Bordon's Girl

CHAPTER 12 Good News And Hidden Feelings

William awoke an hour later. He was disappointed that Tess wasn’t still with him. He’d made up his mind to wake her up by making love to her once again. He sat up in his bed and chuckled to himself, rolling his eyes that she’d spoiled his surprise.

He got out of bed and washed up. Tavington slipped into his uniform and left his room. As he locked up, he turned to head toward Miss Bordon’s room. He was going to ask her to breakfast, then ask her if she’d like to go to Fort Carolina afterwards so that he could check on the status of his Major.

A voice stopped him from his journey to the Bordon suite. “Good morning, Colonel,” said Lieutenant Scott as he rounded the stair landing.

“Good Morning, Scott,” he replied.

“Sir, a company of infantry are marching out this morning. Their commander wants to talk to you about the area they’re going to. Wants to know the terrain, etc.”

“Now?” William asked, “or can I eat breakfast first?”

“His men were still getting ready. You’ve probably got time for a bite.”

“Alright then. Tell him I’ll be there shortly. I’m going to eat first. I’ll make it quick.”

“Yes, sir,” the Lieutenant complied. He trotted down back down the stairs with his commander not far behind. William abandoned his plan for breakfast with Miss Bordon. Maybe he could catch up to her after meeting with the command of the Infantry.

* * * * * *

It was now mid morning as Tess was readying to leave for the Fort. She had awoken late at 8:00am, after sleeping in her own bed for three hours or so. As she moved about, her hips, legs and pelvis were sore from her virtue losing romp with Colonel Tavington.

She’d had breakfast not too long ago and was secretly disappointed when Tavington’s face was not amongst those at the table. She ate quickly and excused herself back to her room to finish a few things.

There was a knock at the door. Her heart jumped and she raced to the door, hoping to see William standing there. She opened it, and immediately had to hide her dejection, for it was not the Colonel. She was puzzled to see General Charles O’Hara standing at her door. His eyes sparkled and he smiled warmly at her.

“Good Morning, General,” she said, and curtsied.

“Good day, Miss Bordon,” he replied with a bow of respect. Before she could ask why he was there, he spoke. “I’m here to give you the good news.”

“Good news,” she asked. Tess was bewildered.

“Yes,” O’Hara answered. “I’m happy to report that your brother was cleared of all treason charges just this morning. He will be released after debriefing and should return in the next day or so.”

An expression of true joy and relief crossed her face and her eyes misted over. The General took her hand and held it in a gentlemanly fashion when he saw that she was overcome with emotion. He offered his handkerchief to dry her tears. She graciously took it.

From there, O’Hara went on to recount what had happened. Captain Wilkins, desperate to try and help Major Bordon, a commander he liked, and acting under orders, had gone into Devington in search of anything to help the doomed officer. In the village, he located Miss Louden’s family, who knew nothing of her affair with a British officer.

Miss Louden’s older married sister happened to be visiting the farm at the time. She knew of Susannah’s love for Geoffrey Bordon as she had confided this to the sister. When told what was on the horizon for Bordon, the sister wanted to help anyway she could. She knew that her sister would have wanted Bordon free because she had loved him so much. The older Louden sister quickly went to the room of her dead sister and found all the letters that Bordon had written to her. She kept them hidden from her parents.

Then, she asked Captain Wilkins to ride to her village, not far away, where she lived with her husband and young children. Once there, she retrieved all the letters that her sister had written to her that poured out the details of her affair with Bordon. The sister only asked that all the correspondence be returned to her after the Inquest, so that she may have something of her sister’s now that she had passed on. The married sister had told Wilkins that he might be able to find something within the letters that may help.

Once back at the Fort, the Inquest committee, with the help of Wilkins, poured over the mass of correspondence. There was a huge bundle of letters from Bordon to Susannah, from Susannah back to him, and then from Susannah in confidence to her sister.

All the letters corroborated each other and all repeated the same things. Bordon had stated in his letters to his lover that he loved her and would never betray his own country, but that they could still find a way to be together, even though they were “enemies.” Her letters to him, commandeered the day after his arrest from Bordon’s room in front of his sister, Tess, conveyed that Susannah understood and would never put him in a bad position. She even begged him never to tell her anything, at least for her own safety, thinking ignorance would be good.

