Journey

Tarot - Strength


Beautiful

Daniel wore his heart on his sleeve, John had come to realize. At least, when he was with John, he did, and had since the beginning when John came back to the city. Or maybe even before that, when chance threw them together into the whirlwind of danger and discovery that they somehow survived. He could always read Daniel's emotions from his face, from the way he moved or held himself. And most of all, from his eyes, as much as he tried to hide them behind the wire rim glasses, behind his damaged right eyelid. Blue, like the sea, and just as changeable.

He lifted Daniel's face from his shoulder to look into them, fingers stroking the damaged right side of his face gently, and Daniel's eyes held wonder, and that other emotion that they so often held when he looked at him, that John hadn't ever been able to place before now. Need. Love.

"You're beautiful," he whispered, and Daniel looked away immediately, pulling from John's touch, but not before he saw fear, and a little hurt.

"Don't," Daniel murmured, and wet his lips. "You are... you are very kind, love, but don't lie for my sake, please. I can't bear it."

"Daniel...."

"Please," the doctor's voice wavered, and John moved to silence him with his mouth, pulling him tightly against him, kissing him hard, again and again, trying to calm his trembling.

"It's not a lie," he hissed, and Daniel shook his head, trying to pull away.

"I'm not the man from your memories, John. You don't know - you haven't seen...."

"I feel." John cut him off, holding him fast. "What I haven't seen doesn't matter. I know you. I love you."

Daniel clung to him, burying his face in his shoulder, and John pressed his lips to his hair, stroking it gently, stroking his back, his body tense under his touch. "John... forgive me. I... I am afraid, even now."

"I won't hurt you," John murmured, and Daniel gave a soft, trembling sigh in reply.

"I know. I... should trust. What is love, without trust?" the softest, sad laugh. "But I can't help but think that you deserve so much better than me."

John sighed softly against his hair. "Let me show you, then," he said, still stroking, down his hair, down his back, trying to comfort him. "Give you a basis for trust. I need you. No one else, just you. You... complete me. Let me show you how beautiful that is to me."

Daniel lifted his head, searching his eyes with blue ones full of turbulence, uncertainty. Vulnerable. Finally finding the courage to answer, his voice soft. "Please...."

John nodded slowly, pulling away, finding one of Daniel's hands with his, leading him wordlessly to what he knew was Daniel's bedroom. It was neat as a pin. He turned back the covers on the large, comfortable looking bed, and sat, patting the mattress beside him with an encouraging smile, finding it as comfortable as it looked.

Daniel settled beside him, reaching to embrace him, to accept his kisses without hesitation, without question. Slowly relaxing into them, under John's touch as he stroked his hands slowly, gently over his chest. He deftly slipped the buttons of his vest undone, one by one, and was met with no protest as he slipped it off his shoulders, setting it aside. Stroking his chest through his neat white shirt, slowly doing the same with its buttons, letting one hand slip inside.

"John..." the doctor tried to protest, and he silenced it with another gentle kiss.

"Shhh, love... trust me." Daniel's skin was soft, delicate feeling. Fragile. And uneven, covered with what he was sure must be patches of scar tissue. He let his fingers smooth over them, slowly, gently mapping them by touch, and he could feel Daniel shivering against him. "Are you ok, love?"

The doctor's breath hitched as John's fingertips brushed a nipple, stopping to tease it gently. "It... feels good..." he managed to reply, softly.


“Good.” John smiled, nuzzling his cheek, dropping soft kisses just behind his ear, down his neck, slowly. He felt Daniel's fingers slip into his hair, tangling in his dark curls, and Daniel tilted his head back just a little to allow him better access. Kissing slowly down his neck, nosing the collar of his shirt out of the way to suck gently at the crook, smiling as the hand in his hair tightened a little, hearing his love give a soft whimper.

