Freak is an Ugly Word

Another chapter out for all of you. Thanks to those that reviewed and rated. It is much appreciated.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The concrete covered ground was hard and cold, though there was a flattened cardboard box between Princess and it. Her back ached from sleeping on it. Never had she slept in the open like she had done last night. She had always had four walls and a soft bed. The smell that surrounded her was horrid, but nothing she could not handle. The Narrows had a much similar smell. The smell of pollution, booze, and body odor. Only difference was the Narrow had the sent of sex mingled in with it.

People surrounded her. All different shapes, sizes and colors. Yellow ones, black ones, and white ones. Crazy and sane ones. Alcoholics and drug addicts. All of them homeless. They had taken her in the night before as one of them saw her passing by crying wrapped up in the purple blanket. It had been a woman and a man that had first spotted her, called to her and invited her in to their circle. Husband and wife they had called each other, though neither of them had a ring to prove it. Even those stricken to the worst form of poverty could love. Something Princess could not bring herself to do.

They had introduced themselves as Mary and Earl. Mary was a woman of stout stature. A small nose, small lips, and small beady brown eyes. Princess could not tell the color of her hair for it was so caked with dirt and grime it was hard to discern. Though her appearance was not pleasing, Mary was very nice and had the sweetest voice Princess had ever heard. It did not correspond with the harsh life she had been living.

Bob was the complete opposite of his “wife.” He was very tall and slim. He had a rather large bulbous nose, large lips, and wide sky blue eyes. There was not a single hair on his head and his voice was deep and gravely, painfully reminding Princess of Croc. His features made him look crude and ugly. It was as if his maker had grabbed random parts from a bowl and threw them on as they saw fit. But despite his features, just like his “wife” he was a very nice man.

Both of them had elected to give up their spot for the night and let Princess sleep while they stood watch over her. Princess did not argue with them, she was too tired. While with Joker, she had had a minimal amount of sleep and as soon as her head had hit the dirty cardboard box, her eyes had closed and had not opened until the harsh sunlight had hit them.

With the blanket wrapped firmly around her small form, she sat and stared at those around her. None of them approached her. They stared at with questioning eyes, but did not come to her and ask what was on their mind. It was the way they were, leave well enough alone. She was with them and they did not need to know the reasoning behind it. They were all there for one reason or another, all in the same boat. With no money and no place to live.

The bruise, now fading, Andy had left on her neck told them that she had been abused as did her busted lip and the bandages on her arm and hand. Most of them, those that were sane, had guessed that she had run off from her abusive boyfriend. They were wrong, but they would never ask otherwise. All they knew was that she was small, cleaner than they were, and she would not survive long. Survival was of the fittest, and she was not the fittest.

Mary plopped herself next to Princess on the cardboard box and studied her for a moment. Her small beady brown eyes took in everything of the tiny girl. Even she knew that Princess would not last long out there. The girl had followed her and Earl, two people she did not even know, without question. She was too trusting. Mary and Earl could have been leading her to her death, and still she would have followed. Followed because she did not know what else to do.

“Did ya sleep well, sweetheart?” Mary asked flashing Princess a smile that showed her dirty brown rotting teeth.

Princess nodded in response to her inquiry. “Thank ya,” she muttered to the woman.

“Not a problem, sweetheart. Me ‘n Earl knew as soon as we saw ya that ya needed help. We can’ offa ya much, but a place ta sleep. We ain’t got no food.”

“That’s fine. I’m used ta goin’ hungry. I can get my own food if I hafta.”

“’N how ya planin’ on doin’ that? Ya can’t do that wrapped up in a blanket all day.”

A sigh passed through Princess’ lips. “I’ll do it the only way I know how. I’ll whore myself out.”

Shocked, Mary stared bug eyed at the girl. With how small the woman’s eyes were, Princess never thought they could get so wide. It gave her the appearance of a bloated frog. “Oh, sweetheart, that’s a dangerous thing ta do.”

Standing up, Princess let the blanket fall to the flattened cardboard box. “I know. I lived in the Narrows.” She did not need to explain more. Everyone in Gotham, even the homeless, knew that the Narrows was the most dangerous and poverty stricken part of the city. “If I don’ come back, keep the blanket. I don’ want it.”

With a small wave, Princess left the woman, the blanket, and the poor behind. She had no intention of going back there. She must keep moving. Staying in a spot too long could be dangerous. If the mob was looking for her, they would find her and take her back to the life she did not want. She would rather die of starvation than go back there. Even the prospect of Croc’s strong arms wrapped around her would not change her mind.