Miss Louden’s letters to her sister confirmed all this: that Bordon would never betray his country and would not tell her anything, and that the two had agreed never to talk of the war. She’d also poured out her innermost feelings of love for him and the fact that she carried his child and was going to marry him.

As the committee read through these most personal and intimate writings, it was plain to all of them that no treason was committed; that this was no more than two people deeply in love with each other. Thus, given the letters, character reports from officers and superiors, Bordon’s own testimony, his clean military record and history, and inquiries and intelligence into the woman’s background, Major Bordon was exonerated . He was a free man.

Miss Bordon could hardly contain her joy. She was grateful to everyone who had helped her brother. Tess remembered Tavington telling her when he came in the previous evening that he was going to head to the Fort first thing this morning to offer more help for her brother.

“My! Colonel Tavington does have a lot of influence, doesn’t he?” she commented. “He makes his case for my brother first thing in the morning, and he is freed by lunch!”

General O’Hara looked confused. “I’m sure I don’ t know what you mean.”

“The Colonel’s pleading this morning,” she confirmed. “Well, I know it wasn’t all his doing by what you have said about the correspondence and all. But, he went to the Fort this morning with additional help for my brother. It makes me believe that whatever the Colonel came up with this morning was the extra convincing that the committee needed to reach the verdict.” She beamed at the General, who looked completely lost.

“I’m sorry. You must be mistaken, Miss,” he began, his voice slow and cautious. “Colonel Tavington pled his case for Major Bordon on the very day he was incarcerated. He made such a good and strong case for his Major’s innocence and moral character that he didn’t need to plead it out a second time. He wrote essentially the same thing in his written report on the matter. It was so strong and clear that the committee didn’t even need to question him.”

“He wasn’t there this morning?” Tess joined in the confusion.

“No. As a matter of fact, no one was. It was just the Inquest committee,” confirmed O’Hara.

There was an awkward silence. O’Hara broke it with well wishes. “Well, congratulations, again! I’m sure you are looking forward to having the Major back home. We’ll do our best to get him home quickly!”

“Thank you!” she replied, forcing a smile, trying to look happy amidst her confusion.

He left her standing at the door to her room. After another moment in confusion, the bewilderment cleared and anger burned within her. She became livid as she knew William had lied to her. He had no intentions of helping her brother. She just figured it all out, even though signs of it had been in front of her face for two months.

Tess went to Tavington to ask for help and make a deal with him a couple of days after Geoffrey was arrested. So, unbeknownst to her at the time, he’d already made his strong report and was told he probably would not have to return a second time. He took her up on her deal in a moment of her weakness and desperation, knowing he’d already done his part, but telling her he could probably “use his influence” to do more for him. He’d used her body shamelessly.

Then, even after he had told her that he was calling off their bargain, he played her along, refusing to bed her, making her want him that much more. And he lied to her again last night before they would make love, stating that he would go to the Fort first thing in the morning to see what he could do. So now, he’d achieved getting her into his bed—all on a lie. Tavington was of no more help to her brother than he was the first day, and that was all that was needed. Tess had been a complete fool.

Emotions swirled in her head, heart and soul. She felt foolish and humiliated. She knew the Colonel must be laughing at her stupidity. She knew he had delighted in her body and sexual favors. Now the girl also felt dirty, feeling as if she had been nothing more than his personal whore. But mostly, she felt pain in her heart for she had grown very fond of him and would maybe like to be courted properly by him. She was hurt and shattered by the realization of it all. The hurt manifested in anger, as well.

Tessa Bordon stood and fumed for a moment, not knowing what to do and not thinking straight. A minute later, she closed the door to her room and turned on her heel. She went downstairs and out of the house. She inquired of a dragoon that was on the porch where his Colonel was. He pointed to a tent to the right of the woodshed. Tess charged across the way to the tent, seeing red the whole time.

Inside the tent, Tavington was meeting with yet another infantry commander, his second this morning, this one coming in from a march. They were conferring on an area where the Dragoons had not yet been. William was making notes and updating his maps. His day had been nonstop like this so far. He had been so busy meeting with people and putting out all the little fires that arose that he had been completely sidetracked. He hadn’t even gone to the fort yet to check on Major Bordon’s dilemma.

The Colonel was deep in conversation and concentration over the matters at hand with the returning infantry that he didn’t hear the ruckus outside the tent. He thought he heard shouting or a raised voice or two, but only made an odd face, dismissed it with a wave, and went right back to talking with the infantry Captain.

