I found significance in a hundred tiny ways, saw my exact placement and the importance of myself, neither praising nor condemning for what I was/am/will be. I had a star.

I looked at Jack. He knew. He knew what I felt. He’d put me on that path deliberately. He’d known he would change me.

Jack was a magician, to be able to do this. The more I thought about it, the more it fit. Things always seemed to work out in Jack’s favor. He knew his moment. He’d known his moment for a very long time.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Jack said softly, “when you realize you can stop searching for your star.” Though he faced me, he had one hand on the wheel. He guided us without looking.

A shiver wracked my body as two impulses struck at once. The first, to run away, seemed paramount. Jack scared me. He was vast, infinite, powerful and completely had me in his path. Whatever force guided him, it liked the taste of me. Jack had known the secret of the universe and shared it with me. The awesome size of his gift demanded an equal gift in turn.

I was a child turned up at a birthday party only to find I’d left my gift at home, sitting on the bed in a brightly wrapped parcel.

The second impulse, to throw myself at him, also demanded obeisance. I wanted to surrender to Jack Sparrow. I wanted him to plunder me. I wanted underneath him, legs spread apart. I wanted to belong to him, to never leave him. Hot currents of energy soared through my body and reached for him.

“Open the compass for me, Lei,” Jack said, handing over his beloved instrument.

I took it. My hands shook. I pressed my fingers to the tiny latch but I couldn’t make myself open the thing. Now I felt the moment a different way. I teetered on the edge of a precipice. Every time I’d opened the damn compass it had pointed directly to Jack. If he saw that, what would he think? “I- I can’t,” I stuttered.

“Do you want to see where you can find the thing you want most in the whole world?” Jack asked softly. “That’s what my compass does. It’s magic.”

“I already know what I want,” I said hastily, trying to give the compass back. To my relief, he accepted it.

“And what is that, if ye don’ mind me askin’?” His cocky, playful slur had returned full force.

“I’m not ready to share that,” I said. “I haven’t had near enough rum.”

Jack laughed very softly. “Neither have I, lad, and its rough seas ahead. Gibbs will alert the crew to tighten everything down, but I want you on the lines when it gets choppy, savvy?”

“Yes, sir,” I said.

“Good. Go have a wee rest in me cabin. Don’t study. Sleep.”

I dutifully retreated to Jack’s refuge, my mind and body whirling. Once surrounded by his things and in his bed, I let go of my nervous shivers. I could still feel my star, twinkling above and beyond me toward the open sea.

I slept six hours before Gibbs came to get me. As the quartermaster inquired over my health and whether or not Jack knew I was in his cabin, I felt my star. As I answered him, I felt my star. As I hung my real pipes around my neck I realized I could play the wind anytime I wanted. I’d only lacked the confidence to try. My star gave me courage because it belonged to me, shone for me, guided me. I felt awe for Jack’s accomplishment in showing me myself; he’d ever been the one to do that, but never in such a way as this.

I admired him. I felt undying loyalty to him.

I mused on the stories that had fed my love of adventure and the sea. Nearly all of them involved Jack. How disappointed I had been when he’d shown himself to be selfish and ungentlemanly. After all, having a manacle chain around your neck and a pistol against your head can change your ideas about someone. Later I understood I might have done the same thing. Indeed, now I knew I would if it meant saving my hide.

But it had set the mood between us. I used him; he used me, and so on. We traded each other’s worth back and forth, traded lies and brute force and cunning to get what we wanted.

Peas in a pod, darlin, he’d said. I’d had no idea how right he was. But he’d seen himself in me, somehow. Only these days did I grasp it.

The wind and rain buffeted us something fierce. Jack’s hands, firmly riveted to the wheel, were white-knuckled. He made minute adjustments with effort, working in concert with Gibb’s shouted instructions to the riggers. The instructions weren’t really needed. Everyone knew exactly how to handle themselves and the sails. But I drew comfort from having someone in charge and suspected the rest of the crew did as well. It made them feel secure.

Instead of taking my position, I asked Mokulu to take my place. He didn’t ask me what I meant to do. “Dis your favor?” he inquired.

“It is,” I said.

“I do it.” Mokulu tied his hair back and went aloft. I made my way aft and took the pipes out of my shirt. What we needed was a calm but steady wind, sans rain. It needed to come from the east and catch full sail. Hopefully the riggers and Gibbs would make the adjustments quickly or we might back-sail.

I raised the instrument.

From the first note, I saw it. The air in front of me coalesced into a blue, indistinct and wispy shape. As I proceeded with the measure, it grew, expanded to three times my size. The spirit spiraled around my body, caught me in a draft neither hot nor cold. I played on, gaining confidence overtop my amazement with this magic.

The Pearl rocked gently as the harsh wind abruptly died, leaving only the unusual currents to struggle over. I believed if I stopped playing, the wind would begin again, so I played on, watching the spirit swoop around the vessel. It created a wall, a barrier to the aggressive wind, and stirred a direct wind of its own making to propel us. My eyes took in the astonishment of the crew, the hasty adjustments to the sails, but no one seemed to see my wind spirit.

