The Darkness of Desire
folder
Star Wars (All) › General
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
15
Views:
15,814
Reviews:
61
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Star Wars (All) › General
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
15
Views:
15,814
Reviews:
61
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own the Star Wars movie series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Moments of Bliss
Darkness of Desire
Disclaimer: This is a non-profit story, and I own none of the characters.
Author – Courtier
Rating – N-17 for situations of sexuality and slash
Summary – A coming of age story chronicling the relationship between Anakin Skywalker and his master, Obi-wan Kenobi; a story of passion, empathy, and confliction.
The story continues following Anakin’s tortured confession. . .
Chapter XIV – Moments of Bliss
Obi-wan Kenobi stood rooted to the floor.
Have I gone mad? Did my apprentice just reveal that he loves me?!
Anakin was staring up at him with large, glistening blue eyes. His apprentice had never looked so utterly heartbroken.
Things are happening too fast. He knows how I felt of Qui-gon? He loves me? He wishes to abandon his apprenticeship?
Obi-wan was unable to grasp a reasonable thought. He’d been hit too hard. Resignedly, he fell onto the cot beside his apprentice, staring unseeingly across the room. There was so many questions he needed to ask, yet none of them seemed rational or sensible.
“How long?” he finally asked weakly.
“Years,” came the soft reply beside him. “Perhaps since the beginning, before I understood.”
I just can’t understand it! For the past years, he’s been distant! I never even imagined it was because he loved me!
“Why?” he asked wonderingly.
His padawan sniffed before answering.
“Why did you love your master?”
Pondering the question, old memories floated into sight. It had begun as admiration. Then, it had slowly evolved into devotion, until eventually desire.
“I – I don’t know, Anakin. I was just drawn to him somehow.”
“It is the same with me. Somehow, I am just drawn to you.”
They sat side by side, each lost in their own thoughts of devotion and heartache.
“Now you understand why I can’t possibly become a Jedi, Obi-wan,” Anakin said. “I thought I would be able to conceal it, as you have done.” Obi-wan turned to see him shaking his head sadly. “But I can’t. To this day it still haunts you. I could never endure that kind of pain as a Knight of the Order. You’re a much stronger man than me. A much better knight than I could ever dream of becoming.”
These words struck Obi-wan directly in his heart.
My young padawan, whom I have raised for nearly a decade is in horrible pain. . . . .because of me. I am the one who is hurting him. He hated himself.
“Oh, Anakin. . .” He moved toward his apprentice, draping an arm over him to draw him closer. Wordlessly, Anakin moved into the embrace and remained quiet; his head nestled beneath Obi-wan’s chin.
Obi-wan shook his head sadly to himself.
“Why, Anakin?” he muttered faintly. “Why did it have to be me?”
“I’m sorry. . .” he heard Anakin reply sadly.
Obi-wan pulled Anakin apart from him slightly so that they could look on one another. The younger Jedi’s eyes were raw and still glistened with tears. Lifting his hand to lovingly hold the side of his padawan’s face, Obi-wan brushed aside a falling tear with his thumb.
He realized that Anakin was completely lost within his own despair. How can I allow him to feel this way?
He leaned forward and placed his mouth softly onto Anakin’s in a gentle kiss. As he began to pull back, he suddenly froze.
What have I done. . . .?
Somehow, it had seemed a perfectly reasonable thing to do at the time. He hadn’t even dwelled on what he’d done. And yet, how could he have simply made move to kiss his padawan?! Panic seized Obi-wan’s heart with an iron fist. He was still inches from Anakin’s face. Thinking wildly, he strove to conceive an excuse for what he’d done.
“Anakin, forgive m – .”
Obi-wan never finished his sentence.
Anakin had leaned into him forcefully, closing their lips together once more. Obi-wan opened his mouth to gasp in surprise, and felt his apprentice deepen the kiss with a heated desire. Anakin was now moving past the elder Jedi’s lips to leave frantic kisses along his jaw and down towards the soft flesh below his ear.