As she walked out of the alleyway, she was met with the noises of the city. It was the sounds she was used to. Instead of screams, shouts of abuse, and gunshots, she was met with horns honking, the roaring of an engine as a car drove by, and shouts of friendly welcoming. This was a totally different realm of Gotham. It was nothing like the Narrows. The streets were clean. The buildings were neatly rowed together and not randomly strewn about. Windows were so clean, Princess could see her reflection as she passed. As people passed her by, she noticed they had cell phones attached to their ears and their clothes were clean and expensive. Most wore designer, not that Princess would know the difference.

She was out of place, and she knew it. So did the others. Most stared at her as she walked by. Princess did not blame them, she knew she must have looked horrible. Her hair had not been brushed in days. There was probably the same dirt and grime in it that Mary had so fashionably donned. Her clothes were plain and mismatched. Since there had been blood on her clothes, Joker had gotten her some new ones. A neon orange shirt, which made the bruise on her neck stand out, to go along with bright yellow short shorts.
Another thing that got the people staring at her was the fact that she wore no shoes. Her feet were swollen and cut from walking so far the night before. If Mary and Earl had not offered a place for Princess to sleep, she would have continued walking until she had passed out from exhaustion. Her feet did not pain her as she expected them to. Walking on them did not feel good, but it was not the worst she had dealt with. It was easy to grow accustomed to the pain.

Not a single person offered her any help. Just stared at her, some with pity in their eyes. In Gotham, if one offered their help, trouble usually ensued. It was best to leave well enough alone. There was no telling what kind of crazy Princess could have been. For all they knew, she could have murdered her entire family, though she did not look capable of accomplishing such a feat.

Ignoring the stares, Princess kept walking with arms folded over her small chest. There was not a clue in her head as to where she was headed. She only knew the Narrows, and not much of that place. There had never been time for her to explore. Just eat, sleep, fuck, and the occasional beatings.

Slowly she walked down the street. The crowd parted for her making it easier for her to walk. All of them moved quickly out of her way. It was as if she had some kind of disease and they were all afraid to catch it. Princess would occasionally glare at the onlookers. She did not like them. None of them. Snotty rich pricks is what they were. More worried about themselves that what was going on around them. They stood there, staring at her with their judging eyes. Casting her out without even taking her in.

Princess could handle the stares no longer. Stopping dead, she whipped around to them. Most were still standing there, staring at her with their judgmental eyes. “What?!” Princess screamed at them. “Ya got a problem with me?!” None of them replied, but still stood watching. A small crowd was gathering, and even people across the street were watching the scene. Some had their cell phones out taking pictures and making videos. “What’s ya problem, huh?! Not a single one of ya rich pricks have even offered ta help me! What’s the matter, afraid ya might catch poor?!” she spat. “It’s not a fuckin’ disease! Why don’ ya’ll go fuck yaselves!”

With that being said, Princess turned around and stormed off. That was the first time she had yelled at anyone unprovoked. She had to admit, it had felt good. Damn good. No longer was she walking with her head downcast and her arms defensively placed across her chest. Her head was held high and she strutted down the street as if she owned it. She felt like a whole other person.

It was not until she bumped into someone did her insecurities return. She had run into a man. He was taller than her; so much she had ran face first into his chest. He had bright blond hair that came just to the tips of his ears, and light green eyes. He was a very handsome man, but made Princess feel uneasy.

“Are you lost, little girl?” he asked her in a patronizing tone. There was a smile on his face, and it was fake. After spending time with Joker and Doc, she could tell the difference. Doc never had a fake smile on his face, but Joker did. This man’s smile reminded her of that.

Though the man was very handsome, he made Princess uneasy. Partially from the way he smiled at her, partially from the way he talked to her in such a condescending tone. Princess was used to being talked down like that, but how he did it, made her shift from one foot to the other and place a protective arm across herself.

“You must be lost,” he answered himself still in the patronizing tone. “I guess I’ll just have to help you find your way.” Turning to run, the man stopped her with a strong grip on her upper arm. “Come on, little girl, there’s no need to be afraid. I won’t hurt you. I just want to help.”

Princess tried to pull away from him, but to no avail. “Let me go!” she half commanded half begged. Not being able to think of anything else, she kicked him in the shin.
He grunted in pain, but his grip grew tighter. His eyes narrowed dangerously at her.

“Now, that’s no way to treat someone who’s trying to help you. You’re an ungrateful little bitch, and are in need of a lesson in manners.”

“Fuck you!” she spat. This time, Princess was not going down without a fight. She was tired of people doing whatever they pleased with her. Tired of men taking advantage of her. So, she bit, kicked, and clawed at the man, and he still continued to drag her off.
She had no idea where he was taking her, but she had a feeling that it was not going to end well. Most likely she would end up on the front pages of the paper as another dead body to add to Gotham’s never ending list.

All Princess’ focus was on trying to get away from the man so she never realized when the man had taken her down an alley. She bit him once more, as hard as she could. The salty metallic taste of blood filled her mouth and she bit down harder, nearly locking her jaw. The man cried out in pain, ripped her teeth from his flesh, and slammed her head against the nearby brick wall.

