A past that never is

Song belongs to sister sledge or whoever wrote it.

Maybe I shouldn’t have told him, but I figured that they’d all find out sooner or later and then they’d want to know why I hadn’t told them myself. Ghost contacted Roland and told him that they were a few kilometre’s away from the support line they were planning on going through and he and Morpheus went up to the cockpit. I sat at the Matrix monitors, which now looked totally screwed up. A few moments later I felt the ship lurch slightly, then Roland, AK, Mauser, Colt and Link came rushing past.

“What’s going on?” I called to their retreating backs.

“Sentinels have spotted us, stay here.” Roland paused only long enough to answer me, before he hurried off in the direction of the gun bay.

“Jesus Christ.” I knew that we’d never make it back to Zion, the Hammer was to slow. A moment later the ship rocketed forward and I nearly slid out of my chair, I quickly strapped myself in.

“Slow down, this ain’t the Logos!” I heard Roland say through the headset.

“Hold onto your lunch, Roland, here we go.” Niobe’s voice told him. Then the ship rolled and dived.

“Holy Christ! I didn’t know this ship could do that.” I heard Roland say. Despite the situation I smiled, at least I knew some things would never change. The ship started going faster and I could only imagine the look on Rolands face, I’ll admit it wasn’t much fun for me either. I had buckled myself in so tightly that the strap was digging into the wound on my chest and shoulder, I could have loosened it, but then id get thrown the place.

“You guys might want to strap yourselves in.” Niobe warned.

“You should have told me that five minutes ago when you were trying to teach me how to fly.” I muttered under my breath. What was I supposed to do up here anyway? Panic? I thought. The ship jerked as it rounded a bend.

“Shit, she’s got a fat ass.” Niobe said.

“Keep ‘em off me!”

“Goddamn, there’s a shitload of ‘em.” I heard Roland say.

“Captain! Do you see that?” Mauser asked.

“They’re going for the radio, stop ‘em!” Roland told him.

“Dammit!” I tapped one of the screens giving me a direct feed from the holographics sensors; the radio antenna was gone. I heard Niobe giving Morpheus commands and then yelling at him when he wasn’t doing it fast enough.

“There’s the exit.” I heard Morpheus say.

“On my mark, give me full power, 90 degrees, lower left starboard.” Niobe told him.

“Full power, 90 degrees.”

“Now!” I felt the ship lurch and then slip to the side as it spun around.

“Hold on, baby.”

“Goddamn, woman, you can drive.” Roland told her.

“We ain't home yet. What about the gate?” Niobe asked.

“Sentinels are inside the dock.” Morpheus replied.

“Are we too late?” The ship speeded up again. Then the back of the ship just seemed to drop and I could hear and feel the grating as it dragged along the ground. I heard sounds like small explosions coming from down below.

“Shut that down!” Roland yelled.

“We can’t make it! We gotta blow the EMP now!”

“You want me to charge it?” I asked.

“No.” Said Niobe.

“Yes.” That was Morpheus. Great, make up your minds. I thought.

“Captain Roland, will I charge the EMP?” I asked again.

“Yes, charge it.” He told me. I flicked the switch.

“The gates not open yet!” Yelled Morpheus.

“Yes!” Niobe called.

“Can we make it?” Morpheus asked her.

“We ain’t come this far.”

“Almost home...almost home.” Link muttered quietly. Then we hit what was the gate and the ship shook violently and then we crashed down.

“Burn it, Shifter!” Yelled Morpheus. I twisted the EMP switch and electricity surged outward from the ship. Did we do it? I wondered, as we finally came to a stop. I unstrapped myself with shaking hands.

“Goddamn we made it.” Roland said from behind me. I turned to him, not quite being able to believe his words, but knowing that they were true, he pulled me into an exuberant hug. Then he led me to the hatch, which wouldn’t open; he took a step back and kicked it open. We were greeted by a cheering crowd, all of whom wanted to hug us. After a few moments Morpheus, Niobe and Roland went down to meet Locke. The rest of us made our way to the temple. A while later Roland came down to us, he spoke for a few minutes to AK, Colt and Mauser, then pulled me aside to talk to me privately.

“The machines will still be able to come through. I’m joining the rest of the military at the temple entrance.” He said. I knew what it was that he wasn’t saying. This was the last time that I’d see him alive and probably not much longer after that the machines would come for the rest of us. The machines might kill us all, but we wouldn’t give up without a fight. I leaned against him and allowed him to put his arms around me, he rested his chin on top of my head. We stayed like that for a few moments before he finally pulled away.

“Goodbye, Shifter. I love you.” He whispered, he turned and walked away, not looking back once. But I didn’t stop looking until I saw his broad back disappear amongst the pillars.

“I love you to.” I said it so quietly that no one heard me. Then I sat down on the floor. To wait for death to come for me. AK was still giving me odd looks, but I was trying to ignore him as my mind replayed Rolands last words over and over again. But finally I turned to AK, one eyebrow raised.

“Well, are you going to ask or not?” I asked him.

“Ask what?” He said.

“I might not be psychic, but those looks you’ve been giving me ever since you found out suggests that there’s something on your mind. So out with it.” I told him. He blushed and looked away from me.