There was no time for either thought or reaction. Obi-wan remained unmoving, suspended in a deep state of disbelief. Of a sudden, he thought he could hear Anakin speaking to him, as if from another world.
“Please. . .please. . .” his apprentice was feverishly begging him between kisses.
What is it that he wants?
Anakin made his way slowly back towards Obi-wan’s lips and halted, merely breathing into the elder Jedi’s mouth. And suddenly, he knew what it was his padawan was pleading for. Without thought, he brought a hand behind Anakin’s neck and brought him forward, returning the kiss. He felt a strange vibration as Anakin groaned into his mouth.
Obi-wan Kenobi’s world of formality suddenly crumbled before him. He’d had fantasies and dreams of passion before, yet had never experienced it firsthand.
To his great pleasure and dismay, it turned out to be pure bliss. For a few moments, time completely halted. There was only Anakin and the soothing, fiery desire that flooded within him. Both fed off of each other’s desire and lust that had been locked away within the corners of their hearts.
These were moments of bliss. . . . .and then they ended.
Reality came crashing into view suddenly, and Obi-wan pulled away. Anakin emitted a small moan of frustration and attempted to lean forward to reengage the embrace once more. However, the elder Jedi placed a firm hand against the padawan’s chest.
“No more, Anakin. . .” he uttered between heated breaths.
He saw the fire and energy die from his apprentice’s eyes. Without argument or a single word, Anakin collapsed onto Obi-wan’s shoulder. He felt his hot breath seeping through the cloth of his tunic.
I have committed a sin, and led my apprentice into temptation. . .
He closed his eyes, striving to ward off the guilt that crashed into him.
“Anakin?” he asked. The padawan did not answer, yet he knew he was listening. “This can never happen again. . . .”
Much more coming soon. . . .
The past two chapters were originally one chapter, but I decided to split them into two so that I could get both of their point of views for this part of the story. This chapter has actually been the hardest for me to write. I was blocked for a like a week, and then I must have re-written it a thousand times. That’s why it’s taken so long to update. Anyway, hope you enjoyed the last installment and look for more soon. :)
Disclaimer: This is a non-profit story, and I own none of the characters.
Author – Courtier
Rating – N-17 for situations of sexuality and slash
Summary – A coming of age story chronicling the relationship between Anakin Skywalker and his master, Obi-wan Kenobi; a story of passion, empathy, and confliction.
The story continues following Anakin’s tortured confession. . .
Chapter XIV – Moments of Bliss
Obi-wan Kenobi stood rooted to the floor.
Have I gone mad? Did my apprentice just reveal that he loves me?!
Anakin was staring up at him with large, glistening blue eyes. His apprentice had never looked so utterly heartbroken.
Things are happening too fast. He knows how I felt of Qui-gon? He loves me? He wishes to abandon his apprenticeship?
Obi-wan was unable to grasp a reasonable thought. He’d been hit too hard. Resignedly, he fell onto the cot beside his apprentice, staring unseeingly across the room. There was so many questions he needed to ask, yet none of them seemed rational or sensible.
“How long?” he finally asked weakly.
“Years,” came the soft reply beside him. “Perhaps since the beginning, before I understood.”
I just can’t understand it! For the past years, he’s been distant! I never even imagined it was because he loved me!
“Why?” he asked wonderingly.
His padawan sniffed before answering.
“Why did you love your master?”
Pondering the question, old memories floated into sight. It had begun as admiration. Then, it had slowly evolved into devotion, until eventually desire.
“I – I don’t know, Anakin. I was just drawn to him somehow.”
“It is the same with me. Somehow, I am just drawn to you.”
They sat side by side, each lost in their own thoughts of devotion and heartache.
“Now you understand why I can’t possibly become a Jedi, Obi-wan,” Anakin said. “I thought I would be able to conceal it, as you have done.” Obi-wan turned to see him shaking his head sadly. “But I can’t. To this day it still haunts you. I could never endure that kind of pain as a Knight of the Order. You’re a much stronger man than me. A much better knight than I could ever dream of becoming.”