“You can’t, Miss,” the Redcoat sentry said, “He’s in a meeting.”

“Where is he? I want to see Colonel Tavington, NOW!” Tess insisted.

As one of the sentries kept her at bay just outside the tent door, the other went in and politely interrupted.

“Begging your pardon, sir,” he said to Tavington, “but a Miss Bordon would like to speak with you right away. She insists.”

Good, he thought. It would be great timing to help get him out of this conference. It would also be perfect for him to ask to escort her to Fort Carolina to check on her brother. He was also just looking forward to seeing her, having missed her at breakfast.

“Thank you. Please show her in,” said William. He then turned back to his maps and the other commander.

As the tent flap was opened, Tess stalked into the tent quickly with purpose. She saw William and the sight of him made her blood boil. She charged at him.

William had noticed nothing until it was too late. He had turned his head slightly to look at a detail on the map when he caught sight of a person barreling down on him.

Instantly, Tess mowed the Colonel over, her forward momentum knocking both him and her to the ground. She had landed on top of him and was slapping at him, her arms hitting him with strength. Her eyes bore a crazed expression.

“You lied to me! You did nothing more!” She kept on slapping him. He was completely surprised, having no idea what had set her off. He had been so startled that he couldn’t even throw her small body off his.

“You have no influence whatsoever! You’re selfish! Liar! Liar! LIAR!!!!” She continued to slap away at him, with him throwing his arms up, shielding himself as best as he could from her blows.

The officers in the tent and the ones that had heard and entered from the outside were so stunned to see a girl beating up their Colonel. And it was Bordon’s girl, nonetheless! This was a shy, timid girl, only speaking when spoken to, and sheltered by an overprotective brother, holding the Colonel down and hitting him. The men were so incredulous that they just stood there, not knowing what to do.

Finally, William was able to grab her wrists and stop the blows. Tess was still trying to hit him, even as he held her wrists.

“Someone get her off of me!” Tavington ordered while still flat on his back. A couple of the men pulled her off of him and gently restrained her, for she was still trying to get at William. Two others helped the stunned Colonel to his feet.

“What do you want us to do with her, Colonel?”

“Take her outside and bind her wrists,” he said in an irritated tone as he brushed himself off.

The sentries herded her outside the tent. Colonel Tavington picked up a toppled chair and apologized to the infantry Captain.

“I’m quite sorry. I am not sure what has possessed her. She is the sister of my Second in Command, who’s currently on trial for possible treason. Uh, she’s been under a lot of strain of late. If you would grant me some time to deal with this situation, I’ll be happy to meet with you later to discuss any details we have missed.”

The Captain was fine with that and gave Tavington his leave. Once outside, William was confronted with a furious Tess, her wrists now bound together. She had also been gagged. Tavington stroked his chin, sighed and shook his head. He obviously needed to find out what the urgent problem was and why she was so upset at him.

“Bring my horse, please,” he ordered.

“One for the lady, as well,” a soldier asked.

“No. She will ride with me,” Tavington stated.

Tess, silent, bound and gagged, alternated between staring at William and looking at the ground. She was humiliated to have been restrained this way in front of these men, so she looked down. The humiliation coupled with the anger she already felt toward Tavington, just made the rage inside her even worse. Whenever she looked at William, her eyes killed him with tiny daggers.

Within a moment, a private arrived with Colonel Tavington’s horse. He mounted first. Then, a helpless Miss Bordon was lifted up to him. He placed her in front of him on the beast, where he could keep a hold on her.

From his horse, he looked down at his men and left his orders. His tone implied that he was annoyed. Indeed he was. His morning had been exasperating so far.

“Men, Captain Wentworth is in charge until I return. I’ll be back as soon as I teach this one some manners and discipline.”

With that, Colonel Tavington quickly rode off on his horse, and had an iron grip on Miss Bordon, his prisoner for the time being.

After a few moments of the silent ride, Tavington directed his horse to a secluded spot in a small patch of woods. He dismounted and quickly tied his horse to a tree. Then, he reached up to Tess, pulled her down from the creature and slid her over his shoulder.

Tess’ arms hung down the length of William’s back and were still bound at the wrists. Her hands, although tied tightly and close together, grabbed a fist full each of his jacket and held it fast. It had always scared her to be carried like this because she was afraid of being dropped over the man’s back face first into the ground.