He stroked his hand up Daniel’s arm, warm and gentle, ever so slowly easing his shirt back as he kissed across his shoulder. His other hand continued it's slow exploration, and while he wasn't entirely sure he was doing things right, Daniel certainly seemed to like it, his breath growing more laboured, fingers clenching and unclenching in John's hair.

Daniel gave a soft whimper of protest when he tugged his shirt off one arm, but John smoothed it away, moving to kiss the hollow of his throat, gently coaxing his other arm from the fabric and setting it aside. He lifted his mouth to kiss him, slow and warm, voice soft. "Will you lay down for me, love?" He moved back to stretch out on the bed, holding out a hand to him.

His lover hesitated, arms wrapping around himself self-consciously, but unable to hide the myriad of thin white scars that latticed over his chest, shoulders and upper arms, even on top of what looked like burn scarring, shiny and mottled on his right side. Then he moved suddenly, curling into him, trembling, hiding his face in John’s hair. “I'm sorry....”


John dropped soft kisses to his hair, wrapping his arms around him. “Do they still hurt you?”

Daniel hesitated, then shook his head slightly. “Not physically. I’m sorry, John... you shouldn’t have to see this... weakness.”


He tightened his arms around him, speaking softly, fingers stroking over his back, over more scars. "I can take them from you, if you want me to. But... all I see, love, is strength. Everything you've overcome, everything you fought, and won...." He urged Daniel gently onto his back, laying half over him protectively, claiming his mouth, warm and gentle, trying to reassure him with his presence, protect him. Unexpectedly, Daniel responded with more than a little passion, arms slipping around him to pull him closer.

"Show me," the blonde whispered softly. "Please, John...."

John dropped his lips to his chest without hesitation, tracing the lines slowly with his lips - old cuts, he assumed, remembering the Stranger's blades, feeling a sudden burst of anger at the thought of them carving Daniel up like this. He ran the tip of his tongue down one, ever so lightly, and was rewarded with a soft gasp, with Daniel arching up to him a little. Encouraging. It was easy to loose himself in it, in the taste of his skin, the feel of it under his fingers, and Daniel's reactions, soft whimpers, body squirming just a little under him. More than a little arousing to him. He let himself suck gently on one nipple, swirling his tongue around the battered little nub of tissue, and was rewarded with a soft cry, Daniel's hips arching up against his.

Ahh... he was definitely liking it.

John felt an unexpected surge of desire at the realization, and he shifted a little to let his hips rest more against Daniel's, pressing a little more firmly against his erection to allow the doctor more sensation. And then he let himself rock slowly against him with a low groan of pleasure, nipping ever so gently at his nipple.

"John....!" Daniel's hands found his shoulders, restless, clenching in the fabric of his shirt, grinding his hips up against him with a little helpless whimper. John kissed across his chest to find his other nipple, teasing and torturing with his mouth, breath coming heavy at the pleasure of it all. Letting his hips fall into a slow rhythm with Daniel's, stroking his waist, his hip restlessly, then slipping a hand between them to cup his groin, palming his erection, drawing a sharp breath at Daniel's whimpering cry of pleasure.

It was almost intoxicating.

He abandoned Daniel's chest, kissing a swift path down his stomach, fingers fumbling with the button on Daniel's slacks, yanking them open, wriggling his slacks and undergarments down over his hips. Nuzzling his erection, eyes half closing, then taking his head in his mouth.

Daniel's fingers tightened painfully on his shoulders, and John heard him gasp a soft expletive, but most of his attention was on the task undertaken, trying not to loose himself entirely in the sensation, trying to remember what felt best and how to reproduce it. He moved his mouth on him slowly, seeing how much of his erection that he could take without gagging, then pulled back with a soft pop, flicking his tongue against the head of his cock. Slightly musky, slightly salty, and somehow not at all unpleasant, somehow arousing him more, and he took him in his mouth again, curling a hand around the base of his cock to stroke what he couldn't take. Working his tongue against the sensitive skin, eyes closed to concentrate, giving a low, appreciative groan around him.