These words struck Obi-wan directly in his heart.
My young padawan, whom I have raised for nearly a decade is in horrible pain. . . . .because of me. I am the one who is hurting him. He hated himself.
“Oh, Anakin. . .” He moved toward his apprentice, draping an arm over him to draw him closer. Wordlessly, Anakin moved into the embrace and remained quiet; his head nestled beneath Obi-wan’s chin.
Obi-wan shook his head sadly to himself.
“Why, Anakin?” he muttered faintly. “Why did it have to be me?”
“I’m sorry. . .” he heard Anakin reply sadly.
Obi-wan pulled Anakin apart from him slightly so that they could look on one another. The younger Jedi’s eyes were raw and still glistened with tears. Lifting his hand to lovingly hold the side of his padawan’s face, Obi-wan brushed aside a falling tear with his thumb.
He realized that Anakin was completely lost within his own despair. How can I allow him to feel this way?
He leaned forward and placed his mouth softly onto Anakin’s in a gentle kiss. As he began to pull back, he suddenly froze.
What have I done. . . .?
Somehow, it had seemed a perfectly reasonable thing to do at the time. He hadn’t even dwelled on what he’d done. And yet, how could he have simply made move to kiss his padawan?! Panic seized Obi-wan’s heart with an iron fist. He was still inches from Anakin’s face. Thinking wildly, he strove to conceive an excuse for what he’d done.
“Anakin, forgive m – .”
Obi-wan never finished his sentence.
Anakin had leaned into him forcefully, closing their lips together once more. Obi-wan opened his mouth to gasp in surprise, and felt his apprentice deepen the kiss with a heated desire. Anakin was now moving past the elder Jedi’s lips to leave frantic kisses along his jaw and down towards the soft flesh below his ear.
There was no time for either thought or reaction. Obi-wan remained unmoving, suspended in a deep state of disbelief. Of a sudden, he thought he could hear Anakin speaking to him, as if from another world.
“Please. . .please. . .” his apprentice was feverishly begging him between kisses.
What is it that he wants?
Anakin made his way slowly back towards Obi-wan’s lips and halted, merely breathing into the elder Jedi’s mouth. And suddenly, he knew what it was his padawan was pleading for. Without thought, he brought a hand behind Anakin’s neck and brought him forward, returning the kiss. He felt a strange vibration as Anakin groaned into his mouth.
Obi-wan Kenobi’s world of formality suddenly crumbled before him. He’d had fantasies and dreams of passion before, yet had never experienced it firsthand.
To his great pleasure and dismay, it turned out to be pure bliss. For a few moments, time completely halted. There was only Anakin and the soothing, fiery desire that flooded within him. Both fed off of each other’s desire and lust that had been locked away within the corners of their hearts.
These were moments of bliss. . . . .and then they ended.
Reality came crashing into view suddenly, and Obi-wan pulled away. Anakin emitted a small moan of frustration and attempted to lean forward to reengage the embrace once more. However, the elder Jedi placed a firm hand against the padawan’s chest.
“No more, Anakin. . .” he uttered between heated breaths.
He saw the fire and energy die from his apprentice’s eyes. Without argument or a single word, Anakin collapsed onto Obi-wan’s shoulder. He felt his hot breath seeping through the cloth of his tunic.
I have committed a sin, and led my apprentice into temptation. . .
He closed his eyes, striving to ward off the guilt that crashed into him.
“Anakin?” he asked. The padawan did not answer, yet he knew he was listening. “This can never happen again. . . .”
Much more coming soon. . . .
The past two chapters were originally one chapter, but I decided to split them into two so that I could get both of their point of views for this part of the story. This chapter has actually been the hardest for me to write. I was blocked for a like a week, and then I must have re-written it a thousand times. That’s why it’s taken so long to update. Anyway, hope you enjoyed the last installment and look for more soon. :)