From her upside down view behind the Colonel, Tess soon saw the narrow path widen into a small clearing. He stopped and put her down gently on her feet. He held her arm the whole time, then helped her to a seat on a large, old tree stump.

She glared at him as he reached behind her to untie the gag. William had prepared himself during the ride, and was reaffirming that now, knowing she was going to strike into him for some reason. He was mildly irritated now at her, as well.

“Untie me,” said Tess.

“I don’t think so,” he said, shaking his head.

“Colonel, please,” she urged, rage still in her tone.

“Are you going to use your hands to slap my face again,” Will asked sarcastically.

“Yes! I should hit you even harder.”

William scowled at her and drew his lips together tightly, trying to contain the start of his own anger. There was a thick silence between them for a minute.

He stood back from his hostage and stared down at her. “Well?” he asked of her.

She shot a hostile look back at him, not sure she even wanted to speak to him now.

“Well, what?”, she shot back.

Will rolled his eyes and prepared for the worst. He predicted this might be a losing battle.

“Well, SPEAK!”

“I don’t think I want to, now.” She looked away from him stubbornly.

He let out an exasperated sigh. “You seemed to have a lot to say that just could not wait back in the tent!”

“Yes, until I was silenced,” she remarked, her eyes burning with anger. “As if you haven’t done enough, you humiliated me even more when you had me bound and gagged in front of your men. And your little remark to all of them about ‘teaching me some discipline.’” She choked on the last few words and looked away, holding back the beginning of tears. She refused to cry now in front of him.

“Humiliated!” he exclaimed. “Christ! It couldn’t have been any worse than what you had done to me right before that. My men watched me, their commander, get knocked over and beaten up by a woman…..And I couldn’t do a damn thing about it!”

“Oh, you couldn’t hit a lady back because you’re such a gentleman,” she retorted sarcastically.

“What was all of that about?” Tavington asked.

“About my father.”

“What?” William was puzzled. “Your father?”

“Yes,” she answered. “General O’Hara came to the house this morning to tell me that Geoffrey was found innocent and will be released soon.”

Tavington’s face lit up with a grin. He was very pleased to hear that his second in command was not a traitor.

“Oh, Tess, that is great!” But she was not smiling back.

“Yes, it was, until something I found out spoiled the mood,” she said, looking at him accusingly.

William took a step backwards and crossed his arms in front of himself. “Spoiled?” he asked.

“Yes. I assumed it had been your influence and help on top of other things that had freed him. For the last two months, I have been giving you my body nearly every day in exchange for your help. I thought you had been over there nearly every day working on his behalf. I found out that you were over there once in regards to this, and that was the day he was arrested, when we were all there. Apparently, your word and report was so strong, that you didn’t need to go back to testify or whatever. I came to you after you had done that, and you said you’d help him, which was a lie. All you did was help yourself to my virginity and exploit my desperation to your advantage.”

Tavington’s eyes narrowed. “Don’t you have that backwards,” he shot back harshly. “You came to me with such a blatant and obvious offer. I may have used you, but you were using me, as well! Your intentions to entice me with your body to help your brother exploited the situation to your advantage as well, Miss Bordon. You are the same as any other woman: you hold sex in one hand and our manhood in the other and know you can get a man to do anything for you! You never pushed me away and I know that you enjoyed it!”

“You made me into your whore!” She screamed.

“No, I didn’t!” Will shouted back.

“Yes you did!,” she insisted. Then she began to cry.

William turned away from her and took a couple of steps. He stretched his arms and thought. He honestly did not think she was a tramp, nor that he had made her into one.

He walked back toward her. He hated to see her cry, so he reached his hand toward her as a gesture of comfort. She refused it and turned her head.

“Tess, you are not a whore just because you made a deal with someone and held up the bargain,” he said, trying to calm her.

“I hate feeling like this. Selling my bodily integrity down the river in exchange for Geoffrey’s freedom is nothing more than being a whore.”

This statement helped William understand things a little better now. Not only was she genuinely mad at him for lying to her, which he did, but, she was mad at herself as well, taking it out on him. He wanted to try to get her to a place of understanding what they both had done. He hoped this would dissolve some of her anger for both him and herself.