Adrenaline coursed through Princess’ veins and she did not feel the pain that she should have. Taking advantage of the fact that the man was turned away from her, looking at his wound, she kicked him again. Kicked him where it counted most. He doubled over and she punched him in the face, and then took off running.

She reached the street, her heart pounding fiercely in her chest. Her right hand hurt from hitting the man. She had never hit someone before and never realized how much pain could be associated with it. A couple of her fingers had to be broken. She did not have time to worry about that though. The man could be after her any moment. So, she continued to run down the sidewalk, her feet now bleeding, and her heart still hammering against her chest.

When the adrenaline rush finally subsided, her speed slowed to a stumbling walk. Her head hurt and she felt dizzy. Warm liquid ran down the side of her face, letting her know that it was bleeding. She did not reach up and check to see if she was right, fear of her own blood would not allow her to do so.

While walking, she used the nearby buildings for support. Tired. She was so very tired, but knew better than to stop and rest. She had to reach a safe place. As safe a place she could find. But she was in unknown territory and had not the slightest clue as to where she could go. All she could was put on foot in front of the other. A task that was not found simple with her tired legs.

When her dizziness had come to its worse, she started to slowly count in her head. Anything to keep her mind moving. It helped somewhat, but the sickening dizzy feeling was starting to win. No matter how high she counted, her eyes would try to force themselves closed. Then, she decided to stop. Stop and rest. It would only be just a minute. She was far away from the man and was sure that he was no longer following her, if he had been in the first place. Paranoia had made her believe so.

Like a stone, she dropped to the hard ground. Pain shot up her back, but the throbbing of her head made it seem more like a dull ache. Desperately, she tried to keep her eyes open. It was a fight she was losing badly. They kept closing no matter how many times she forced them back open.

It was like a strobe light effect for her. One second her eyes would be open and someone would pass her by, the next darkness, only for them to open once again and another person be strolling passed her. None of the people even gave Princess a glance. They were all too worried about their cell phones and business meetings. Too busy with their lives to worry about some girl leaning heavily against a building and blood pouring from her head.

When she opened her eyes one last time, there was a woman standing in front of her. Her brown eyes were widened with worry. Princess recognized her; she was the Latino cop from her time at the station. She giggled at the site of the woman. “You’re eyes are big,” she informed the woman before she completely blacked out.

Hours later, Princess woke up on a hospital bed. Instantly, her hand shot up and touched the left side of her head. Her fingers grazed across fabric. So, her head was now bandaged and she was sitting alone in a hospital room in the dark. What fun she was having! So much, she had no idea what to do with her time.

Huffing, Princess ripped the covers off of her. Her feet were bandaged as well. Looking at her left arm and right hand, she came to notice that they had fresh gauze wrapped around them. More than ever she felt like a mummy, a good portion of her small body was wrapped up in the white gauze.

Princess grumbled and swung her legs to where they dangled off of the bed. Slowly and carefully, she set her feet onto the cold white tiled floor. Applying a little weight to her feet, she tested to see if it would hurt. No pain came, so she stood up and walked to the bathroom.

Once in there, she avoided the mirror and did her business. She quickly exited the room, but a voice called to her stopping her. “I’m hurt, Princess,” she heard that all too familiar voice, “you’re deliberately trying to avoid me.” Princess turned and saw only her reflection. But it was not what she expected to see. There was no bandaging wrapped around its head nor was she donned in the hospital gown Princess was now wearing. She looked exactly as she had first seen her.

At the sight of her, Princess’ heart started to race. Her head started to pound. The once stable legs she stood on, now felt like jello and threatened to collapse beneath her. She leaned heavily against the door so that she would not fall.

“That’s right, Princess. Be afraid of me, be very afraid.” The reflection rolled her eyes. “God, you can be such an idiot. Have I not proven that you should not be afraid of me?”

“You’re the one that told me ta cut myself.”

Another roll of the eyes. “That was not me, you idiot!” she hissed at her. “That was you! You’re the one that said it, not me. You just wanted to place the blame on someone else. It was your sick mind that wanted to do it. I’ve done nothing but try and help you!”

Princess had been told. It was a strange feeling to be told off by her own reflection. But it still hit home none the less. It had been her that had said those things, not the reflection. How could she not come to realize those dreadful words had slipped past her lips? She had been staring at the piece of glass so intently she had not noticed.

“Now that we got that out of the way, I can tell you what I came here to say. I told you so.” The reflection flashed a wicked smile at her. “Didn’t I tell you he was just using you? He used you all up and threw you away. Now look at where you are! In a hospital all bandaged up and all alone. No one knows you’re here, so don’t even think that you’re going to get some surprise visitor. You’re all on your own now, Princess.”