He didn't realize that Daniel was gasping his name until he felts a sharp tug at his hair, and sat up, quickly bringing his attention back to his lover. "You ok, love?"

Daniel clenched a hand in the front of his shirt, holding him in place, closing his eyes and drawing a few deep breaths before responding. "One," he started, voice surprisingly husky, "You're wearing entirely too much clothing. Please get rid of it. Two..." Uncertain hesitation, then decision. "I need you inside me."

John drew a sharp hiss at the surge of desire his words evoked, fingers deftly popping open the buttons on his shirt. "I don't want to hurt you...."

Daniel shook his head, sitting up to help him, tugging John's pants undone. He slipped a hand inside to stroke him, catching his mouth hungrily. "You won't," he murmured, helping John wriggle out of his pants. "Just go slow. And... it would be appreciated if you could Tune us some lubricant."

John nodded, doing so absently as he tugged Daniel's clothes the rest of the way off, the tube dropping lightly to the pillow. Daniel claimed it, setting his glasses aside on the bedside table before popping the cap off, squeezing a liberal amount on his fingertips, which found John's erection, stroking him, wet and slick. His hips jerked up into Daniel's touch despite himself, and he drew a sharp breath, fighting to keep his mind in charge of his body. "Love... I haven't done this before...."

Daniel leaned in to kiss him hungrily, then let him go, laying back. "It's not much different," he replied, voice husky, needy, holding out his hands to urge John over him, pulling his knees up against John's sides. "Please...."

John let his forehead rest on Daniel's, one forearm pressed above Daniel's head to the pillows to support his weight. He let himself focus on those blue eyes, which had lost every emotion but the most desperate kind of need and desire, and somehow he managed to figure out what he was doing, and took him, slowly, carefully starting to press inside him.

It was different. Very different. So tight, so hot, and so goddamn good, and his hips bucked hard, deeper before he could stop himself, crying out his pleasure against Daniel's mouth. "Oh god, Daniel - !"

His lover's hands clutched at his back almost painfully, but even that felt good, and Daniel's hips rocked up against him, moving with him, gasping for breath. "Please don't stop....!"

He couldn't imagine stopping, his free arm slipping under Daniel's hips, pulling them higher for a better angle, rocking deeper, trying to keep control of himself but quickly failing. Bucking into him harder, faster at Daniel's encouraging gasps of pleasure. Hips snapping into him, thrusting deep, and he buried his face in Daniel's neck, gasping for breath, lost to the hard shocks of pleasure that coursed through him, quickly building, overwhelming. Daniel's body, tight and quivering under him, rocked with him, arching up to him to meet his desperate rhythm, arms wrapped tight around John's upper body, as if he couldn't manage to get close enough to him. And suddenly his body jerked tense, bucking up against him with breathless, throaty cries of pleasure. "God, John! Yes - !"

He closed his eyes tight, trying to keep his movements exact, just as hard, just as deep, drunk on Daniel's cries and the tight heat of his body, drunk on his own pleasure and the knowledge of equal pleasure received. And suddenly, Daniel's nails bit into his back, and he could feel his lover's climax, feel his body tighten and shudder around him, Daniel crying out helplessly. It was all too much, too much pleasure, too much sensation, and he came, a bright burst of oblivion that completely overwhelmed him, eclipsing everything but the pleasure and heat and sensation.

When his other senses started functioning again, he became aware of Daniel clinging to him, breath coming in choked sobs, and he lifted his face to press his lips to his cheeks, feeling moisture, tasting salt. "Daniel?"

"I believe you," Daniel gasped, catching his mouth for a trembling kiss. "Oh god, John - ! I do, I believe you."

John smiled, and silenced him with another kiss, long and gentle and possessive, holding him close. "Thank you," he breathed softly, mind not quite processing the series of events that had brought them to this place, but knowing that somehow, he'd accomplished his aims in the best way possible. "Thank you, love... thank you, Daniel."