“We are all, in a sense, whores to something in this life,” began William. “You sold your virtue for your brother’s freedom. I am no better. I am a whore for the Generals and their cause every day. I prostitute myself for my King and Country to win this war.”

He saw that he had her attention. “We all do things we don’t necessarily like or want to do in exchange for something. That is life and that is part of being an adult.”

William continued. “Look, I admit that I lied to you about my degree of help given and how often. But, I have also told you that I should have been a gentleman and not taken you up on your offer. I regret exploiting your desperation and taking advantage of the deal. But, there are things that you don’t know about. There are other reasons why I was so underhanded. Reasons other than the obvious of sex.”

“Why don’t you enlighten me, Colonel,” she remarked haughtily.

Tavington turned away from her, suddenly feeling fear and vulnerability. The last part of his admission to her had just slipped out; he did not mean to disclose that much to her.

“Well?” she asked, demanding to know his reasoning.

William turned back to her. He desperately wanted her to understand that he was not a monster. He wanted her to understand why he had done what he did. He cared for her and didn’t want her to be upset with him.

He began slowly, his eyes cast down in humility. “I don’t deny that I used you in the beginning for my carnal satisfaction just because the opportunity presented itself. And, that I could use the opportunity to my benefit and draw it out for as long as possible. I cared nothing about how that looked then, but I am deeply ashamed of my initial thoughts and actions toward it now.”

He studied her face carefully. William was humbling himself before her, something he didn’t do often for anyone. But, he could tell that she didn’t believe him. He did not want her to be mad at him, especially after the intimacy they had shared last night. He truly cared about her.

“Everything I did in the beginning was wrong, and for inappropriate reasons,” he said in a low and sincere voice.

“Yes, but you kept on,” Tess said.

“Yes, you are right. I did,” he admitted. “But, long before I ended our deal, I had been doing the wrong things for the right reason.”

“Which was?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Well…..I kept on with the deal and drawing things out because I enjoyed your company. I took advantage of things as a way to keep on spending time with you.”

Tess looked bewildered and crinkled her nose at him.

Tavington continued. “You see, I knew that once Geoffrey returned, that our time together would be over. I knew he’d never allow you to see me.”

He watched her face again. She still seemed as if she didn’t understand, or maybe that she didn’t believe him.

A look of pain and torture crossed the Colonel’s face. He sighed and shook his head. He was frustrated as if he couldn’t find the right words to put his excuses into.

“I drew the situation out for as long as possible because of how I felt, and still feel,” William stammered. He turned away from her. He closed his eyes and sighed again.

“I…am…in…love…with…you,” he admitted slowly, painfully, and cautiously. “And, I know that I haven’t got a chance in the world with you when Geoffrey returns.”

“I didn’t want to fall in love,” Will confessed. He turned back to find her looking at him, her eyes widened in disbelief. “I can’t help the way I feel. And, things are even worse now because of the realization that I am going to lose you soon. Sooner than I had wanted. I was just getting to know you. Now, I feel like I have to give up something that I maybe, never really had in the first place.”

Tess was stunned. She couldn’t believe what she had just heard. He was in love with her!

Her mind was caught in a whirlwind. She was relieved to know that he had feelings for her, for she felt affection and fondness for him. But, she was afraid as well. She had never been in love with a man and was not even sure how to deal with romance. Tess had no idea what to expect of this, and, for this reason, she suddenly became very frightened.

There was an awful silence between them for a moment or two. Then, Tess spoke up. “Please untie me,” she requested in a weary voice.

William drew his dagger from his boot scabbard and turned it blade up. Tess then pulled her bound wrists down on either side of the weapon, cutting the rope. As it fell to the ground, she rubbed her wrists for a moment. Then, she rose to her feet.

“I want to go back to the house now,” she said simply.

“Alright,” he replied quietly. He could only hope she understood.

Tess began to walk out of the clearing. Will spoke up immediately.

“Wait a minute! We can ride back together on my horse,” he offered.

“No. I want to walk,” she answered in a monotone voice.

“Okay. We can walk,” he conceded.

“No. I prefer to walk it alone.”

“Nonsense,” he exclaimed. “There could be rebels hiding out there. I can’t allow it.”

“I can take care of myself. I’ve had to since Geoffrey’s been gone.”

“I insist,” he said. He was concerned for her as a man in love with her, and a Colonel who’s duty it was to protect.