Tears welled in Princess’ eyes and she bit her lower lip. The reflection rolled her eyes. “Jesus! You’re always crying! Fucking pathetic. Why don’t you grow some ball? Grow up while you’re at it. God, looking at you makes me sick.” She threw her hands up into the air. “I can’t believe we’re the same person.”

Princess shook her head in disbelief. “We’re not the same person,” she stated.
Her reflection laughed. “Of course, we are silly. I’m the part of you that you never let out. I’m your anger at the world. Your thirst for revenge.”

“I don’t want revenge.”

“Oh, yes you do, Princess. You know you do.” She ran her fingers through her hair. “How could you not? After what that man did to you. He fucked up your head and then tossed you aside like some broken toy. But you’re not broken. We’re not broken. We can still think. We can still function, can’t we?”

“Yeah,” answered Princess in an uneven tone. She really did not like where her reflection was going with this. There was no way Princess wanted revenge. What would that result in? Nothing. Nothing but pain.

“But it wouldn’t be our pain,” her reflection responded to her thoughts. Princess was taken aback and more frightened than ever. “It would be theirs. All those that ever hurt us. They would feel the same pain that we went through. The years of abuse would be avenged. Think of it, Princess! We can make them all pay! All you have to do is let your anger out. Let me out. Make me more than just a reflection in a mirror.”

When her hand reached out through the mirror, Princess slammed the bathroom door shut. This was crazy! She was crazy! It was just all in her head. She had just been talking to herself. Sleep. Sleep is what she needed. That had to be the solution. Her mind was still tired and messed up from the man slamming it against the wall. If she slept, all of it would be just a bad dream. Dreams are not real and neither was that. It was all just in her head.

Rushing to the bed, she hid herself under the covers. She closed her eyes, trying to force herself to sleep. Her attempts at forced slumber were futile. The blissful darkness just would not over take her. She even tried the whole counting sheep thing, but to no avail. She was left lying on her back, staring up at the ceiling coated in the blackness of night.

It was getting close to dawn. She was still staring up at the ceiling watching the light slowly get brighter. Strange how no one had come in to check on her. Not even a nurse had peeked trough the glass across from the bed. Looked like even in a hospital, no one cared for Princess. She figured it was because she was a charity case. They knew there would be no way for her to pay for the medical bills, so they just ignored her.

Having nothing else to do, she sat up in the bed. Might as well, she was not going to fall asleep anytime soon. She watched through the glass as nurses passed in their brightly colored scrubs their noses in clipboard. Every once in a while, she would catch a glimpse of a doctor strolling by. They’re heads were always held high, and they walked as if they were God’s gift to Earth. Princess could not help but scoff at them.
As educated as they were, doctors did not know anything. They knew nothing of real life. Only what came trough the doors of the hospital. Yes, they had seen their fare share of blood, but so had Princess. She had wallowed in her own blood. Had they ever done that? No. Not a one of them. Most probably cried when they got a simple paper cut.

None of them could survive the life she lived. They were too high in society for that. None of them would ever know what it felt like when a hard fist came into contact with their soft flesh. The light slapping noise when flesh hit flesh. Or the pain of a man forcing themselves inside of them. Nor the pain and pleasure I knife could give while slicing into the flesh. They would never know. Could never know.

So, Princess sat on the bed glaring at them. Hating them with as much hate as she could muster. Her hatred turned to all those that were privileged. Those that sat in their expensive homes, on their expensive couches, watching their expensive television with their expensive sound systems. How they drove in their expensive cars taking extra care to avoid the Narrows. They could not go to the bad part of town. Could not see how those that were not privileged lived life. Oh no, they could never do that. Never bring themselves to see what a harsh life was.

The rich were useless. They never did anything good. Sure, they had their fancy fundraisers, but for what? So the next politician could win an election. So that they could become fat and corrupt. Princess knew that those were not the only types of fundraisers they held. They held them for the poor and starving over in third world countries. But what about the ones in the city. Did they never think of them? Did they just want to pretend that they could not exist where they lived? Princess knew that they existed, knew very well. She had slept amongst them. Watched as they riffled through the nearby garbage cans.

Princess hated the rich and the money that they horded. Let them sit in their big mansions and rot. They’ll never be happy. Money did not cure everything. It may make the world go around, but it left people feeling empty inside. She hoped they felt that way. Hoped that they would wallow in self pity for the rest of their lives. Let them wallow in it. She hoped that they kill themselves. The world would be better off without them in her opinion. So much better.

Princess hoped they all burned. Them and their money.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well, that's the end. There will be more to come later on in the week. I hope that everyone is having a nice Easter if you celebrate it. Review and rate please. Just to let you all know, I'll only be updating twice a week. I don't know how many times I did before, but twice a week sounds pretty good to me. Thank you all for reading. :)