The song had such a lovely, eerie melody that I knew everyone attended it even as they worked.

Jack gave the helm to Gibbs. As he turned I beheld his smile, and it was only for me. Pride suffused his entire demeanor as he sauntered to where I stood. Feeling nervous, I made the effort not to falter in my playing. The heat of his too-close body shook my nerves. Steam rolled off of him as he dried. His wet shirt showed transparent since he’d not worn his coat. I could see nearly all of his tattoos, and much of his muscle definition.

He stood beside me for hours as I controlled our wind. My strength flagged but I played on. The sun broke through the grey canopy of the sky, sending beams of golden promise over the ocean. Still, I played another hour to make sure we were out of the storm. On the final note I swooned. Letting the pipes drop to my chest, I lurched for the rail and hung over it, breathing heavily.

The quiet on the ship seemed loud as thunder, magnifying my harsh breathing in my ears.

“C’mon, lad,” Jack said, taking me by the elbow. “Sit down.” He guided me to the planks gently. “You were splendid. I knew you could do it.”

“You were the only one,” I joked weakly. “I can’t look up. What do the rest of them think, I wonder?”

“Confused, I’ll wager,” Jack replied. “Mostly it’s women that control the elements.”

“Indeed?” I felt a bit of feminine pride. “Why is that?”

“There are three forces that cannot be quantified,” Jack answered. “Everyone expects fire to burn them; that is the masculine element. But earth can swallow you without warning, and you never know when the sea will claim you. Wind is the partner of the sea. Eventually one pays a toll for smooth sailing, but no one knows when the toll will be asked.” He gave me his flask as he spoke, hesitating when he had to wipe a bit of cork from the rim. “And women are as turbulent and mysterious as the sea, directed like the wind, flying from one duty to the next and destroying any man who dares relax in their presence. Likewise, women are earth, accepting seed and growing things. They nourish.”

I chanced a look at him, unable to believe he really thought about women that way. He laughed at my expression. “You don’t believe me?”

“My mother was a woman, after all,” I defended.

“And she went from gentle breeze to hurricane for your sake, didn’t she?” Jack rejoined, though not harshly. “Me own mum was a force all her own.”

We looked up as the shadow of Mokulu fell across us. “I not take the favor,” the big man said. “I work for you as gift.”

“Thanks,” I mumbled, a bit apprehensive.

Mokulu examined us closely a moment, his face earnest and searching. “De Captain, he has de blessings of Nun, but you have blessings of Horus. Togedder we all profit. Is it not so?” He asked the gathering crowd behind him, not us. “We mus’ be humble before de workings of gods.”

Fifty percent of our crew gave him blank stares, but the other half stared at me and Jack with awed gazes and slack jaws.

Jack stood up. “S’what ye be saying, Mokulu,” he said, “Is that Lei and I are blessed by gods we know nothing about?” He grinned, but not in an insulting way, more like delighted than anything else.

“Ah, but you know dem, Captain, you just not know names,” Mokulu answered. “It not matter. I make offerings for you both.”

Ragetti twisted his hat in his hands, looking extremely nervous and thoughtful. “What about the Almighty?” he queried.

“Dey have many names,” Mokulu said solemnly. “All gods answer to de spirit inside.”

“What’s that mean?” Pintel blurted out.

“’e means that all gods are the same and that they answer to the prayers of those who believe in what they represent,” Ragetti said, daring to cuff his friend on the shoulder. “Stupid,” he added.

“Land ho! We’re on the Cape!” Landry shouted from the far rail. The crowd dispersed as everyone scurried to man their posts.

In twenty minutes or more I beheld a large mountain range on the land before us. Incredibly, one mountain looked sheered flat on top. I looked at Jack, who studied me with kohl-lined eyes. “The table,” he said, pointing to where I had been looking. “Most days it has a cloud lying atop it, like a tablecloth. That’s Devil’s Peak to the east and Lion’s Head to the west. Impressive, isn’t it? If one feels like risking the erratic wave pattern here, one can fish off the side of the cliffs.”

“Dangerous,” I said with a shiver.

“Indisputably,” Jack murmured. “The men will hunt dassie when we make land, so there’s no need to fish. You haven’t lived until you’ve eaten roasted klipspringer though. Rosemary, basil and garlic wrapped around the meat and cased in layers of rooibus tea, buried like a pig and roasted…” he trailed off, his face assuming a mien of pleasure.

I understood his love of fresh meat. Sailors didn’t get fresh meat at all often, no matter who they worked for.

“You must be tired, Lei,” Jack said suddenly. “Go have a lie-in. I’ll have someone wake you before we drop anchor and make land.”

I turned to go, feeling as bone-weary as I ever had.

“And Lei?” Jack called after me.

“Yes?” I stopped and faced him again.

“I don’t often like to repeat myself, but I feel compelled.” Jack’s eyes were bright with emotion I could not name. “You did very well. I’m proud of you, boy.”

I smiled in answer, having no words to express how grateful I was for his regard. I only wished I could have that same regard as Elizabeth, not Lei, but I didn’t dare reveal myself. The longer I existed as Lei the angrier Jack would become should he learn the truth. No man likes being tricked.