“No, Colonel,” she said firmly. “I do not want your company.” Her face conveyed that she was very serious about what she’d just said.

William opened his mouth to say something, but closed it when nothing came out. The words weren’t there as his mind went numb.

He watched her, frozen to his spot, as she turned and walked away. He had just laid his feelings out before this woman, exposing his very soul. She did not return his love, and he was crushed.

When he could no longer see her, he went to the stump and sat down in a numb stupor. He looked down at the ground. Only moments ago, he had been so full of hope to win her over and understand his thinking. Now, he sat alone, feeling defeated.

* * * * * *

Tess slowed her pace a little bit. She had been so overwrought when she left that she walked fast, Hell bent to get away from there. Finally, she came to a complete stop when she realized she was panting. It wasn’t just the pace that winded her, but the raw emotion pounding against her heart.

She stood still for a moment to catch her breath. When she finally relaxed, her emotions tumbled about within her, making her feel as if her life had spun out of control for that moment.

There was confusion. She was bewildered by the Colonel’s conflicting actions. He was known to be brutal to the enemy. He had not been a gentleman and used her for lewd purposes, then refused to take her virginity when she offered it. When he eventually took it, he was not rough, but tender and gentle. He could be so straightlaced and duty oriented, then become playful with her. He had lied to her. He told her she was beautiful. He took advantage of her situation just to be close to her. He loved her. It was a mass—or maybe more of a mess—of contradictions.

She thought about her brother. She was so very happy that he was free. She missed him. Now it hit her that things would change. The Colonel’s words echoed through her head. He had said that Geoffrey would never allow her to see him. So, this made her realize that she may not be allowed to see the Colonel, or anyone for that matter.

William had just reminded her of how things were before Geoffrey’s arrest. She recalled how timid she had been, afraid to speak up or go against her beloved brother, scared to anger him. He was the master of the house. Tess had now had a small taste of adulthood and her own freedom to do and choose as she pleased. She didn’t want to give that up. So, in a way, she was worried about Geoffrey’s homecoming.

Then, Tess recognized something within herself. Something that she had already admitted to, but would brush off trying not to be too hard on herself. She realized that her anger had blinded her just moments ago. She regretted charging after the Colonel and making a scene. She’d been hard on him, even after he had apologized and admitted his wrongdoing.

Suddenly, something that he had said during the course of their argument hit her square in the face. She had been so enraged that the full force of his accusation hadn’t been understood at the time. Now, it reared its ugly head. She was just as much to blame for what had gone on between them. If anything, even more so than he was for a few reasons.

First, she had gone to him with the offer. Geoffrey would have preferred a guilty sentence then to have his own daughter give up something that precious for him.

Secondly, she never refused the Colonel’s advances, when she could have called the deal off at any time. In fact, she had boldly made some of the first moves herself.

Third, she used the Colonel shamelessly to win freedom for her brother. She continually goaded Tavington on by giving up her body and submitting to his whims, in order to keep him motivated enough to help out.

Lastly, and what she despised herself for, was that she had enjoyed every moment of attention from this handsome officer. She relished all the feelings he stirred in her that she never knew she had like lust, anticipation, and passion.

Tess luxuriated especially in the physical feelings of his body against her, his arms about her, his hands, lips, and mouth on her body. She was delighted that she had learned about and experienced the various acts of sex and romance. And, she loved the feeling of orgasm and sexual gratification he gave her. She found it most despicable within herself that she enjoyed being pleased by him. If she were proper, she would feel that there should be no joy in it, that she was only doing her womanly duty. Instead, she was a wanton.

All this had made her into a common trollop within her own eyes. She was no better than the Colonel and his manipulation. At least he could admit his wrong and have a selfish, yet poignant reason why he did what he did. With her, she wanted to put the blame off on William. It was her fault. She had made herself into a whore.

Finally, when she could stand not one more minute of self reproach, she turned and headed back toward where she and Will had argued. Tess would apologize to him. But, she had no intentions of resuming anything with him. This was a good opportunity to end things cleanly. Besides, she thought it best not to have any other distraction in her life when Geoffrey returned so that she could help him get used to freedom, to re adjust to normal life, and to help him get over the loss of his fiancée and unborn child.