“What do you want me to say?” He asked

“What do you want to know first?”

“How did you...how old were you when you first came out of the Matrix?...If you don’t want to answer that’s alright.” He said.

“I don’t know how old I was I don’t remember being removed. Maybe I was never put in at all.”

“You never had...” He trailed off.

“Parents? A childhood? Nope, didn’t have either of them.” I said.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to-” he said quietly. I held up my hand to cut him off.

“It doesn’t really matter now anyway, does it?” I asked, smiling sadly.

“What did the machines want with you?” He asked. To be their way of letting off steam. I thought silently.

“I don’t really know. Didn’t stick around long enough to actually find out.” I told him. And I doubt whether I would have lasted this long under their tender care. I thought bitterly.

“Why not?” He asked. I laughed with little humor.

“Because sometime nice food and warm clothes aren’t everything.” I looked him in the eye and my words from a few moments ago came back to me ‘It doesn’t really matter now anyway, does it?’

“Tell me something, AK. Have you ever been in pain? So much so that all you wanted in the end was for death, even though you didn’t know what death was, or if it was any worse than the pain you were in?” I asked. He looked at me as though he had never seen me before.

“I can’t say that I have.”

“When I was nine Morpheus rescued me from them. All I knew up until that point in my life was pain. I remember asking them once why they were doing that to me. Know what they said? That they did it because they could. Besides who was going to stop them? Rape was their favorite thing; or at least I think it was, they certainly did it often enough.” His eyes widened at that.

“But you said that...”

“That I was nine when Morpheus found me; yes, I know. I wasn’t lying about that.” I told him. And finally all I had been saying seemed to sink into his mind.

“Does that answer your question as to why I didn’t want to stay with them anymore?” I asked him. He nodded.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you. Why did you come to work on the Hammer after what they did to you?” He asked.

“Sometimes I wish that they hadn’t done to me what they did, maybe I could have had a normal life, whatever normal is. Many people think that the Matrix is a lot better than living here in Zion or on a ship. Maybe if the machines hadn’t used me then I would still be a part of the Matrix, totally oblivious to the fact that I was nothing more than food for machines, I wouldn’t have seen life for what it really is. I would never have met Morpheus, you or Roland.” I caught my breath as I realized that I would never see him again, but then plunged on.

“Yes, life can be hard here, but who the hell said life was easy anyway? I would prefer to see what’s real, even if none of you were here.” I put my arm across his shoulder and pointed to Cass who sat nearby with Strafe and Jade.

“In answer to your question as to why I went to work on the Hammer. That’s why . Through experience, I know what a machine can do to a child. And I’m not going to let them do that to Strafe, Jade or any other child here. In answer to your question as to why I went to work on the Hammer. That’s why. What an operator does on a ship might not necessarily be as important as what others do. But it does help to stop the machines from taking over everything.” I looked up at the sound of running feet. AK moved to push me behind him protectively, but I stepped around him.

“Not going to make much difference anyway.” I said quietly. Then someone appeared on the outcropping above us.

“Zion! Zion! Zion, it's over! It's over! The war is over! The war is over!” He yelled. I turned to AK; he looked as surprised as I felt. Then we heard Link yell in triumph and the crammed temple broke out in cheers. AK grabbed me and started dancing around, we laughed. But then I remembered and turned to make my way to the entrance of the temple.

“Roland.” I whispered a feeling of dread inside me. A part of me wanted to believe he was fine, but some part of me told me he wasn’t.

Then I saw him running down the path from the outcrop towards me; he came to a stop in front of me. We stared into each other’s eyes for a long time, before I threw myself at him.

“I thought you were dead.” I whispered in his ear. He kissed me hard on the lips.

“I’m right here.” He told me.

“What happened?” I asked, not letting him go. And he refused to let me go as we rejoined AK, Colt and Mauser.

“The machines just turned around and left. Morpheus says that Neo must have done it.” He replied. And that was just what seemed to be passing through the temple; that Neo had saved us all.

“But why would they just leave like that? I don’t trust them.” I muttered the last part. How could I after what they did to me? Roland squeezed my shoulder.

“They’re still gone. He must have stuck some sort of deal or something.” He said. I was shoved against him as something hit my leg, I looked down.

“Mama says there gone, Shifter.” Jade cried. I bent down to her and she grabbed me around the neck.

“No more sentinels. They’re not going to come back are they?” She asked worriedly.

“No, they’re not coming back.” I told her. She grinned up at me as she let go of my neck and grabbed my hands, pulling me away from Roland and started dancing around while singing. I looked back at Roland and saw him smiling, full of promises that were yet to come. I joined my sister and together our voices soared.

We are family

I got all my sisters with me

We are family

Get up ev'rybody and sing

Ev'ryone can see we're together

As we walk on by

And we fly just like birds of a feather

I won't tell no lie

All of the people around us they say

Can they be that close

Just let me state for the record

We're giving love in a family dose

Living life is fun and we've just begun

To get our share of the world's delights

High hopes we have for the future

And our goal's in sight

No we don't get depressed

Here's what we call our golden rule

Have faith in you and the things you do

You won't go wrong

This is our family Jewel