Journey

Tarot - The Devil


Temptation

There was something about John Murdoch, something addicting, something that made Daniel ache for him when they were apart, something that made him want to crawl inside his skin when they were together. Some small corner of his psychiatrist's mind regarded this dispassionately, analytically. Tried to tell the rest of him that it wasn't healthy. It didn't succeed.

His body hurt, scar tissue from old injures flaring up with the sudden sharp increase of athletic activity in his life. And even though some part of him knew that he'd done this before, somewhere long ago when he was a different person, he ached from it now, from the enthusiastic desperation of their passion. He couldn't tell John, John who touched him more tenderly than he'd ever thought possible. John, whose gentle, careful hands and beginner's enthusiasm wrought the most delicious pleasure in him, who let him forget for a time everything that had happened, forget all the scars. And the sex was so very, very good, the gentle build of arousal driving them to heated, desperate intercourse, and when John was inside him, bodies pressed together, skin slicked with sweat, the ache mixed with pleasure was so delicious that he couldn't help but encourage the passion, almost needing it rough. He couldn't help but crave it, crave John's heat and intensity, the overwhelming feeling of completeness when they coupled, when they lay together afterward, breathless and sated.

It was so easy to believe in those moments that nothing else mattered, nothing else existed in the universe but the two of them, their need, their pleasure. And so he didn't complain when John tugged him back to bed, kept him from work, days passing in indulgence. Making love, loosing themselves to desire. Eating, bathing, sleeping in exhaustion. Curling together in Daniel's soft bed, whispering soft words of love and devotion, words that made Daniel's heart ache so wonderfully.

Still, his mind went back to the reason for their argument, the concerns that he couldn't quite push away. He curled closer to John and sighed, rather wishing he could set aside his conscience, stay like that forever.

John's fingers were gentle on his skin, stroking over his back. "What's wrong, love?"

"Work," Daniel murmured, nestling his face into John's shoulder. "I can't set aside the feeling of dread... or responsibility. I wish I could. But... it's too easy for the city to dissolve into anarchy at a moment's notice, with the way things are now." He raised his head, meeting John's clear green eyes with his own. "I cannot in all good conscience sit by and do nothing when my actions are what put us all in this state...."

John shook his head. "It wasn't your choice...."

A soft smile. "Coercion or not... I need to make restitution, John." He looked down, feeling suddenly vulnerable. "But... I can't fix it alone, love... I don't have your gifts...."

John's lips pressed to his forehead, his touch warm, calming. Driving away the uncertainty. "And I don't have the knowledge to do it alone. So we'll do it together. However you advise, whatever you think we need to do, I will do." John was silent for a moment, hands slipping from his back to his side, fingers dancing slowly over his scars, and Daniel wondered if John knew how sensitive the skin was, knew how powerful his touch was. "It's just... hard to stop myself from touching you...."

He shivered, tilting his head up wordlessly to receive his kiss, warm desire awakening, overtaking reason. "...tomorrow?"

John pulled him closer with a soft, appreciative moan, voice husky against his mouth. "Tomorrow."