As she got closer to where he was, she stopped and watched him quietly for a moment. He did not act like the same person. He was always so proud and had the air of command about him. Now, he sat with his head down, eyes cast down to the ground, and looked completely helpless. Will raised his head and stared blankly out to his side and exhaled. Then, she watched as he folded himself over and put his head in his hands.

Just a minute earlier, Tessa had sorted through the emotions and knew exactly what she wanted. Her clear objective was to apologize, quickly resolve things, and end on a friendly basis. Now, watching the Colonel pained her and stirred up her feelings again.

Tess was responsible for the once proud Colonel now acting like a lost little boy. She had hurt him. She had crushed him with her attack. She had wounded him with her accusations and words. Tess had shattered him when she refused to even acknowledge or say anything back to him after he had just confessed his deepest feelings for her. She had injured the man deeply and knew it was her fault.

The fact that she had caused him pain and anguish was more than she could bear. The more she looked at the Colonel’s sad shape, the more it tormented her. To see how much she had hurt him caused distress in her own heart and soul.

Then, she figured something out. If she didn’t care deeply for William, she wouldn’t have this agony she felt over hurting him. She recalled how lately, she had longed to see him, and missed him when he was away. She’d felt affection and fondness for him. Tess had taken care of him the days after his fall from his horse. She had pined for his kiss and his touch. She had made the decision to give her virtue to him. She trusted him enough to let him guide her into sexual experience. She had genuinely liked him enough to want to be ‘courted properly’ by him. Most of all, as she looked at him now, she wanted nothing more than to be by his side, comfort him through the hurt she had brought about, and make amends with him.

Tess padded quietly back into the clearing where a forlorn William Tavington sat. He knew she was back and standing before him. He was too dejected and humiliated to look up at her. She needed confirmation from him. She needed to see the truth in his eyes and face, and hear it in his words as well.

Gently, she cupped his chin in her hand and raised his head up to look her in the face. “Look me in the eyes and tell me exactly how you feel about me and what you want of me,” Tess stated calmly. “Tell me the truth, and do not toy with me.”

William stood up and looked down at Tess. “I lay my soul bare for you now, which I don’t do very often. It’s quite hard for me to do because it leaves me vulnerable.”

“But you are a fearless warrior,” she encouraged with a sparkle in her beautiful eyes.

“Yes, but I don’t feel that way now,” he admitted. “I feel quite helpless.”

“It’s alright, Will,” she coaxed gently. “Just say it.”

William looked deep into her eyes. She had notice that his eyes were so very blue as he spoke. “I do love you, Tess. I didn’t intend for it to happen. I even fought against it. But one can’t win the battle against love—it is too strong.”

Tess was curious, having never experienced love before. She asked him a question. “Why did you fight against it?”

“A number of reasons, really,” he answered. “Well, because you are so young and innocent, and because you are Bordon’s sister.”

She gave him a puzzled look. Tavington then elaborated. “Your brother has made it well known that we best not look at, think about, or touch you. He has also made it known that he has high ambitions and plans for you. He does not want you to have a life with a soldier. He wants more for you than that. So I knew I had to fight falling for you.”

He took both of her hands. She did not resist. He lifted them to his mouth and kissed them both of his hands reached out and touched her cheek.

“I don’t know why I fell for you, it just happened. We can’t always control when we fall in love or who it is with.” He stroked her cheek softly with his fingers.

“You took good care of me when I was hurt,” he said. “And, the level of sacrifice that you made for someone you love was incredible. I actually envied your brother. I tried to imagine that you could love me as much as you do him. I am a fool.”

“No you’re not, Will,” she said with understanding and concern.

He sighed, then chuckled, trying not to act hurt. “If you don’t love me, then I shall just have to find a way to get over you.” He feigned light heartedness.

“No, I don’t want you to get over me,” she said sincerely. “I want you to love me.”

William had the overwhelming urge to kiss her, but held back. He wasn’t sure how receptive she’d be to him.

“What do you want from me, William?’ asked Tess, looking deep into his eyes.

“I want you to love me back,” he answered simply.

She was quiet for a moment. Then, she spoke. “I do,” she replied. “I do love you William.” Tess knew that this was what she felt for Tavington. She didn’t know why she knew. She just did.

“Then I have your heart,” asked William as a smile unfolded across his lips.

“Yes!”

“I had no idea how you felt. Why didn’t you tell me,” he asked.

“The same reasons you couldn’t tell me,” she answered. “I didn’t know how you felt about me, either. I thought you had your choice of more experienced women falling into your bed.”

“Yes,” admitted William, “but that’s not what I want anymore. Maybe it’s my age, I don’t know. I think I was ready for love again.”

Tess was happy. “Then, I’ve captured your heart?” She was beaming at him. He knew he’d made her happy.

“Yes! I am your prisoner,” Will replied. “I surrender willingly.”

With that, he enfolded her in his arms and kissed her deeply.

As she held on to him she murmured, “I’m sorry that I caused a fight between us. I’m even more sorry that I hurt you, William.”

“We are together now, and we understand each other,” William whispered back. “There is no hurt left.”

Tess smiled sweetly up at him, and he returned a handsome smile to her. After another moment of looking into each other’s eyes, they kissed again, softly and slowly.

They withdrew from one another’s lips, knowing their time was limited. Colonel Tavington was overdue to get back to the command tent. They walked along the narrow lane back toward the mansion and barns. This particular road on the estate was not a main road, so it was not heavily traveled and therefore, it was quiet. It afforded the new couple a small amount of privacy to walk and talk.

As they walked, they took their time and did so slowly, making every minute count. The Colonel held the reins of his horse in his right hand, leading his horse, and held Miss Bordon’s hand in his left one. She loved the feeling of a man holding her hand. It warmed her throughout and made her feel loved.

Suddenly, Tavington stopped dead in his tracks. There was a look of concern on his face.

Tess was puzzled.“What is it, William?”

He sighed and looked at her. “When is Geoffrey supposed to come home?”

“In a day or two is what General O’Hara said,” she answered.

Worry clouded the Colonel’s features as he looked to the side. He shook his head and looked back at Tess. “I don’t think your brother will allow you to see me.”

“Why not?” She asked innocently.

She certainly is naïve to what her brother says about her; the plans he has for her, thought Tavington.

“He has big plans for you. He has made it known that he wants the best for you. And a soldier does not fit the mold of a good mate,” Answered Will.

“But he is a soldier,” she argued, “ and a commander, nonetheless. He is around soldiers all the time!”

“Exactly! He knows what kind of a life it is and doesn’t want you to get involved with it.”

Tess was bewildered. She had been blissfully unaware of her brother’s hopes and plans for her to marry well and have a good life. Love may or may not come with the package.

“Um….but….I thought…….” , Tess’ voice trailed away. She couldn’t seem to find the words to say.

“Look, Tess,” he began, “I don’t think we should tell Geoffrey of our relationship just yet.”

“Why? I love you and I am not ashamed of it,” declared Tess.

“I know, and I feel the same,” Will replied. “I just think we should keep things discreet for awhile.”

“Oh, Will, I don’t want to sneak around,” she protested. “I just…..I hate to lie to him. He has been so good to raise me.”

“Tess, it is no different than the discretion we’ve had to abide by for the last two months, except that I am ‘officially courting’ you now, instead of upholding a bargain,” Will explained.

“I hate to go behind his back,” sighed Tess.

“Yes, but if we don’t, he may stop things between us before they have a chance to get started,” fretted Will. “I don’t want to lose you before I’ve even had the chance to woo you properly.”

His honesty that he did not want to lose her touched her heart. She stepped close to him and slipped her arms about his waist. He put his arms around her and they kissed.

William took her by the shoulders and gently pushed her back to look at him. He wanted her to understand his fear and how serious he was.

“For the time being, let’s keep this a secret and not worry Geoffrey with it. He is going to need some time to get re-acquainted with freedom and daily Dragoon life again. It would just overwhelm him.”

“I know you’re right,” Tess conceded. “But we will tell him eventually.”

“Yes,” affirmed William, “in a month or two.”

“I’ll tell him then,” she said.

“Or I can tell him,” William volunteered.

“Or, we can tell him together, ”she said as she looked up lovingly at William.

“That will be fine. It will give us a chance to be alone together for awhile with no outside interference. And it will also afford us the time to figure out how to tell him about us.”

William knew in his heart that Major Bordon would never let his daughter have anything to do with him. By keeping their relationship a secret for awhile, it would buy him some more time to be with the girl he loved. Then, he could figure out what more he could do about the situation.

With that, the couple linked hands affectionately again and walked slowly back to the barn and tent area.